Abundant Spirituality + codependency recovery + inner child healing + Love = Joy2MeULogo of Joy to You & Me Enterprises, publisher of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls Joy2MeU Home Page
This is the Newsletter of the Joy2MeU web site of codependency therapist, inner child healing pioneer, Spiritual teacher Robert Burney - who is the author of the Joyously inspirational book of Spirituality: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.
These Update Newsletters are posted online 3 or 4 times a year at about 3 or 4 month intervals - although this year it is working out that I am posting them at shorter intervals.  A short announcement e-mail is sent out notifying people - who sign up for the Joy2MeU e-mailing list - when a new Update is posted.  (Links within the text will open in a separate browser window, while most of those in right hand column will take you away from this page.)
Joy to You & Me and Joy2MeU Update
Hello Recovering Codependent, 

Well here it is kindred spirit, my first Update in over 6 months - and only my second Update of 2008.  It is probably also my last Update Newsletter in this format - because of the exciting new developments associated with Joy2MeU, which includes an modern way of keeping e-mail lists and sending out Newsletters.  Even though I have only posted 2 Updates this year, I have been sending out much more frequent updates about what is happening to my Yahoo e-mailing list -  and it was one of the most recent of those updates that sparked the writing of two new articles that I has hoped to post with this Update, but that I actually posted last Saturday.

First however the exciting new developments.  You all should have received the announcement about the new websites to promote and share my work.  A series of up to 10 websites are planned to focus on different aspects of my work - in the hopes of reaching a larger audience.  The first of those sites is RobertBurneyLive.com.  This site is going to serve as the eCommerce hub for a the series of websites that will be launched focused upon my writing.  The other site that we have launched at this point is Wounded Souls.com which is focused on codependency.  

I launched my first primitive site in February 1988, and my own domain Joy2MeU.com in February of 1989.  This site, Joy2MeU.com is a huge website (over 350 pages - of which about 250 are available to anyone with internet access) that people often have trouble navigating (kind of a labyrinth.)  The color scheme is also difficult for some people to read - and the style is far out of date in terms of website design (someone recently described it as looking like something from 1996.)  As a result I have teamed with Jeff Sohler of Enrichment Unlimited to design and maintain this new series of sites.  Jeff is the person who created the work in progress CDs that we have been able to offer since it was no longer economically feasible to produce cassette tapes - cassettes being a thing of the past now.  (These new sites and other changes are coming from a partnership with Jeff - who came to my first Intensive in April 2006.  He is investing heavily in being in partnership with me and creating these changes because he passionately supports and believes in my work and wants to help bring it to a larger audience - which is great since I haven't had the financial means to do any of these things.) 

As part of launching with these new sites we are offering an e-book version of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls for the first time, and a truly high quality downloadable MP3 version of the audio version of my book: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "An Audio Spiritual Experience"  In the future we will be offering a variety of other products and services including other e-books, as well as downloadable audios and CDs of my work .  There will be periodic telephone conferences - and the possibility of building a community for people who resonate with my work.

So, that is all real exciting.;-)  I also have teamed with Amazon.com to offer a Kindle version of my book through their innovative portable ebook, magazines and newspapers reader - Amazon.com Kindle books.  I don't have very high expectations of that at this time since their Kindle device is still quite expensive - but it was progress in making my book available in another format.

The two new articles I am adding at this time were sparked by an experience I will be sharing about in the Newsletter portion of this Update below.  Although one of those articles was actually one I started working on a year and a half ago - but never had the time, energy, or compulsion to finish: The Law of Attraction - Misunderstood & Misinterpreted  The other article is one that I wrote to go with the one on the Law of Attraction because I find so prevalent the discounting of emotions in so many of the messages of mostly Truth that are available today.  I titled that article: The Metaphysics of Emotions - emotional energy is real.

In August I made appeal for help in the reprinting Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls - and in September added this update on the situation to my Donations page.

"September 9, 2008 There is good news and not so good news.  The good news is that last week 5250 copies of the latest reprint of my book were delivered.  The not so good news is that the Printing Plant went ahead with the final print run without notifying me that they had started - there was a point when I was supposed to tell them how many I actually wanted instead of how many I had hoped to print.  Because I hadn't raised as much in donations as I had hoped, and Susan's deal didn't net her as much as we expected, I was going to decrease the print run by a third or more.  Unfortunately I didn't get that opportunity, so now am in a severe financial crunch.  Any help anyone could send our way would be greatly appreciated."

We are still experiencing that financial crunch unfortunately despite the generosity of the people who did contribute.  I had hoped the launching of the new sites and new products would help with that situation - and hopefully it will - but the launch was delayed for weeks by technical problems and as I am writing this on November 2nd, Jeff has still not solved problems that he has encountered sending out announcements to his mailing list (which is in the 10s of thousands) - so the influx of new income has not manifested as yet.  More will be revealed about how this will play out.  (Although some good news came last week in that Susan's Dad agreed to pay for part of our plane tickets to Florida for the Cruise in December as part of our Christmas gift.  I used part of the rent money for the rest - but needed to make a move because the tickets were going up on almost a daily basis, and we wanted to be sure we could make it to Florida for the Cruise. There are still cabins available for the Caribbean Cruise by the way.  We would love to have some more of you join us.;-)

In conjunction with that appeal for help I published a new page on Joy2MeU that is compiled from excerpts of a two part article that is part of The Story of my Spiritual Path / Recovery in the Joy2MeU Journal.  That article tells the story of the origins and miraculous journey that led to publishing The Dance of Wounded Souls: Leap of Faith ~ Publishing The Dance - truly an amazing story.  (And a reminder to me that there is a plan unfolding even though I don't always like the details of how the plan unfolds.)

I have also added testimonials to the Intensive testimonial page for each of the Intensives since the last Update and announced new dates for January 3rd (my 25th sobriety birthday;-) and February 15th.  There are still spaces available for the next one on November 29th.  I added the latest batch of testimonials from people whose lives have been changed by my book, tapes, CDs, and website to the Testimonial page, two new resources (in Canada and Illinois) to my referral to local healers page, and some new recommended Links to that page.

It is actually kind of hard to get time on my new computer (something I shared about in a Joy_2_Me_U message) since Darien is now so proficient on the computer that he wants to be on it alone all the time, playing games on various kids sites.  It is pretty amazing to watch him manipulate the mouse as he explores the different sites.  He is constantly surprising us with new words and phrases - with how much he knows about things we had no idea he knew anything about.

This past Monday (10th) was his 4th birthday.  One of the things he had asked for was a guitar with strings.  So I got him a little guitar that had strings but also had buttons you could push for it to play different tunes and it even has a whammy bar (that he knows how to use!).  He picked that up and started rocking out.  Strumming the guitar and fingering the frets like a real rock legend - with all the attitude on his face and the moves (holding it over his head and playing, etc.)  It was amazing.  His exuberance for life is Truly a magnificent gift to be able to experience.  I won't go on and on about him, but did want to share with you one of his classics from a couple of months ago.  We were in a store and when I told him we weren't going to buy anything today, he said, "Not going to buy anything today.  That's not good."  I will probably share some more on the Newsletter page to follow this, but Truly Darien is a Blessed Gift in our lives.  (I am going to include at the bottom of this page a picture of him with the car bed his Dad - who is in Iraq now - got him.)

Additions to the web site since the April 2008 Update include:

Two new web sites:



Three new versions of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls:

e-book version

downloadable MP3 version

Amazon.com Kindle books

Three new articles on Joy2MeU:

The Law of Attraction - Misunderstood & Misinterpreted

The Metaphysics of Emotions - emotional energy is real

Leap of Faith ~ Publishing The Dance

In addition:

There are still cabins available for the Caribbean Cruise in December

Testimonials have been added  for the most recent Intensive Training Days on the Intensive Testimonial page

 Intensive Training Days are scheduled for San Diego on  November 29th,  January 3rd (my 25th sobriety birthday;-), and February 15th.

A new batch of wonderful Testimonials for the book, tapes, and web site.


Graphic of two hearts with an arrow through them - signifying both Love and heartbreak.
Links to past Update Newsletters for the Joy2MeU site (launched February 4, 1999) can be found on the Information index page.  - and also at the bottom of the site index page.  Links to the Newsletters of my original Joy to You & Me web site (launched February 28, 1998) can be found on the Joy to You & Me page which list pages from that site not moved to Joy2MeU.


4:19 am Wednesday November 12, 2008:  I am having some difficulty getting traction in writing this Newsletter.  There are several reasons for that I believe.  One is that there are some issues I need to process about that I really would rather avoid (and it is possible I will be making some revelations and declarations that scare the crap out of me.)  A second is that I am going to be writing about 3 different - but intimately interrelated - themes:  My personal life and relationships;  the Landmark Forum;  and the personal issues that I am faced with at this point in my recovery adventure.  I am trying to get some clarity in how to structure this so that it will be most beneficial for those of you who are taking the time to read this - and at the same time I am realizing that this Newsletter may in a way mark the end of an era.

I have been processing online now for a decade.  Sharing my experience, strength, and hope - my recovery process with anyone who has access to the internet.  I guess in some ways I was blogging before there were such things as blogs.
"I guess it is pretty weird to be processing here on my computer and then sending it out for the world to read - but that is what I do.  The Truth is so powerful and wonderful and by doing the process work we get to start being allies with the Spirit where Love lives instead of with the disease where fear rules." - Joy to You & Me Update/Newsletter 11-22-98
In that November 1998 Newsletter I said a bit about the style of writing that I was developing for the internet - basically that of an indulgent writer with out an editor.  It was at that time that I also kind of came out of hiding - disengaged my cloaking devices as it were - in terms of limiting access to some of my more controversial writing.  (That was also the Newsletter that started me plunging into dealing with my fear of intimacy issues - something I am sure we will get to later.)  (The Question and Answer pages that I refer to in this quote were the idea I had that later provided an example of how to set internal boundaries in the article Setting Boundaries with inner children.)
"The next major change is that I have put a link to my question and answer pages on my Home Page for the first time.  When I first started doing the question and answer pages a few months ago I only gave the address out to you all on my mailing list.  I was a little leery about making them available to the general public for several reasons:

1.  I talk about some pretty controversial stuff from a perspective that can be upsetting to some people.  I was working on the page about Jesus and Mary Magdalene at that time and was not sure I wanted to put it out there for everyone to see.  As it turns out I am very proud of that page - I personally think it is quite Masterful - and I feel sorry for anyone who reads it with such a closed mind or rigid belief system that they would feel the need to react negatively.  (By the way, I never got a reply from the person who asked the question - but when I sent out the next update the one to that person got returned as barred from that address - sad.)  Also, though in the past I have found myself showing great resistance to being out there in front as a target - I have now come to a level of acceptance such that it would even be ok if they burned me at the stake again - I want all of the Karma settled, whatever that takes.

2.  I have been scared to death that my book editor Heidi who lives in Taos New Mexico would discover them and what she would do would probably be worse than burning at the stake.   In explanation of what I am talking about - here is the disclaimer that I just placed at the top of my indexQA page:

(For any of you that have not read my update/newsletters, the one for 8-23-98 explains that I am enjoying the freedom of approaching these Q & A pages and updates in a very casual fashion when it comes to grammar and punctuation - including allowing myself to end sentences with prepositions - so if it bothers you, it can be a wonderful opportunity to practice letting go and not throwing the baby out with the bath water. :-) )

So now I have so much courage and faith that I am not only willing to face the mob again - but also to face Heidi if I have to.  (One of those prepositions-oh well.) The index page for the question and answer pages is now out there for the world to see - so More Will Be Revealed." - Joy to You & Me Update/Newsletter 11-22-98
I have had a few people over the years who were editors or proofreaders or grammar teacher express some horror at my style - or more subtly offer to edit for me.  The thing that really marks my style as it evolved however, was created by the unique experience that is the internet - and that is my ability to include quotes and links within the articles.  Thus I ended up writing very long articles that included internal quotes and links.  Something I described in one Newsletter as Dancing in the Labyrinth.
"As I said in the Update part of this Newsletter, my process, and especially my writing, can be like finding my way through a labyrinth.  (And it just occurred to me, may be what some people's experience of my web site is like.;-)
Writing about this level of recovery for me is like exploring some kind of labyrinth at times - each twist and turn I follow leads to a new perspective, to a different facet - and just when I think I am finished, I turn a corner and am headed back into the maze. - Joy2MeU Update 5-23-01
I have periods where I can't write at all - and then when I need to write, I have great resistance to getting started.  (As I have talked about in past Update Newsletters.)   Then I have periods that are a kind of creative frenzy, where it feels as if I can't write fast enough to get all that is pouring out onto paper (Computer screen.)

I have been in one of those creative frenzies for some weeks now.  This most recent journey into the writing labyrinth has really gotten out of hand.  Out of my control that is (as if I am ever in control of the process) - and that is why this Newsletter that I promised before the end of May is only ready now.

Once the floodgates open, what I try to do, is direct the flow of my writing towards the goal I have in mind.  An article focused on a specific area, or my Update Newsletter or whatever.  I have some points I want to make, and I choose a starting point and then leap into the labyrinth.

because of the multiple levels involved in the subject areas I write about; 
because a topic can be viewed in very different ways from different perspectives; 
because writing about a topic can be very different than writing about the process of recovery in relationship to that topic;
because writing about any topic from one perspective leads me into new perspectives, new levels of understanding, and related topics;
because I am processing about my own personal recovery process while writing;
the flow of the writing often jumps out of my intended channel into a completely different, but intimately related channel.  Same tree, different branch." - May 2001 Update Newsletter
These long articles - which as I was afraid, this one is becoming - were not only long for the reasons listed but also because - as I said in my Metaphysics of Emotions article: "Another reason my articles get so long is because I want to qualify statements so that they don't come across as if I were saying what is right and what is wrong."  I had mentioned earlier in that article that:  "One of the reasons that many of my articles get very long (as this one obviously is;-), is because there are so many levels involved in this experience of being human - and I catch myself wanting to explain those levels and how they relate to each other.  I try to communicate about multiple perspectives from the metaphysical and Cosmic down to and including how the process looks and feels on a personal level.  It can get pretty complicated."

It is a style that some people love and others can't stand.  (My partner Susan is one of the people who can't stand it.;-)  It was a style that worked very well for me.  
"In the evolution of my writing for the internet (which I will touch on in the additional page I will be adding) I ended up finding it invaluable to my recovery, and very valuable to many people reading my site, to process in writing.  The way things evolved, I ended up demonstrating processing - and role modeling that it is okay to be human - by writing on an intimate level about my recovery process.  There have always been many people who found it valuable, but also some who found it irritating.  There was one person who referred to it as babble.
"The processing I did last June (in my Update Newsletters) and July (here in this journal) got me in touch with one way I was setting myself up to be unavailable for romantic relationship.  I realized in writing this, that I hadn't ever really summed those realizations up very well.  I tend to get off into explanations of the process - which is helpful to readers I hope - and kind of lose track of the issues I am processing about for a while anyway, though I usually end up back at them.  Sorry, about that.  One of my phone counseling clients the other day - a person who has found a wealth of help in reading my pages and has described the phone counseling experience as making the words from my book and site kind of leap off the page and come alive for him - mentioned that there was one of my pages where I just kind of seemed to be babbling.  I am pretty sure he was talking about one of the Newsletter pages where I was processing - since he doesn't subscribe to this Journal.  Perhaps that is what my processing pages - in this journal, and in certain Update Newsletters - comes across as.   Hopefully, you all do find this babble useful. ;-)" -   - Joy2MeU Journal:  The Path of one Recovering Codependent ~ the dance of one wounded soul My Unfolding Dance 13 July 2, 2002
As I said above, if you don't like my indulgent style of processing - if you have ADD or something - then go in peace and blessed be.  I am going to keep doing what works for me - and hopefully being able to communicate to the people that do get my writing, that codependency recovery is a holistic, multi-faceted experience.  Recovery is an ongoing dance of uncovering and discovering - and ongoing dance of working to try to stay in balance enough to find some enjoyment in this life journey.  We need to keep paying attention and trying to stay conscious of the things we have some control over - at the same time we are learning to relax, let go of the things we can't control, and trust the Spirit to guide us where we need to go." - Joy2MeU March 2007 Update
And I think in terms of the web articles (as I came to call them, as opposed to articles with no links in them) - they have been very helpful to many people.  Those are the articles in which I am trying to communicate information, as opposed to the personal journal articles in my Joy2MeU Journal and some of the Newsletters where I am focused more on my personal process.

Not that I am not trying to communicate information in those processing pieces, but they are more personally focused and less focused on the topic / subject / theme of the informational articles.  I include sharing about my personal recovery in my informational articles also - but not the kind of personal processing that I do in my journal or Newsletters.  Actually, as I think about it, the Attack on America book turned into a very personal work that included a good bit of personal processing also.

In any case, I think the two articles that I just posted about the Law of Attraction and the Metaphysics of Emotions will probably be the last two of those kind of informational articles - and this Newsletter may be the last of that type of personal process sharing pieces.

There are several reasons for that - the primary one being that I don't have the time and energy to focus on writing these days.
"In order to write I need to get into a focused space during a time which I won't get interrupted for a period of hours.  In the years when I wrote so much of the material that is on my site - the years that I was living alone in relative isolation - I would get up at 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning to write until 10 or 11.  Now that I have a family - and a 2 year old to take care of - the early morning hours are the only time I have to really write.  But I only have uninterrupted time until about 6:30 or 7 when the baby wakes up, and then I need to start getting Darien ready to go to the Montessori school he has been attending.  I didn't get any writing done yesterday morning because the little man has a tooth coming in and had a very rough night of it - which meant less sleep for Susan and I, and no writing time." - Joy2MeU March 2007 Update
As much as I love this process of writing while I am in it - and as valuable as it has been to me - I just don't have the time and energy for it any more.  The reality is I can do whatever writing I need to do to process through issues on my own - and it would be pretty short and to the point because I wouldn't have to be worried about trying to communicate about - to paraphrase an AA phrase - where I was, what happened, and where I am now.  That is a lot of what the quotes and links that I add are about - providing context for you the reader, while also reviewing where I have been for me (which was very valuable to me.)

As has been the case for me with so many of the tools that have aided my recovery, they work for awhile and are invaluable in that period - but eventually that period is past and those particular tools aren't as valuable and useful to me as they once were.  Things keep changing in recovery - getting different.  The process dynamics stay the same, but the tools and techniques can change and evolve.

The other reasons is one that I referred to above: "It is probably also my last Update Newsletter in this format."  I started posting these Updates online and sending out a short e-mail announcement because they got so large.  They got too large to be sending out as an e-mail.

Now that we are getting the new sites going, I expect that I will be using the template available to send out the Update Newsletter - and it will be fairly short because no one likes to get huge e-mail Newsletters.  I will also be focus on writing shorter articles for the new web sites in all likelihood.  Many of the articles on my site are shorter.  Those are the ones that I originally wrote for one of several recovery newspaper and later for the Suite101 Directory.  Those articles were supposed to be limited to about 1000 words - although I often went over that limit.

As I said in one of the first articles I wrote for one of the recovery newspapers I wrote for years ago:
"Codependence and recovery are both multi-leveled, multi-dimensional phenomena. It is very easy for me to write hundreds of pages about any single aspect of codependence and recovery what is very difficult and painful is to write a short column. No facet of this topic is linear and one-dimensional, so there is no simple answer to any one question - rather there are a multitude of answers to the same question, all of which are True on some level." - Empowerment and Victimization - the power of choice
My web articles have served me well in writing about the multi-leveled phenomena of codependency and recovery. But I think I will be focusing in the future on shorter articles that are focused on trying to communicate to people how to set the internal boundaries that I share about in my inner child healing pages and teach people in my telephone counseling and Intensive workshops.

The Intensive workshops have proven to be such a good venue for teaching that internal boundary formula that I have evolved ways of explaining them that use language and examples and such that I haven't ever used in writing.  So, I think that is where my writing is going to go in the future.  

I don't know how many hours of sleep deprivation it is going to take to finish this Newsletter, but since it is probably the last one, I am going to indulge myself and follow it where it takes me.  It is possible that I will be posting this before it is finished - that is, with just this part and the part about the Landmark Forum included this week, since I promised it in the two new articles on the 14th - and already added links to it on those pages and the site index page.  That will give me time to do the personal processing part - which definitely won't be finished by Friday - and add that later.

4:19 am Friday November 14, 2008:  I am actually going to post this now without the part that I am writing about Landmark, because there is too much yet to write.  The reasons that I am involved with Landmark right now are also tied into what I am going to be writing about Landmark - so it is probably meant to go with the personal processing I am going to be doing anyway.  (I will say here for any of you who have had the possibility of Landmark brought to your attention - that I do think it is a worthwhile experience and can be helpful in getting a person to take action to create new possibilities in their lives.  It is another avenue for growth that contains some Truth and can help people align with Metaphysical Law / Law of Attraction - but as I wrote about in the two most recent articles, it is important to pick the baby out of the bathwater - take what works for you and leave the rest.  You don't have to swallow it whole.)

So I am going to be posting this today - and sending out the announcements because I am not sure how long it is going to take me to finish the rest.  I do think that this Newsletter and the two articles I just posted will be the last of their kind as I mentioned above - with one possible exception that has come to mind, that being the final article I had promised quite awhile ago for the series on the 12 steps.  Not sure when I will finish it - it is mostly written already - but I do think I will sometime in the not too distant future.

One thing I am going to do here is something that I have taken to doing in recent Updates - that is sharing some excerpts from the messages I have sent out to my Yahoo mailing list.

Here are some excerpts from some of the messages I have posted to my e-mailing list on Yahoo.  To sign up go to Joy_2_Me_U on Yahoo.

Sun Jul 20, 2008 7:57 am  "Birthdays - bah humbug"
"There was also some amusement about how much my life has changed, and how it would not have been possible for me a couple of years ago to have imagined the changes to come. I certainly could not in my wildest dreams have imagined the blessed gift of getting to raise a little boy. Darien is closer to 4 now than 3 - and continues to evolve as the amazing being that he is. I couldn't have imagined living in a city again, or being in the relationship that I have with Susan. It is all quite remarkable how the script has unfolded.

I remember thinking as I was walking on the ranch back in April about something I have been pointing out to people since the Secret came out - that is, that the Law of Karma trumps the Law of Attraction, and we cannot create "anything" we want in life. Which is actually quite a gift, because so often what we think we want is so much less than we could ever have come up with it on our own."

"Oh yea, about my birthday. I am not looking forward to it, and not happy about it. Next Wednesday July 23rd, I turn 60. I feel like crying when I write that. I can't be 60!!!!!!!! That is unthinkable!!! How did that happen???!!!!"

 Thu Aug 21, 2008 11:12 am  "I am so blessed"

"Well the good news is that I got the new computer my sister sent me (an iMac with a large screen  - it is amazing how they can fit the computer workings into such a small space these days;-) - and it is great. The bad news is that transferring my data from my old computer I screwed up and froze the old computer.  I was eventually able to get someone to take out the hard drive and transfer the data - but I did lose all my e-mail files and addresses and bookmarks.  It is weird not having the e-mail files that I could always look back on to see when someone first contacted me, or what they had communicated to me previously - even to know if a person had contacted me before at all.  Luckily - in one of those perfect Cosmic Coincidences of timing - I had transferred almost all of my e-mail list to Jeff (the guy who made the CDs and is designing the new web sites.)  He has a new e-mailing program set up for Joy2MeU that will be sending out a new look Newsletter sometime soon - announcing the new stuff that will be available.   I may have lost a handful of e-mail addresses, but that is all - so that is good. . . .

. . . . . Well, what I did in the meantime was to have ( as I say on Metaphysical Law: Giving and Receiving http://Joy2MeU.com/Spiritual_Tithes.htm ) ". . . an awesome, terribly solitary, gloriously amazing adventure for me.  An incredibly painful, transcendently Joyous, intermittently terrifying, unbelievably fulfilling journey."  And during that journey I wrote and published an incredible book along with several million words in articles for my website. This was not a plan I made or could even have imagined.  That I would now, just after my 60th birthday, be in a relationship and raising an amazing little being named Darien - and still being given the opportunity to practice the humility to ask for help - was not part of any picture I had of the future.  I am so grateful for Susan and the opportunity to be involved in the incredibly Joyous experience of raising this incredible little boy with her.  I am not so grateful that I am still in a position of having to ask for help.  But the gifts I have received over the years from being willing to follow where I am led and let go of the outcome help me to accept what is, be grateful for all that I have and have been given, and just keep following where I am led.  I am leading a very Blessed life."

Tue Sep 9, 2008 9:19 am "Interesting weekend"
"I had an interesting weekend - 3 day one actually.  From 9 am to 10 pm on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I was in the Landmark Forum Education Seminar.  They have a method and formula for dealing with the childhood wounding and programming that is quite interesting and effective in breaking through the denial of people who wouldn't even consider going to therapy or  looking at life from a Spiritual Perspective.  It is a paradigm that contains a lot of Truth and Power, although it isn't quite a large enough paradigm for me personally.  There was a lot of good information, as well as useful tools and perspectives presented however.  I will be processing the experience and seeing what impact it has on my personal process and in my work in the coming days - and will be writing about it.  I hope to have a new Update Newsletter out this month that I will share that processing in - as well as news about the new sites and e-book and all."

Sat Nov 8, 2008 6:10 pm "Two new articles posted"
"PS I have about 10 phone clients who have had to stop their work for now because of the economic crisis.  Things are pretty desperate at the moment.  If anyone out there has the resources, I could sure use a loan of a couple thousand dollars."
More Will Be Revealed

In regard to the last entry from November 8th, things were looking pretty desperate at that point.  It looked like we were going to have to take Darien out of the Montessori pre-school he is in (the thought of that broke my heart because it is the only place he gets to interact with other kids), give up the second car we have been renting by the month (the logistics of living with only one car being quite daunting), and possibly not even be able to keep all the utilities turned on or pay the rest of this months rent.  We even talked about the possibility of moving to Nebraska and staying on the farm I grew up on for the winter - because my mother is living in Lincoln with my sister for the winter.  Talk about desperation - but also, talk about being willing to look at all our choices so we don't buy into a victim perspective.  Susan hates the cold even more than I do - and she has never experienced anything like a Nebraska winter - so that would be really going to any lengths in our recovery.

The reality is that the economic situation is greatly impacting us.  I have had 10 phone clients who weren't able to continue.  Sales are down - and the new products and web sites have not created much income as yet.  Susan has had 3 part time jobs besides her work in real estate - but real estate is of course at a stand still right now.  So, she is going to be starting a new full time job in December.

Since last Saturday when I included that PS in my announcement of the new articles, Susan and I both got into action working the 3rd step - and enough money has manifested to get us through the immediate crisis in the coming days - that is pay the rest of the rent and the utility bills that are due immediately, and keep the car and Darien in school for another week or so.  What is going to happen when it comes time to pay next months rent is in the More Will Be Revealed realm right now - but at the moment we can take care of what is immediately in front of us.

Working the Third Step

"When I was in treatment getting sober I was in a city I hadn't lived in for 20 years.  I had no car and was going to be living with my brother who lived on the outskirts of the city when I got out of treatment.  I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to make it to meetings and went in to talk to my counselor about it.  He said, "You ask for rides."  "Oh no," I said. "You don't understand I never ask anybody for anything."  "Well," he said, "that is what working the third step is all about."  "Asking for rides?!?!" I said incredulously.

I thought he was crazy.  How can asking for a ride be working the third step?

Well, it is.  I needed to learn to ask not only a God I didn't trust for help - but also to ask other people to help me.  That was horrible for me.  It seemed like such a huge risk.  If I asked people for help that would give them a chance to reject me - and I had had enough rejection in my life, thank you very much!

There was a story that I heard around that time.  It was about 2 guys who were arguing about rather there was a God or not.

The first one said, "Of course, there is a God.  How can you say there is no God."

The second said, "I not only can say it - I can prove it."

"You can prove it?"

 "Yes.  Years ago I was in a small plane crash in the wilds of Alaska.  I was the only survivor and I had a broken leg.  There was nothing around for hundreds of miles, so it was only a question of rather I would freeze to death before something ate me.  I prayed to God and said 'If there is a God please save me.'  And God didn't do anything."

"What do you mean," the first man exclaimed.  "You're here and alive aren't you."

"Oh, well some Eskimo came along and saved me.  God didn't do anything."

The point:  God works through people.  We all have had Eskimos in our lives, angels disguised as people.  We are not alone in this process - we can't do it alone.

So, I learned to ask for rides.  What I know now is that the Universe always responds - just not very often in the way, or at the time I think it is necessary.  I need to ask for help and then let go of rather the person I am asking can in fact help me.  I need to take the risk and let go of the outcome.   What I need will come from someplace.  There is a verse in the bible that says: (paraphrased??)

Ask and ye shall receive.
Seek and ye shall find.
Knock and the door shall be opened.
ASK.  By asking - either God or another person - I am setting energy in motion in the Universe.  Once the energy is in motion it comes back to me at some time from some place.  I have to put it out before it will come back.  What I sow I reap.  The Universes works on the principle of cause and effect.  It is very important for me to get proactive in my own life by taking the risk of asking for help - and it is much easier when I can let go of my picture of how, and when, that help is going to manifest." - The Miracle of The Twelve Step Recovery Process: 1, 2, 3, and a 1, 2, 3 - The first three steps
I didn't use the term Law of Attraction in that quote, but that is what I was talking about.  Being willing to put out to the Universe what I want and need - ask the Universe and other people for help - and let go of the outcome.   Since I have been the Eskimo for so many people by making my writing available, I guess the Universe thinks it is still important to let people send energy back my way by giving them the opportunity to be an Eskimo for me.

Jeff is organizing a teleconference for next Thursday for people who have sent in questions when downloading the new e-book version of  Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls. Many of these people are ones from Jeff's mailing list - people who have never heard of codependence or thought it had any application in their lives.  So, perhaps that will spark some more income coming in.  I will include the information about the teleconference in the announcement e-mail I send out, in case any of you would like to listen in as I answer some of the questions.

Hopefully there will be a lot of sales this weekend so we don't start next week with such a bleak outlook.  If there is anyone out there who can make us a loan, or send in a Donations / Love Offering, that would be great.  Part of what I shared in the yahoo message list "Bah Humbug' message was this: "I have actually had some moments of anger at my Higher Power lately, and a bit of depression at times, about coming up on 60 and still having to scramble so hard just to pay the rent and keep the utilities connected. It feels so unfair that after so many years of following where I am led and doing my best to carry out my mission as a messenger of Truth, that life down here in body would still be so difficult - that a bit more abundance hasn't manifested. It is possible that I may need to ask the people on my mailing list for help in keeping the book in print again - something I really don't want to have to do. . . . The Truth is though, that the Abundance I have in my life is great (just isn't financial.;-)"

I am sure that many of you are being affected by the economic situation also, I just want to remind you that there is more to be grateful for than there is to be afraid of - though it doesn't seem like it or feel like it at times like this.  My article about Gratitude was written as a Thanksgiving article - so is appropriate to include a link to here, not only because of the time of year but also because of the place we are in time and space right now in the unfolding of the Divine Plan.  Gratitude - a Vital Tool in the Recovery Process

We are Loved even if it doesn't feel like it at times.  I will include a link here, and announce it on my New Page when I finish the Newsletter to go with this Update.  In the meantime,
Joy, Love, and Abundance to You & Me,
- 11/14/08

I never did get a Newsletter written to go with this Update (one of these days maybe) - so next Update is April 2009 Update Newsletter

The Law of Attraction - Misunderstood & Misinterpreted and The Metaphysics of Emotions - emotional energy is real

Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light Book 2: A Dysfunctional Relationship with Life, Attack on America: A Spiritual Healing Perspective & Call for Higher Consciousness, The True Nature of Love series of articles, and the article My Spiritual Belief System and the New Millennium can be found in Dancing in Light a subscription are of the Joy2MeU web site.  Quotes from the Dance of Wounded Souls Trilogy and the journal of my personal recovery can be found in another subscription area The Joy2MeU Journal

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Darien on 4th Birthday.