"The gift of touch is an incredibly
wonderful gift. One of the reasons we are here is to touch each other
physically as well as Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Touch
is not bad or shameful. Our creator did not give us sensual and sexual
sensations that feel so wonderful just to set us up to fail some perverted,
sadistic life test. Any concept of god that includes the belief that
the flesh and the Spirit cannot be integrated, that we will be punished for
honoring our powerful human desires and needs, is - in my belief - a sadly
twisted, distorted, and false concept that is reversed to the Truth of a Loving
We need to strive for balance and integration
in our relationships. We need to touch in healthy, appropriate, emotionally
honest ways - so that we can honor our human bodies and the gift that is
Making Love is a celebration and a way of
honoring the Masculine and Feminine Energy of the Universe (and the masculine
and feminine energy within no matter what genders are involved), a way of
honoring its perfect interaction and harmony. It is a blessed way of
honoring the Creative Source."
"Whenever two or more are gathered in the name of
Love and Truth, in the name of healing, there is incredible power.”
Codependence: The Dance of
Wounded Souls by Robert Burney
On one of my web pages I state that romantic relationships are the greatest
arena for Spiritual growth available to us. I believe that this is the
Truth because it is the area that is most important to us. Recently
I saw a communication from the Dalai Lama in which he stated a very simple
Truth: we all want to the same thing, to be happy and feel Loved.
I would simplify that even further to say: feeling Loved makes us happy
- so ultimately we all want the same thing, to feel Loved.
Romantic relationships are not the only type of relationships that
we can feel Loved in, of course, but they are the only relationships in which
we can completely connect with another being with all the levels of our being:
physical, emotional, mental, and Spiritual.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to connect with
another being on a physical level. A Loving God/Goddess/Great
Spirit would not give us sensual and sexual sensations that feel so wonderful
unless we were meant to enJoy them. Making Love - becoming one with
another being in the moment - is so powerful because it is symbolic of the
Highest Truth, that we are all ONE.
Being sexual with another being without connection on the other
levels however, is ultimately pretty empty and shallow - but a shadow of how
glorious the uniting can be when there is True Spiritual union, mental connection,
and emotional intimacy.
Of these levels of connection, the one that is hardest to achieve
because of the dysfunction we were raised in, is the level of emotional intimacy.
When both people in a romantic relationship are in recovery from
their emotional wounds and dysfunctional intellectual programming there is
the potential for a partnership that touches the Divine - that has moments
when the connection is nothing short of Sacred. The greatest gift
of romantic relationships is that they can help us to remember how
much we Truly are Loved - that who we are on the Highest level is LOVE.
Here is a quote from A Wedding Prayer/Meditation on Romantic Commitment that
I wrote for two friends at the beginning of this year:
"You are together because you resonate on the same wave
lengths, you fit together vibrationally, in such a way that together you form
a powerful energy field that helps both of you access the Higher Vibrational
Energy of Love, Joy, Light, and Truth - in a way that would be very difficult
for either one of you to do by yourself. You are coming together to
touch the face of God. You are uniting your energies to help you access
the Love of the Holy Mother Source Energy.
Whenever two or more are gathered. The purpose of romantic relationships
is Spiritual - and the more that we remember that who we Truly are is Spiritual
Beings having a human experience, the more we can enjoy the human part of
the interaction including the sexual coming together.
You are not the source of each other's Love. You are helping
each other to access the LOVE that is the Source."
That does not mean that it is bad or wrong if you are presently
in a relationship that does not include connection on all levels. One
of the tricky things about romantic relationships is that the only way to
really learn to do a romantic relationship in a healthy way is to be in one.
We all need time alone between relationships to process our feelings, do our
grieving, and heal our relationship with self - but ultimately, it is only
in a relationship that the buttons to our deepest wounds and greatest fears
are pushed. That is why romantic relationships are such a great arena
for Spiritual growth - because they are so personal that they bring us face
to face with our deepest wounds.
As I say repeatedly in my book and on my web site, we need to take
the shame and judgment out of our internal process and realize that we are
in boarding school being guided from lesson to lesson on our journey home
to Love - to the Divine Source of which we are all perfect parts. Do
not judge yourself for the relationship you are in - or for not being in a
relationship. Maybe the Divine Plan is for you to be in five more relationships
before you get into one that will last. Maybe being alone in this lifetime
is healing the Karma we need to heal to be with our Twin Soul in the next
lifetime. We do not, and cannot, know what the Divine Plan is - what
we can do is align ourselves with Truth so that we can own the power to Love
ourselves more, which gives us the capacity to open up to receiving more
Love from others.
The more that we awaken to the Truth that the whole purpose of
life is Spiritual - that everything and everyone in our life is a perfect
part of our Spiritual growth process - the easier it becomes to allow ourselves
to overcome our fears and take the risk (rather that means getting involved
in a relationship or leaving one that is not working) that Truly there is
a God-Force that has a Loving plan for us that is unfolding perfectly, with
no accidents, coincidences, or mistakes.
The more that we have faith in the power of LOVE, the more we are
able to take the risk of opening ourselves to Love, the more opportunities
we will have to Truly start integrating Spiritual Truth into our human experience.
Then we can have the opportunity to enJoy more fully all of the gifts of
this beautiful playground that is the illusion of human life on Earth - including
the incredible gift of being able to Touch with Love. I am going to
conclude this article with the end of my Meditation on Romantic Commitment
because I feel like it says what I am trying to communicate very well.
"The more you do your healing and follow your Spiritual
path the more moments of each day you will have the choice to Truly be present
And in the moment you can make a choice to embrace and feel the
Joy fully and completely and with Gusto.
In any specific moment you will have the power to make a choice
to feel the Love in that moment as if you have never been hurt and as if the
Love will never go away.
Completely absolutely unconditionally with fearless abandon you
can embrace the Love and Joy in the moment.
Glory in it!
Loving is the Grandest, most sublime adventure available to us.
Lets your hearts sings together.
Let your souls soar to unimagined heights.
Wallow in the sensual pleasure of each others bodies.
Roar with the Joy of being fully alive.
Go for it!!!!"