Joy to You &
Me and
Joy2MeU Update
| Hello
Magnificently
Beautiful Spiritual Being,
So, here it is almost the end of August, and I am up in
the middle of
the night trying to get my second Update for 2007 finished before the
end
of the month. This Update was actually due around June - and I
made
an attempt to get back into my writing at that time, but it just wasn't
working.
This is probably going to be one of the shortest Updates
I have written
since I started posting these Update Newsletters as pages on my web
site.
(The first time I posted the Update rather than e-mailing it out was October
2000 - which also happens to probably be the single most important
one in relationship to my personal process, it is the one that really
spurred
my fear of intimacy processing.) Life continues to be hectic (aka
a full and rich adventure;-), and I will talk briefly about that in the
Newsletter section below - but first the news of Joy2MeU & Joy to
You
& Me.
The Intensives continue to be a very rewarding
experience whether there
are only a few people (3 has been the smallest) or an almost full house
(13 has been the largest since we moved down here to San Diego.)
I really like doing them with groups of this size (well, 3 was a bit
too
small.) It makes it a much more personally intimate experience,
and
helps people feel more comfortable with asking questions than a large
groups.
One of the interesting aspects of them is that I
regularly have more
people from out of state than from here in San Diego. The one
scheduled
for this coming Saturday (Sept. 1st) already has people coming from
North
Carolina, Georgia (2 separate people), Alabama, Oregon, Arizona, and
Alberta
Canada. Part of the reason for that, is that I had not really
been
able to do any local advertising - so people are still finding out
about
them through the web site. One person from out of state, who has
attended the Intensives twice already and plans to come again, did
donate
some money to do some local advertising recently. Hopefully the
ways
in which I have decided to use that will reap benefits and increase
attendance
for the Intensives scheduled for the rest of this year. (September
30th, November 4, December 8th & January 5th)
I am also hoping to be able to record - both audio and
visual - an Intensive
before too long. I would love to come up with both a DVD and CD
set
of the workshops. One project that is definitely going forward at
this time is the making of a new fully produced CD of the audio version
of Codependence:
The Dance of Wounded Souls.
The CDs that I have had available - although I don't
have them available
for sale at the moment because my stock is depleted - are a "work in
progress"
version, as is explained on my CD
page.
I had mentioned in my November Update, that we were
talking about recording
some other material on my site.
"And hopefully I will be able to start 2007
with some exciting
announcements about not only the emotional processing groups I hope to
be starting - but also with news of some new CDs I hope to be
offering.
In conjunction with the person who made the CD version of Codependence:
The Dance of Wounded Souls possible, we are going to be recording some
of the material on my site in audio form. As usual, More Will Be
Revealed." - November
2006 Update
Unfortunately, it hasn't been possible to do any other recordings as
yet
- and now, we have decided that the first project needs to be a fully
produced,
professionally packaged version of the audio recording of the
book.
As I mention on the CD page, one of the challenges with making a CD set
out of the audio recording is it's length.
"One of the challenges of getting the audio
version in CD form
has been the length of the recording. It runs a little over 4
hours
- which with CDs of 80 minutes capacity makes it necessary to use 4 CDs
to duplicate the cassette tape version. That meant, that either
we
would have 3 full CDs and one with less than 10 minutes on it - or that
we go back into the studio and add extra material by recording enough
to
make the 4th CD of reasonable length. The cost of doing that -
plus
the cost of producing and packaging the CDs - has been what has kept me
from getting it done for years." - CD
version of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
So, we are going to record an introduction, and some additional
information
to add to the end of the audio version of the book, to make it a 4 CD
package.
I will probably be adding some information about the grief process to
the
end of the recording, because that is something that many people have
asked
for more information on
We are hoping that we can get this done by the Holiday
Season - so more
will be revealed about whether that will work out. But it is
important
to me to have an audio version of the book available, and it looks like
I am going to have to discontinue offering the audio cassettes for the
very reason that it was challenging to do the CDs - the length.
As
the world switches from cassettes to CDs, it has evolved that
manufacturers
are no longer making the 100 minute audio tapes that are needed for the
recording.*** So, sadly I will
probably
have to discontinue those cassettes because the only way that more
tapes
can be had is to order a very large quantity - something that doesn't
make
sense financially for the studio that has been duplicating them for me
100 sets at a time, and certainly isn't in my budget at this
time.
It is possible that in the very near future I will not be able to offer
the cassettes or CDs for sale online any more - until the new version
is
available. (There is a problem with getting very many copies of
the
work in progress CDs - so I may end up withholding the last of the
cassettes
and the CDs and making them available only at my Intensives.)
Plans are moving forward at this time, for another trip
to Ibiza.
It looks possible that I will be doing one of my day long Intensives,
plus
a day long workshop on boundaries for the people that attended the 2
day
retreat I did in Ibiza a little over 2 years ago. That will
probably
happen in early March. There are no other plans in the works at
this
time for appearances anywhere else but here in San Diego.
I had 2 successful inner
child healing grief groups in March and April, but have been
unsuccessful since then in getting more going because I haven't had
that
many local people attending the Intensives. Hopefully the local
advertising
that I have going this fall will make it possible to get some more
groups
going by October.
I added a few articles to the site that have not been on
it previously
- listed in the right hand column - but I have not had much time to
devote
to the site. Which brings me to the personal news in the
Newsletter
section of the site.
|
Additions to the web site since the March
2007 Update include:
The addendum to the March 2007
Update that I promised: My
Fear of Intimacy processing page
Three articles from a Suite101
series on Fear
of Intimacy:
Part
1 The Gatekeeper, Codependent Defenses
Part
2 disassociation vs healthy detachment
Codependent Defenses - Part
3 My Gatekeeper
I also added a column not available on the site to an
already existing
page: Self-Worth - ego
strength
verses True self worth
News:
Updates to the Intensive
Testimonial page have been added after each Intensive
And the announcement that Intensive
Training Days are scheduled for San Diego on September 30th,
November
4, December 8th 2007 & January 5th 2008
In addition:
A new batch of wonderful Testimonials
for the book, tapes, and web site.
Had several successful inner
child healing grief groups and hope to get some more
organized
this fall.
Links to past Update Newsletters for
the Joy2MeU
site (launched February 4, 1999) can be found on the Information
index page. - and also at the bottom of the site
index page. Links to the Newsletters of my original Joy to
You
& Me web site (launched February 28, 1998) can be found on the Joy
to You & Me page which list pages from that site not moved to
Joy2MeU.
|
***The
following is
an excerpt from a message sent to my new e-mailing list on Yahoo - for
people who want more frequent updates on what is happening with me and
Joy2Meu. To sign up go to Joy_2_Me_U
on Yahoo.
"I found out that I had
misstated the
problem in that Update. The cassette tapes that we used are actually
120
minute tapes - and it is not that they are not available any more, it
is
the cost of getting a supply of them that is the problem. The
recording
studio where we edited them was reproducing a 100 sets at a time for me
ran out of the supply of tapes they had in stock. And when they ran out
of stock it was not worth it to them to reorder because they would need
to order a large number (I think a 1500 is about the minimum that their
supplier required) - and they don't have that much call for the
cassettes
any more. I was having trouble paying for the 100 at a time in a
timely manner, so they knew I couldn't afford to order the large number.
I am told that cassettes are a thing
of the past
and that it is more important to focus on CDs (even though they are
becoming
a thing of the past I am told) - but it was sad taking the option of
ordering
tapes off of my ordering pages. All the hours I invested in
getting
those tapes recorded (in a bedroom with mattresses lining the walls to
soundproof) and editing them and all - and now I can no longer make
them
available. Some grief there for me. I am hoping that some
abundance
will manifest to make it possible to make them available again - but
truthfully
they are so far down on the priority list (behind rent and utilities
and
the new CDs and Darien's teeth and our car situation, etc.) that I
don't
see that happening unless I win the lottery or something. I am
sure
that a perfect plan is unfolding and I can accept it if that plan
doesn't
include having the tapes available again - but it is sad." - Joy_2_Me_U
message 10/29/07
Newsletter
My life is still pretty much centered and scheduled around
taking care
of Darien, who is now closer to 2 years and 10 months, than 2 years 9
months.
For those of you who are new to my mailing list, Darien is my step
grand-son
and God-son.
"Being a primary caregiver to Darien - who will be 2
on the
10th (probably a few days before I get this published) - continues to
be
one of the great miracles and surprises of my recovery. Never
could
I have imagined being in the position of taking care of a baby at this
stage in my life and recovery. The Joy and wonder of watching
this
precocious, precious little man grow up from the tiny baby I first met
in March of 2005, to revealing himself to be a uniquely charming and
delightful
character who captures the heart of anyone who gets to experience his
personality,
fills my heart to overflowing with such Joy and contentment.
There
are times: when he is laying with his head on my chest gazing
into
my eyes; or when he curls up in my arms with his head laid on my
shoulders; or when he burrows in beside me when he is sleeping
with
us; or just listening to him jabber or watching him run and play
- moments that I feel a sense of Blissful Love that is sublimely
exquisite.
Such a gift!
It brings to mind once again something I have shared in past
Updates
- that GRATEFUL is not nearly a huge enough word to describe my
feelings
about what a gift my recovery has been to me. It is not a big
enough
word to describe how grateful I am for having the courage to work
through
my fear of intimacy issues to the point where I was willing to
surrender
to getting into a relationship with Susan, or to describe what I feel
about
all the richness and abundance of Joy and Life this relationship with
her
has brought into my recovery adventure - which includes, of course, my
precious step grand-son, God-son, Darien. I am very, very, very,
grateful that I am having the opportunity to experience this special
little
man in my life." - November
2006 Update Newsletter
Susan and I have now been his full time caretakers and guardians since
April 2006 - the very weekend we did the first Intensive in San
Francisco.
In late April or early May this year I had one of those light bulb
going
on / aha kind of moments of insight where I realized that Darien and I
had a soul contract. That our souls had agreed to meet up at a
certain
point in this lifetime to be teachers and helpers to each other on our
Spiritual Paths. Despite the powerful connection I feel to him -
and that he obviously feels to me - this had never occurred to me
before.
When I mentioned my insight to Susan, she kind of looked at me funny
and
said something like, "Well duh, of course. You didn't know that?"
In that quote from my November 2006 Update, I mention working
through
my fear of intimacy issues. As any of you who read my March
2007 Update know, I realized early this year that I had some more
processing
to do about my fear of intimacy. I started in that Update, and
then
continued in an addendum to the March Update that I posted in April My
Fear of Intimacy processing page. I have at least one, and
probably
two more pages to go with that processing - but just have not found the
time and energy to do it.
"In the years when I wrote so much of the material
that is
on my site - the years that I was living alone in relative isolation -
I
would get up at 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning to write until 10 or
11.
Now that I have a family - and a 2 year old to take care of - the early
morning hours are the only time I have to really write. But I
only
have uninterrupted time until about 6:30 or 7 when the baby wakes up,
and
then I need to start getting Darien ready to go to the Montessori
school
he has been attending." - March 2007
Update
I am hoping to jump back into that processing once I get this Update
posted
and the e-mail announcement sent out - but there is an element of sleep
deprivation that comes into play in my trying to get too much writing
done.
It is my goal to try to get back to that processing soon.
It is actually quite challenging most weeks just to find time
to answer
e-mails. It can now take more than a week to answer the e-mails
that
I get from people who are in crisis or have just discovered my site -
and
several weeks for long or complicated ones. The time challenge
was
also a factor in getting down to writing this Update - not so much in
terms
of the writing of it, as in terms of dreading the amount of time I was
going to have to put in to getting the announcement e-mails organized
and
sent out. Between the challenges presented by my aging computer
and
the reality that my Netscape e-mail program keeps losing information, I
have been seeking an easier way to keep in touch with you all.
Entering
the e-mail addresses one at a time into some other e-mail program is
not
something that I want to invest my limited time into. I had about
1500 e-mail addresses disappear one day this year however - so
something
needs to be done. (I am able to still send the announcement to
those
"lost" addresses by moving the last announcement from my "sent" file to
my "drafts" file - but that means that I end up sending e-mails out to
dozens of addresses that are no longer good, that I had removed from
the
files, and that I end up sending them to the few people that have asked
to be removed again. Thus the apology I am including at the end
of
the announcement.
I have decided to test out one of the alternatives I have
explored -
that is a mailing list through Yahoo groups. It is one of the few
online services that will allow one to do mailings without a
charge.
It is actually a service that can be used to facilitate contact between
members of the group if I were to choose to do that (something I tried
years ago and discontinued because it was taking to much time) - but at
this time is set up just to be one on which I can send out
announcements.
I am including a link to let you sign up for that group (both below and
in the announcement e-mail) if you would like to get a little more
frequent
announcements - i.e. with updates about the Intensive, the CD, the
Ibiza
workshops, etc. - although I will keep using the lists I have as I am
at
least a few more times. I anticipate that the next Update will be
in November with news of the new CDs availability - one of those more
will
be revealed things.
The link I sent out in the announcement e-mail will
not work -
for reasons I won't go into. This one will work.
Click
to join
Joy_2_Me_U
|
So, that is going to be it for this Update. The adventure
continues
to be challenging and exciting. I hope you are finding lots of
Joy
in your life on a daily basis, as I am.
With
wishes of Joy to You & Me
Robert
Go to December
2007 Update
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