"The gift of touch is an incredibly wonderful
gift. One of the reasons we are here is to touch each other physically
as well as Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Touch is not bad
or shameful. Our creator did not give us sensual and sexual sensations
that feel so wonderful just to set us up to fail some perverted, sadistic
life test. Any concept of god that includes the belief that the flesh
and the Spirit cannot be integrated, that we will be punished for honoring
our powerful human desires and needs, is - in my belief - a sadly twisted,
distorted, and false concept that is reversed to the Truth of a Loving
We need to strive for balance and integration
in our relationships. We need to touch in healthy, appropriate, emotionally
honest ways - so that we can honor our human bodies and the gift that is
Making Love is a celebration and a way of honoring
the Masculine and Feminine Energy of the Universe (and the masculine and
feminine energy within no matter what genders are involved), a way of honoring
its perfect interaction and harmony. It is a blessed way of honoring
the Creative Source."
"Whenever two or more are gathered in the name of
Love and Truth, in the name of healing, there is incredible power.î
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded
Souls by Robert Burney
On one of my web pages I state that romantic relationships are the
greatest arena for Spiritual growth available to us. I believe that
this is the Truth because it is the area that is most important to us.
Recently I saw a communication from the Dalai Lama in which he stated a
very simple Truth: we all want to the same thing, to be happy and
feel Loved. I would simplify that even further to say: feeling
Loved makes us happy - so ultimately we all want the same thing, to feel
Romantic relationships are not the only type of relationships that we
can feel Loved in, of course, but they are the only relationships in which
we can completely connect with another being with all the levels of our
being: physical, emotional, mental, and Spiritual.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to connect with another
being on a physical level. A Loving God/Goddess/Great Spirit
would not give us sensual and sexual sensations that feel so wonderful
unless we were meant to enJoy them. Making Love - becoming one with
another being in the moment - is so powerful because it is symbolic of
the Highest Truth, that we are all ONE.
Being sexual with another being without connection on the other levels
however, is ultimately pretty empty and shallow - but a shadow of how glorious
the uniting can be when there is True Spiritual union, mental connection,
and emotional intimacy.
Of these levels of connection, the one that is hardest to achieve because
of the dysfunction we were raised in, is the level of emotional intimacy.
When both people in a romantic relationship are in recovery from their
emotional wounds and dysfunctional intellectual programming there is the
potential for a partnership that touches the Divine - that has moments
when the connection is nothing short of Sacred. The greatest gift
of romantic relationships is that they can help us to remember how
much we Truly are Loved - that who we are on the Highest level is LOVE.
Here is a quote from A Wedding Prayer/Meditation on Romantic Commitment
that I wrote for two friends at the beginning of this year:
"You are together because you resonate on the same wave lengths,
you fit together vibrationally, in such a way that together you form a
powerful energy field that helps both of you access the Higher Vibrational
Energy of Love, Joy, Light, and Truth - in a way that would be very difficult
for either one of you to do by yourself. You are coming together
to touch the face of God. You are uniting your energies to help you
access the Love of the Holy Mother Source Energy.
Whenever two or more are gathered. The purpose of romantic relationships
is Spiritual - and the more that we remember that who we Truly are is Spiritual
Beings having a human experience, the more we can enjoy the human part
of the interaction including the sexual coming together.
You are not the source of each other's Love. You are helping each
other to access the LOVE that is the Source."
That does not mean that it is bad or wrong if you are presently in a
relationship that does not include connection on all levels. One
of the tricky things about romantic relationships is that the only way
to really learn to do a romantic relationship in a healthy way is to be
in one. We all need time alone between relationships to process our
feelings, do our grieving, and heal our relationship with self - but ultimately,
it is only in a relationship that the buttons to our deepest wounds and
greatest fears are pushed. That is why romantic relationships are
such a great arena for Spiritual growth - because they are so personal
that they bring us face to face with our deepest wounds.
As I say repeatedly in my book and on my web site, we need to take the
shame and judgment out of our internal process and realize that we are
in boarding school being guided from lesson to lesson on our journey home
to Love - to the Divine Source of which we are all perfect parts.
Do not judge yourself for the relationship you are in - or for not being
in a relationship. Maybe the Divine Plan is for you to be in five
more relationships before you get into one that will last. Maybe
being alone in this lifetime is healing the Karma we need to heal to be
with our Twin Soul in the next lifetime. We do not, and cannot, know
what the Divine Plan is - what we can do is align ourselves with Truth
so that we can own the power to Love ourselves more, which gives us the
capacity to open up to receiving more Love from others.
The more that we awaken to the Truth that the whole purpose of life
is Spiritual - that everything and everyone in our life is a perfect part
of our Spiritual growth process - the easier it becomes to allow ourselves
to overcome our fears and take the risk (rather that means getting involved
in a relationship or leaving one that is not working) that Truly there
is a God-Force that has a Loving plan for us that is unfolding perfectly,
with no accidents, coincidences, or mistakes.
The more that we have faith in the power of LOVE, the more we are able
to take the risk of opening ourselves to Love, the more opportunities we
will have to Truly start integrating Spiritual Truth into our human experience.
Then we can have the opportunity to enJoy more fully all of the gifts of
this beautiful playground that is the illusion of human life on Earth -
including the incredible gift of being able to Touch with Love. I
am going to conclude this article with the end of my Meditation on Romantic
Commitment because I feel like it says what I am trying to communicate
"The more you do your healing and follow your Spiritual path
the more moments of each day you will have the choice to Truly be present
And in the moment you can make a choice to embrace and feel the Joy
fully and completely and with Gusto.
In any specific moment you will have the power to make a choice to feel
the Love in that moment as if you have never been hurt and as if the Love
will never go away.
Completely absolutely unconditionally with fearless abandon you can
embrace the Love and Joy in the moment.
Glory in it!
Loving is the Grandest, most sublime adventure available to us.
Lets your hearts sings together.
Let your souls soar to unimagined heights.
Wallow in the sensual pleasure of each others bodies.
Roar with the Joy of being fully alive.
Go for it!!!!"