"Emotional incest is a violation and invasion of our emotional boundaries. It is not sexual abuse, nor is it sexual in nature - although sexual incest is often accompanied by emotional incest. It can however cause great damage to our relationship with our own gender and sexuality. Emotional incest, along with religions that teach that sexuality is shameful and societal beliefs that one gender is superior to the other, fall into a category that I call sexuality abuse - because they directly impact our relationship with our own sexuality and gender."This is an article in a series of articles focused upon issues involving gender, sexuality, romantic relationships, and directly related topics.
"Those of us who have emotional incest issues, feel responsible for the feelings of the people we get involved with in romantic relationships because we felt responsible in childhood for one or both of our parents emotional well being. Because our emotional boundaries were violated by our parents in childhood, we don't know how to have emotional boundaries in intimate relationship."
"If we are incapable of respecting our self, or having boundaries, we are incapable of getting our sexual needs met in any healthy way. Often people with emotional incest issues will have a pattern of being sexual with people they don't even like - because being sexual with someone they feel close to emotionally feels wrong, feels taboo. Emotional incest can have a very detrimental effect on a person's relationship to their own sexuality - and on their ability to have a healthy romantic relationship."
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|This is article is part of a series of articles which
are focused upon issues involving gender, sexuality, romantic relationships,
and directly related topics. This article Emotional Incest = Sexuality
Abuse was originally published online November 24, 2003 on Robert's
Inner Child / Codependency Recovery page on the Suite101.com Directory.
There is a list of - and links to - the other articles in this series on
Suite 101 on the Suite101
Articles page. This article was used to create this page
on Joy2MeU in September of 2004.
Emotional Incest = Sexuality Abuse
"Consider a scenario where mother is crying in her bedroom and her three year old toddles into the room. To the child it looks as if mom is dying. The child is terrified and says, "I love you mommy!" Mom looks at her child. Her eyes fill with love, and her face breaks into a smile. She says, 'Oh honey, I love you so much. You are my wonderful little boy/girl. Come here and give mommy a hug. You make mommy feel so good.'
As the last quote from my book above states, tribal cultures that lived in close relationship with the land, had more respect for the rhythms of nature - for natures cycles of growth and development. I find great wisdom in some of the ways the natural developmental process was integrated into certain Native American cultural practices.
I wrote an updated version of that article in 2000 as part of an series of articles on inner child healing: Emotional Incest Issues
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Emotional Incest = Sexuality Abuse was originally published online November 24, 2003 on Robert's Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page on the Suite101.com Directory. Some slight changes were made in moving this article to Joy2MeU.com - primarily in removing references to other articles on suite101 and changing the links for those articles to counterparts on Joy2MeU.