Testimonials for Joy to You and Me & Joy2MeU - the Web Sites of Robert Burney

This page contains some of the beautiful and heart warming testimonials that I have received for my web sites Joy2MeU and Joy to You & Me.  As you can tell by the dates that they came in, there are gaps in the time periods.  That isn't because I didn't receive testimonials during those times - it is just because I haven't harvested them from the many e-mails I get. In the beginning of 1999, I picked out a few that had come in to use on my home page.  Then was moved to collect more when a significant number were received in a short period of time.  It is only in the last 4 months that I have collected them regularly - and then, these are not all of them even from those time periods.  I could go back in my e-mail files and collect more, but I really don't see any point - and sure don't have the time.

I had not really anticipated having a page just for testimonials until just recently.  With the complete redesign I have just completed of my Joy2MeU site, having a testimonial page fit in with the overall concept of the design - so voila, here is this page.  As I was getting ready to put this page together, on the evening of January 30th 2000, I got an e-mail that included a link to someone's else site with a testimonial to my site.  Since I do not believe there are any accidents or coincidences, it seemed only appropriate that I include that link here.  The site is Dr. Irene's and it is a really wonderful site.  Her focus is on abusive relationships and she is really wonderful in her approach to the dynamics of both the abuser and the victim.  Here is the link to the testimonial on her site that includes a testimonial to my site.  Check it out http://www.drirene.com/words_of_appreciation.htm along with the rest of her site. ~ Robert
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The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprises.

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Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book

The Dance of Wounded Souls.
Joyously inspirational Spiritual book - Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls


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(January 14, 2006)
Subject of e-mail: "I asked for your help back in 1998"
"I'll never forget the time I mailed a e-mail to you and a response came back.  I remember asking about how come I could not be in a relationship that worked. We discussed co-dependancy and interdependancy.  You suggested that I keep trying, not to give up.  Keep practicing. I would bound to find a healthy one adventually. Hee hee hee......... Reguardless of how it did or didn't work out.  I'm greatful.
    I today  I work a 12 step program.  I've been clean and sober now for over two years.  Even after the time  I coresponded with you in the e-mails, I never forgot what you said. I kept searching.  Kept trying.   Every relationship after did not work out.  I am so ok with  today. It worked out just how It was suppose to work out.    I offer my experience, strenghth and hope to others.  Things were not going to change for me untill I learned to change. How do I do that?!!!!!!!!!  Wow, it is possible to change or beliefs, and how we look at life.  Gosh, I was so self centered, self seaking.  I know why today.  "I JUST DIDN'T KNOW I COULD CHANGE"  I WAS MY PROBLEM...
  I live a very healthy, loving, caring and very full life today.  I've actually held the same job for almost 5 years now. Where at one time I never lasted more tha two years in one place.
  I had to search all thoughs years, go through all of that, to be where I am today.  You are a part of my history, a part of my searching.  You were there to listen, and you gave me your oppinion and gave me suggestions.  I thank you.  I even brought your name up at a meeting one night. Told them we discussed codependancy's ect. Yeah, I wanted to save the world when I couldn't even save myself.  By searching and never giving up, I found what I was looking for.   Whew... sure glad I'm patient.  The last time I saw a counciler in a real life meeting was over two years ago, I told her she couldn't help me, I had found what I needed.  Funny, these last two years she had nothing to do with my recovery.  She watched me go through changes though (small town 5000 people).  She kept suggesting we hook up for coffee.  We  are now friends.  Wow, have I ever grown since I wrote you back in 98.  She just asked me the other day if I would be interested in being trained to be a youth counsilor ( gee I really need to learn how to spell) for a government funded program here in town.  I always talked about  the " ONE DAY " I will work with kids, work with teens that have lost their way. Maybe a youth center or something.  The last two years, same dreams... one day, one day ,,,,,,, God put this oppertunity before me for a reason.  I can't not try.  I would never be able to live with regrets knowing that I didnt' adleast try.  So, I'm going to do this. I'm going to try to train as a youth councilor.  I would never be able to look back at this oppertunity and say " I SHOULD HAVE TRIED " in two years, I can look back and say, I'm glad I tried, glad I experienced it all, even if things don't work out.  It might shoot me into the direction of my purpous here.  This women I befriended says I have a gift, and to share it I will.  Just as you did with me years ago.  Thank You!! Robert Burney"

"I want to thank you for the great website that you have online. I have been reading it for a few weeks now."

"your website helped me.  I've been in recovery for 12 years.  I recently "lost" my husband and 21 year old daughter to drug addiction.  The husband got addicted to Oxycontin in 2001 and the child has been addicted to drugs and drama since she was 14.  I divorced my husband this year after telling him I could no longer enable his unhealthy behavior.  I have not seen my daughter in a year for the same reason and he has been giving her lots of money in order to keep us apart.  As part of my Tough Love program, my bottom line is that I won't give her money as long as she is using.  I have been going to meeting and my Tough Love International parenting group for many years.  Your website truly helped me connect to some of the ideas that when I changed for the better, my loved ones didn't.  I wanted to die on Sunday - I lined up sleeping pills and looked at them, thinking that I could just get over the pain of having my life shattered this year.  Fortunately, I got on your website and found out that it was my co-dependence talking, not my spirit.  I flushed the pills, called my sponsor and feel as if I have turned the corner.  I ordered your book and have printed out most of the stuff on your website.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"I happened upon your sight when I was searching for information on boundaries. Your writing has really resonated with me and so I have ordered your book."

"I find your work is so Creative and unique , I think you are a great inspired one rather than scientific one, as what you show in your articles is already in scientific form but the effective perspective is the inspiration that created it and also is emitted from it to the soul of the reader."

"I felt I compelled to write you and tell you how helpful and empowering your words have been. I have never been in a healthy romantic relationship. Iím a 44 year old male. I have struggled through a 15 year marriage that ended in Divorce. I have an 11 year old son who I fear would end up going from relationship to relationship just as I have. Thankfully I discovered your Website after searching the internet while at work for information dealing with emotional healing. Since going through a messy divorce I have been in 2 other relationships. The first ended in Friendship the most recent has ended suddenly for reasons unknown to me. The person just closed the door without explanation. That is what led me to seek advice and to start healing myself. I do not like medications and every doctor I have seen tried to tell me I was depressed. Not a single one of them mentioned Co Dependency or The Need to Heal My Inner Child. A Recovery Counselor recommend the 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I found the book very enlightening but did not explain in depth how to heal my inner child problems. Your book and your website has taken me directly to the true source of my problems. As soon as I started reading your material on the website I could feel the anxiety that had been emotionally destroying my life begin to leave. I ordered your book and paid more for the 1 day shipping than I did for the book. I was willing to do that because my mind needed the information and my body was not willing to wait. Iím not yet were I want and need to be, but I am on my way Thanks to You and I want to Thank You from the bottom of my heart for sharing your message so freely with the world. I am certain the planet would and will be better place because you took the time to share your life, story and findings with us. I am also certain that my son will benefit because of my healing and the way I now perceive life and relationships. God has a special place for people like you because you have helped so many of his children."

"Wanted to let you know that I have read your book and it is wonderful.  Loved the guilt-free yet direct approach to such a hard issue.  Have ordered several more copies for my family."

"just listened to the 2nd side of the 2nd tape, I didn't want it to end, My spirit was singing, through the dull pain in my chest of the inner-child, I am just going to keep listening to it! I have been the calmest tonight for a long time, and like you say, I have chosen this path so there is no need to worry, I do understand about GOD being always on HIS time, but his watch is not set to the same time zone as mine, well I could go on! just want to thank you!"

"Thank you for these articles you have written for the internet.  I came accross them at the right time I think.  I think they are going to be very helpful to me.  Thanks and God Bless."

"I think your work is incredible and extremely important information to human beings."

"It means so much to feel that you are part of some web of understanding when the events of your life have been so crazy-making.  My synthesis of all this history and work is that we must fill and drink from our own wells.  I often think that the Black Hole of my depression, grief and despair over the events of my childhood and young adulthood has become that well, that I have done the work to fill it (no one else can!), that it is the most delicious elixir in the world.  I also feel that we can share refreshment with others who have also a full, fresh well.  It's rare that I meet such a person, but I am always looking and hoping.  It is much more common to find those who would drink your well dry.  The spirituality that is involved in this process is the keystone - and the curiosity - to me.  Oh I have many thoughts...  But a life without thought would be no life at all, n'est ce pas?

Thank you for your response.  I did not anticipate that and it was not necessary, but it was very affirming.  And thank you for sharing so freely of your work on your website.  It had a terrific impact on me and I will likely buy a few more copies of your book to share with loved ones."

"I felt compelled to send thanks to you.  I just happened upon your site and your words and it was such a GOOD THING to hear you describe the dynamics of addictive relationship in my very words! . . Just thank you for "appearing" in my world today."

"Robert  With such tenderness, you share....Thank you!"

"I think you have done an excellent job of helping people see the true nature of our dis-eases. I celebrate my sobriety Jan. 20 with 17 years (if I make it).  I came here to this country for several reasons, but after we got here, I found out in the city I live of 5 million people, not one AA meeting.  Well, got started on starting one!  My CHinese is not good enough to do the all CHinese yet, but hopefuly will eventually be high enough to accomplish this.  Truly amazed.  I stand in awe.  That He could ever take a wounded little girl, so addicted to men and alcohol, and transform her into a confident, full of life, lady, flowing to the cup with love, joy and gratitude, and place her here to serve Him. Truly amazing.  The steps are well worth the pain.  The freedom is incredible. I have to describe it as the  12 steps opening the prison doors of our life, but we must have the courage to walk out the door into the sunshine, yet unfamiliar, leaving the prison of familiarity and darkness behind.  Would you consider having your book translated into Chinese?  Your book is INCREDIBLY needed in this culture. Keep up the writing, and growing that goes along with it!"

"Hi Robert, Just wanted to say I enjoyed THE DANCE OF THE WOUNDED SOULS, and have started to read it again. . . I have always felt that there was something wrong with me, always an outsider,but as approach my 40th birthday I  had this feeling that something needed to change and by luck or chance I came across your web site and got the book. . . Reading your book is like having the light switched on, I think I would really like to know who I really am because to be honest I don't know."

" Your work is important.  I am so grateful for Spirit's healing pressence.  Thanks again."

"I came across your site only a few months ago and resonated in a very deep way. . . reading your words has - and continues to have - given me hugely improved understanding of the processes involved.  Grateful. Totally. For your part - thank you!"

"I write to tell you how much I am inspired, reminded and affirmed through your writing.  Since receiving your book I feel like I have been reunited with a friend. I'm hearing Truths of Spirit spoken so eloquently and clearly through your words.  I know we have shared many tools of enlightenment on this journey, I hear it in your Truth.  I acknowledge your work, your gift and your Spirit.  With the deepest respect and gratitude for All We Are Eternally"

"I am very impressed by what I have already read on your website about co-dependency, and am looking forward with anticipation to hearing the tapes of your book."

"I just wanted to say that the information on your site about co-dependence and the dysfunctional relationship with self has been like a sledgehammer of enlightenment to me. . . This dysfunctional relationship with myself. Feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, is I am convinced what drove me to alcohol in the first place. It was only with a few drinks I felt like other people did.   What you wrote about the co-dependent personality reflects me exactly. At least now I feel there is a reason for how I feel. Thank you for such wonderful insights."

"I am writing you because I found your Web site and have been reading it extensively. I want to thank you from the depths of my heart & Soul for sharing so openly & honestly & for giving me a sign of hope for myself. . . I still wanted to thank you so much for having enough compassion for those who still suffer to have put up such a wonderful site."

"I stumbled across your web site and I must say you have inspired me quite some to-day"

"I want to thank you for your web site. . . Your site has helped me to understand some of what he is going through.  I am so grateful for his desire to grow, and grateful that he was brave enough to include me in his path.  I read your articles with interest, for I do not want to be a "button pusher" and want to make sure that our friendship is not one where I am encouraging and reinforcing old patterns for him, and VICE VERSA.  That is my journey, too, as you have made me acutely aware of so many important relationship issues."

"thank you for your articles they have been very helpful and informational."

"It has been awhile since I visited your site.  Too long, in fact! . . . . Your book, CoDependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls still remains with me (inside); not just on a book shelf."


"I have previously heard good things mentioned about your book through a close friend. They have not read the book either but have also heard good things. I was in a bad place for many years and after coming across your web site and reading much of it, a sort of awakening took place inside of me and I have felt better than I have in a long time. . .  By the way, your views on the applicability to spirituality, human behavior and how people of all religious or non-religious backgrounds can gain insight is refreshing. "

"I have read almost everything you have on your website and passed it on to several of my friends as I finish each article so perhaps you will have a few more orders for your book from this part of the woods (a little north of Sydney). We have all learnt a great deal from the snippets we have read.  I have had profound changes in my life already, choosing to go to church for the first time in my life and choosing to leave behind me an 'on again/off again romantic relationship', a relationship which has never been very satisfying - for the first time since my divorce 5 years ago I feel I don't 'need' a romantic relationship to make me whole. I am also addressing my weight problem with new avengence.  My relationship with my children is steadily improving and I am learning to love myself in lots of different ways.  Setting boundaries has been a major issue for me in almost all areas of my life for many years but now am able to set little ones which is better than none at all,. Your reference to "coming home" and "boarding school" have great significance to me as I did go to boarding school and have a number of issues relating to 'going home' including obsessive behaviour whenever I have to fly  (I lived in Fiji until I was 18 going to boarding school in Australia as a 13 year old and only going home twice a year for the next 5 years) many thanks for your wonderful insights into co-dependant behaviour - I knew I was codependant 7 years ago after reading Melodie Beattie's book, 'Codependant No More' and paying out hundreds of dollars in self help programs and books however it is your book which has had the biggest impact on my life.  I wish you a very happy and successful 2006, may your sales soar!!!!!!!!!!"

"Just a quick note to let you know how much I am enjoying your tapes and book, "Dance of the Wounded Souls".  That is, if you enjoy the acknowledgement of humaness.  Fourteen years sober thinking, "Wow, would have thought it would have been better than this by now."  Thanks for the reminder that we are all exactly where we are suppose to be at any given point in time...and that I need to look at my own issues if I'm thinking my whole family has gone to hell in a handbasket."

"Reading your site now, Your many peoples hero.. if you saved just one of us your job is done.  THANK YOU!! "

"I saw my patterns of picking men that couldnt commit that I knew would hurt me then I found your site today and I can read and understand myself for the first time,  thankyou .. from this I can find peace within myself and move forward and continue to learn and grow into a better person.."

"your work is with depth and weight and so very much appreciated.  Healing is a trip."

"I just wanted to take the time and thank you for all of the writing you have done on your website about inner child healing and co-dependency.  When I first began reading your articles, I felt as though you were speaking directly to me.  I guess that is what happens when you share life altering experiences that touch the souls of so many of us out there who struggled and battled the same fight.  I have begun putting all of your articles in a large 3-ring notebook and organizing them by category.  I cannot tell you how wonderful and inspiring they have been to me and I so very grateful for you and all you have experienced that allowed you to share the vulnerable part of you with so many of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

"I just wanted to "Thank You" for sending out your book to me so quickly. I am really enjoying it. I am getting so much out of it; it is helping me so much. I am so grateful. Your book is a God-send. I have told so many people about your book and your website."

"i have read excerpts of the book and find it utmost interestant, relevant and enlightening. i sometimes feel that every singel sentence holds a treasure of information - every sentence hits me right on the head. where psychology ends - spirituality begins.  i found you on the internet thru google... many thx for doing what you do."

"I have just come upon your website and wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying it. . . Thank you for this wonderful site."

" I read through your web pages and it reminded me of so much that I have heard but it put it all together. I enjoyed what I read heaps."

"The material on the website is excellent.  I did a websearch under the words "ego defences' and came upon your wonderful website.  It is what I need right now and I'm so thankful to have come across it. It has already enriched my life and given me spiritual sustenance. I'm telling everyone I know about it.  Thank you so much."

"I found your web site completely by accident and I am praising God that I did.  It feels like every word on these pages was written specifically for me.  Thank you for putting it online for me (and others like me) to find."

"Your website is truly fascinating."

"Approximately 3 weeks ago I finally hit pay dirt. I typed in the term " EMOTIONAL HEALING " on a search engine and it responded with many pertinent website results, several of which were titled " CODEPENDENCE ". I had never heard of it before and had no clue what it was. Then when I started reading all the presented information, it was as if though a light turned on in my head. At that point it became quite obvious that I discovered an astonishing revelation and suddenly realized and thought to myself, " SO THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME ". It was almost as though someone wrote a story about my life.  Granted, that discovery was not a cure by any magnitude of the imagination. However, it was a profound relief for me to now know that I finally found the answer. I have mysteriously suffered and agonized all my life because of this tragic & dreadful disorder known as Codependence. At least now I no longer have to wander and search aimlessly. I have a purposeful direction to go in that won't leave me feeling lost & hopeless anymore. I owe much of that credit to you and your website. Thank you for the long over due awakening."

"I've recently discovered your website and I wanted to let you know how useful I am finding it and how enlightening it is. "

"ive been reading your website for over the last 6 months, and im completely connected to it.i always go back to read more and more, and each time i get something different from it."

"I have reviewed some, not all, of your info on your website.  Again, I say Wow!  Your info is helping me to better understand the process of healing from codependency.  To say it is a process is almost an understatement. . . Thank you SO much for your information!  Keep up the good work! "

"I have been visiting your website, &  really fascinated w/ your work & deep knowledge about the Codependency/ inner childhood issue.  I'm presently reading  your book (The dance of the Wounded Souls). I admire your dedication, & appreciate the knowledge that i'm getting from it"

"Hi Robert, a friend of mine recommended your website to me which IS FABULOUS!!!  Thank you for all the amazing information."

"Hello Robert Burney.  I am currently reading your webpages on codependency.  So much of it resonates with me.  I've only been reading for a day or two now, and coincidentally enough, I saw that you have been clean and sober since Jan. 3rd, 22 years ago.  Well, here's hoping that you are still there! Good luck with your writings and with reaching people just like myself.  Thanks for writing things down and sharing them with the public." (I did celebrate 22 years clean and sober on January 3rd 2006.)

"Dear Robert, I dont know if you got my other e-mail, so I am e-mailing you again. I found your website 3 days ago and I can not take my eyes away from it. It is everything I have been looking for. I called 2 Barnes and Noble stores yesterday to see if they had "the dance of wounded souls" but both stores did not have it. I am so excited about your website and the work you have done. I want to thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge with me and so many others. I feel I have been blessed to have found your website. I would like to be on your e-mail list. Anyway God  Bless You Robert and Thanks again"
(None of the chain stores has ever stocked my book.  Barnes and Noble used to special order it but now tell people it is out of print for some reason - and I have not been able to get through their bureacracy to get them to stop that.  Borders store do special order it for people.)

These testimonials fill my heart so I thought I would use the hearts here.
August 3, 2003 - A number of the testimonials I am adding today include queries about where to find my book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls (clicking on the title link will take you to my ordering page)  In my January 2002 Update I addressed the issue of where people can find my book, because it is a pretty common for people who find the site to assume that they can go out and find my book at their local book stores.  Unfortunately that is not true in most cases. - 9-7-03 Decided to leave this here for anyone who does want to find the book.

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Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995.  Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 through 2007 by Robert Burney  PO Box 235401 Encinitas CA 92023.


More Testimonials

(November 21, 2005)
"Thanks for spreading such joy!  I always smile while reading your articles and always feel centered afterwards."

"I have been enjoying your website for some time now. Looking forward to the book as to share it with some of my closest friends.  Plus with your permission, I may use it as reference in a research project I've been considering.  In my second year of college, working toward a Phd in psychology--(returning adult student) single mom of three.  It's been quite an adventure and I don't know what I would've done without the much needed understanding I receive from your website!!  So thank YOU again for sharing!!"

"Your site is truly a God inspired gift of healing... God bless you!  Your risk to share and stay true to your self-healing journey is one of the most inspired I've yet run across. . .  Thank you for your truth, your be-ing and doing it in such a beautiful way that only you have been divinely led to do!"

"Hi my name is ______ and I'm a co-dependant, and adult child of an alcoholic, an incest and sexual molestation survivor, a survivor of physical abuse and neglect, a debtor and compulsive over spender, a woman who loves to much, an occasional over worker, and a unrecovering nicotine addict as well as black woman in America. (this is truly how I qualify in most of my meetings)  I've been doing the 12 step dance for 18 years and really appreciate your site.  I've added your site to my list of recovery favorites;  it serves as another tool in my recovery tool kit of meetings, the telephone, writing, books, therapy, prayer and meditation (and talking, talking, talking). . . . . . One of the things that struck me "true" from your site was the concept that although we are undivided and wholly connected with LOVE, that to experience love there must be the separation and returning.  For me this defuses the idea that if one is working a "good program" there are never any truly just butt awful days - in 18 years I've had less truly butt awful days but I still have them - and am so grateful when I return to a place of peace.  Thank you for creating this site and sharing your experience strength hope knowledge wisdom and human heart with me (another anonymous recoveree) via the web. "

"Thank you, and again I'd like to say what a truly beautiful man you are. You have changed my life and the lives of those around me for the better. Thank GOD for the truth and the realization of it which will forever and always set us free.  I am now free to live and love.   May God bless you"

"My name is ______. I live in Phoenix, AZ and I am originally from Minnesota. I read your book Dance of the Wounded Souls quite a few years ago. It was one of those books that called out my name in the book store. I am also a therapist and have been for 10 years. Your book talked to me. I loved it. Everything you say is exactly how I feel. I worked at The Meadows in Wickenburg (an inpatient treatment center) for 6 years. I worked with some very profound leaders in the field of codependence, Pia Mellody, Claudia Black, John Bradshaw, etc. Your book is the only one that makes perfect sense to me and it is so easy to read. . . . I think that everyone in the world needs to read your book I am your biggest advocate. I love your web site and I have told many people about it."

"Thank you so much for your book and website that are helping me to make sense of some patterns in my life.  Many Blessings to you for this important work you are doing."

"I wanted to thank you. I just read your writings about Grief, Love and fear of Intimacy and it made me cry. I caught up with the reason of the uneasiness which had grown up for a days. I get to know that I had never belonged to anywhere. It was little girl, 5-7 years old. Already behind a mask. So sad. So, this is a letter of thanks. Greetings from Finland"

"I have been testing out my long forgotten practice of prayer and in so doing, feel blessed to have found your website. How do you know my thoughts and feelings? Isn't it a strange comfort to realize that in some big ways, you are not unique?  The realtionship you describe with your parents in your Grief, Love and Fear page could have been written by me! That is when I paused to write you. I just want to say how much it means to feel so connected to my own feelings by reading someones elses. I am excited about this healing, or grief, process. Even though it'll hurt, I'm already hurting! At least this will have some productivity to it. Again, thank you for sharing as you have and I look forward to reading even more on your website and then in the book when it arrives."

"I found your website today and it has been very encouraging and interesting to read. . . . Your website alone has given me comfort and food for thought. Thank you."

"I was seeking information on setting personal boundaries and came across your website.  I have been so grateful for it.  For not only do I see some of my own co-dependent issues - it has become painfully obvious to me that his issues are way deeper than I had even imagined.  Thank you for such a wonderful tool.  I read and reread everyday things on your website.  I am going to buy your book today Dance of the Wounded Souls.  For I am finally finding the strength I need to walk away if he cannot understand my boundaries."

"Thank you for your wonderful site.  I learn something new every time I log on to it."

"Thank you for sharing your wisdom and love."

"I just wanted to say that I agree about fathers losing their ability  to have emotional availability to their daughters when they start becoming of an age to be seen as sexual creatures.  It was true for  me.  Courageous work." (This is in reference to the article Wounded Parents - the tragic legacy of dysfunctional families)

"I have read and re-read your book and I thought it was totally amazing and full of enlightenment"

"Thank you so much for this site.  For taking the time & trouble to put so much useful, relevant information together.  Reading this has given me so many more useful insights & has created better understanding of myself.  And the fact that it's written so clearly & succinctly & is not in, 'psychobabble'.  I am & have been in therapy for a number of years & am quite far along the road, but found it enriching to revisit certain processes, & reasons for doing things in much greater detail. Thank You once again"

"i have found your advice helpfull and comforting because of its practicality and applicability to my very trying early recovery."

"I am 48 years old.  I have spent my whole life trying to be perfect in order to avoid criticism.  It wasn't until my my mother (last surviving parent) died two years ago that I realized how dependent I was on her need for me to feel that I had the right to be alive.  I feel that if I don't start liking myself I may die soon.  Your web site has given me some pointers on how to change my perspective when the obsessive negative thoughts come flooding in."

"The web site is fantastic - your writing speaks directly to my soul.  I'm looking forward to reading your book and making some big changes in my life."

"Your website has helped me immensely, and it showed up at a perfect time.  Some of your key ideas (grieving past wounds, firing the judge, developing a loving and accepting relationship with the self as opposed to forcing shame-based behavior modification) were precisely what I was looking for information about.  I had the questions and you have the answers.  The funny thing is that when I stumbled into your website, I was only wondering if there was a CoDA meeting in my town anywhere.  I think I've read everything on both websites and am currently doing your "assignments for jump starting codependency recovery".  Although your writing strikes a deep chord with me, I most appreciate that every now and again you make me laugh."

"Your site is one of the best on the web. It gives so much insight. Thank you for that."

"WowÖwowÖ wow! Wonderful material!!!!! . . . . . Towards the end of the second tape I broke out into a combination of almost uncontrollable laughter and tearsÖ Looking at how my life has unfolded, especially over the last few yearsÖ and seeing through your material how life is unfolding on a global level. Simply amazing!"

"With all my Love I thank you for having your story on the web. "

"Thank-you for sharing your recovery process and feelings of codependence. I believe I am on a spiritual awakening path. Your thoughts and feelings have helped me discover myself and the boundaries I have blocking my relationship and intimacy with others. I would like to receive your email newsletter."

"I have your book and the audio tapes, Dance of the wounded souls, which are wonderfully educating to the human soul!!  I have read alot of your webpages, and went on your email list for update newsletters earlier this year. I would like to say, Thank you so much for helping me. . . .  I understand that you are devoting more well deserved and, 'meant time' in enjoying the fruits gained in your own personal life, and I am not sure whether you realise just how much you have probably helped other people to heal through your good work, but, you deserve every happiness, and I personally wish you, and your new family all the best that life can bring Robert"

"Your writings are such an inspiration to me.  I am so happy that your life is going well and things are falling into place just as they should be."

"Just wanted to thank you for the wonderful stuff you have on your site.  Very inspirational. It has helped me a lot and I forwarded it to a great number of my friends too. I just wanted to let you know that. Keep up the great work!"

"Finished reading your book.   It was really awesome reading and it made a lot of sense to me and helped me a lot, I haven't had a anxious freak out in my relationship for quit some time now, everything has been going really smooth, although sometimes it's really hard to not just have those wee freaking moments.......I find I go off on my own now when I feel that way and really focus on loving and listening to myself, I let the anger out on something else and then I feel extremely light and it's just great. I know I have a long way to go but I have started seeing some result's within myself already, thanks again Robert. "

"Hi my name is ____, I am a freshman college student and have experienced every single word on your webpage on fear of intimacy. I was perusing the internet in my dorm and stumbled upon this webpage. I can't believe how i was able to relate to what you had written down on that webpage. . . I can't explain how shocked I was when I read that webpage. I had no idea that this was actually a problem other people have had. It's good to know that I'm not the only one."

"I am a grateful memeber of AA AND CODA AND go to regular meetings and your book has given me practical insight on how to deal with inner children etc."

"I do so enjoy reading your site, it is so informative."

"I have 22 years clean and sober, worked as an addiction counselor and now have a private practice which consists mainly of women in recovery, who after years of not drinking or using, working the steps to the best of their ability, have hit that codependency wall and are now realizing the need for self acceptance and personal responsibility. . I stumbled onto your work several years ago, and really related to what you have to say"

"I just wanted to say first off that I really find your insights connect deeply within me. I really enjoy and find what you talk about relates to my life in so many ways. I wanted to express my gratitude for the work you do and to let you know it is appreciated."

"your website is SO interesting. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! i have recently started therapy for exactly what you term 'codependency', and so your insight into this subject is of great interest to me."

"I did (get copy of my book) and have almost finished it, I am really enjoying it.  It came with perfect timing (as everything always does), I have just admitted to myself that I have a drinking problem and am beginning a new exciting journey of loving and respecting myself.   Thanks so much."

"A friend of mine directed me to your siteÖ and I must say that I was quite impressed with the content. Iím a codependent, and I"ve spent hours on your siteÖ both relating with what I was reading personally, as well as seeing the role my codependent wife of 10 years played. We are separated and on the verge of divorce, as her tendency is to jump into "something else" as opposed to dealing with the issues. I don't know if I'll be able to save the marriageÖ but at least I will learn how to fix me."

"I have been on the internet often and came across your writing.  Each time something draws my attention when I'm surfing the net....its always you who wrote it. I just thought I would let you know. "

"Without a doubt, your work has helped open up a wider path on my spiritual journey, and I deep am grateful for your mission.  Since August, I followed another suggestion that you made on your web site about another book, "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie.  Another fabulous book indeed, thank you so much for guiding me to it."

"Yes, I have learned a lot from your website! You know I don't even remember how I found your website but call it Karma, luck, whatever, I know that I need it at this time in my life.  I had sort of a setback, and I was feeling depressed and thinking negative about myself, but I printed out your positive affirmations and I read those every day.  I am slowly feeling better each day.THANKS!!!"

"Hi Robert, I've just finished readin your book. Thank you for writing it and overcoming whatever challenges yu ahd to to make it available. I found it very helpful on my spiritual journey."

"I find your work very helpful.  Thank you!"

"You are so kind to personally email me. I was so surprised, although I shouldn't be because after reading so much of your work & background, I can see you are really sincerely a compassionate person. I just learned about you last week by doing a Google search. I must tell you, for the first time in my life YOU have allowed me to have insight into myself and have given me hope that I don't have to go through the rest of my life in daily agony. I will not get into "my story" right now, mainly for fear that I will blather on too long. I will just say that in reading your web site & book, I felt as though you were describing me to a T. I have never found anyone that has articulated codependency [what I'm feeling inside] as you have. All these years I just thought I'm "crazy" or suffer from depression. I do believe I am depressed, but I now believe the depression is a result of codependency . . . For the first time ever I have a spark of hope. This is because of you. I think I now know what is causing my destructive behavior. . . please know you are an inspiration to me. I am so proud of you for finding your path in life & for helping the many (thousands I'm sure) people like me & U Again, THANK YOU so much for doing what you do."

"I just surfed my way to your site, which I've been enjoying. . Thank you for your contribution to humanity"

"I ordered your book back in January and I'm only halfway through. It's tough reading. But with God's help, my life HAS CHANGED. There is some blessing in the air . . I am so grateful now for having discovered your website, realising my codependence and having the power to go on a healing journey. . . God bless you and I wish you all the freedom and happiness. I hope you know what a huge difference you are making." Budapest, Hungary

"Just wanted to note, that I do have somewhat of a basic understanding of the internal dynamics in which you believe and strongly relate to them. I read your book about a year and a half ago and found it to be the best and most helpful and healing thing I've ever come across thus far. I think your work is amazing, makes so much sense and was ecstatic and very grateful to see that you offered Telephone Counseling."

"Thank you so much for all of your extensive work. It has helped me so much, and I am very grateful!"

"I've read your web-site with much interest and the advice was extremely helpful to me in a break up with a girlfriend 4 months ago."

"I am so excited about finding your website (and your book). At the moment I am a bit overwhelmed with all the information you have but in a good way. I am looking forward to each evening when I can get back onto it and discover more. I have had so many "aha" moments already."

"I have been in recovery for gambling addiction now for nearly 12 months and my life has changed in so many ways. I am beginning to understand my purpose, I am starting to feel happiness for the first time in my life. This unfamiliar feeling has no strings attached or no conditions it fills my heart and nourishes my soul. How wonderful it is to live one day at a time without toxic fear, shame, anger and pain. When I first came across your site I was immediately attracted to your way of explaining things. To me there is no doubt that gods gift to you is that wonderful ability to put into words the things that can be very hard to understand. Not that these principles are complex in anyway, its just that for me they go against all of what I was taught and once believed in and what seemed to be hardwired in my brain. If I had read your stuff 12months ago I would have been sceptical only because I was insane like all addicts. Now to read your wonderful words and have an understanding that seems to come from more than just my thinking I am so so grateful. And I would just like you to know one more thing, you have enriched my soul and made my journey that little bit more easier."

"the things you write are absolutely incredible"

"Both my husband and I have gone to your "index" and are in the process of getting that inner child healed. Such a breath of fresh air, to both of us...offering 'hope' to us...when we were just about at the end of our rope.  We are 68 and 70 years old; married 49 years.  I appreciate all the time and effort; most of all, I appreciate the anointing that you have - to teach. Thank you, for your faithfulness."

"I have been blessed by your website . . . the messages in the postings have been incredible for me in my moment of spiritual growth.  I have been reading the entire website for a week now and every day I gain something more.  I can't seem to put it down."

"I just wanted to tell you that everytime I read something you have written, I am amazed."

"I just discovered your web site a few hours ago. Thank you for all of your honesty and heart-felt essays. And for working through these issues and sharing them so others of us who cycle around over and over again can change these patterns. I've done many many things over the years, various types of therapy, body work, etc., and find that I still get stuck when it comes to getting needy in a romantic relationship :-(. Your information will help me to change that. Thanks so much."

"I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your book, it really hit home.  I have recently lent it to a friend and she reports that she feels like she is healing after only 5 days exposure to your words."

"I ordered your book a while back, the Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.  I am reading it and it is very interesting and it is helping me a lot!"

"I bought your books and tapes, and I've been recommending them to friends. I Love your stuff!  Absolutely Love it.  It's the most complete source I've been exposed to on the issues of Inner Child, Codependence, and Adult Children (all related of course).  It's also helped me greatly in my personal life, which was somewhat of a spiral on these matters."

"I have had nothing but a great experience and inspiration come from using your site.  It's really a job well done and I have just visited it again for the 4th time todayÖ I keep coming back to it over and over and I actually took some inspiration from it when I was designing my site."

"I have found your website today and as I have started to wonder about relationships, power dynamics and not to mention many other things I have found it so interesting and helpful that I just wanted to say thank you for putting this information on the web for me people like me to find."

"I have been reading a lot of your work and am finding it very interesting some of it you could be writing about me."

"I would like to be added to your mailing list.  I ordered your book this am.  I had your wed site in my favorites and I have been asking for help and guidance and I clicked on your web site, instead of the one I thought I wanted.  I am sure spirit had a hand in this coincidence, (if you will), but I got the answers I had been looking for. I see myself and relationships in many things I have read on this site.  I am excited about this information."

"It is my aim in life to know everything, but not my expectation.  Today I found your website and I am a little closer to that goal. Thank you"

"I have just read your book and all I can say is wow! I finished it on the train and began to cry I am not sure why maybe sadness or happiness but more likely relief. I am so grateful for the wisdom that you have shared and I am very tempted to put on a pedestal and treat you like a guru. . . . Instead I will say this "thank you god for giving the love, wisdom, faith, serenity and connection to Robert so he may share it with us all."

"I have been reading your web pages, just jumping through some of the stuff I really am starting to agree with, it makes sense. thank you"

"I dont expect you to remember the detail of my email I sent you a few weeks ago, but I wanted to reply to say thank you for your response that I recieved a couple of days ago.  It has helped me rethink my future, and what might be best for me, and to forgive myself for my dysfunctional behavior, and it has eased my feelings grief to some extent.  Your response came at exactly the right time, its uncanny, it made me think about how things are meant to happen in a certain order when the time is right. (exactly on the path where we are meant to be).  You are a remarkable man, I wish I could take part in your workshops. Thank you again and I wish you well in every aspect of your life."

"Thank you!  Also wanted to add that your book is the ultimate in freedom and true life.  Thank you for finding yourself and offering to take so many others with you."

"I just wanted to let you know how deeply I feel your experience of self-healing based on your contributions on your website. The part about the Inner child work is especially important to me right now. I have understood and felt everything you've talked about and described. The inner workings of the soul, heart, and mind can be labyrinthine at best, and I thank you for providing a bit more light to make your way by."

"I just wanted to write you to say thank you for all the work you have put into your website.  I have great admiration for how prolific you are in your writing and that you make it so accessible to people online for free.  I'm sure that it must minister to countless people.  I hope that as I grow in courage and love that I will become as prolific myself.  I found your site as I was doing research on emotional incest as part of my own healing journey and from there I read many of your articles especially re. romantic relationships as I have just ended one.  Your stories resonate significantly with my own experiences in the painful but growth producing path that is dating. Blessings on your journey Robert!"

"I just wanted to tell you that everytime I read something you have written, I am amazed.  I am amazed mostly because your thought correlate so much with mine."

"Your site is one of the best on the web. It gives so much insight. Thank you for that."

"I've been reading your articles almost everyday. . What i read so far about your site, touched me deeply in a way i cant go back.  I had to face my own issues, and now is time. . Anyways, i need to do my homework, im aware its going to be hard, but i want to make a commitment. Thank you for your page. You opened a side that was hidden and needed to blossom..Thank you, Robert!!! "

"It has been some time (like 2-3 yrs) since I ordered your book and read it several times!!  Somehow after a few yrs your site was once again sent  to me in a email of ----check this great site out. I was like Oh  I've ordered this book before and was able to relate to its contents  whole heartedly.  I am now amazed to see how the sight has grown and so much new information , so another heartfelt thank you the time and dedication you put into this web  page. A treasure well worth  reading and saving.. It will take me some time to catch up .. but I'm looking forward to reading more."

"I really feel compelled to write to you and have been meaning to for what seems like a long, long time. But everything has unfolded so quickly for me that it is only now that I can truly sit back, want to share my experience, feel proud of where I've got and really really want to tell you how much you have helped me in reaching this point. . . . One evening I decided to look up more about therapy and how it could really help and it was as if I was being pulled to your site and my mission was to read everything that was on it. It was the first time ever that I had literally dedicated time to helping me. Before this point everyone else in my life had always been my absolute priority. I spent hours and hours reading, and re-reading. I returned the following day and spent the entire evening reading. As I read I started to cry, and it became so intense that I could not stop crying, yet I wasn't afraid, and it didn't feel like depression tears, more like tears that were unraveling a truth that would help me so much. From that moment on I thought such loving thoughts towards you. I wondered if I'd ever meet you and how proud I was of you. It felt like someone had helped me so much, yet I didn't know who they were. Funny eh that you go through life thinking that the people close to you are the ones that help you, and then you discover true love from a complete stranger. So from the deepest part of my heart I want to thank you.  I will always think of you as the person who helped me start the most wonderful journey of my life, and i will be forever grateful to you for that. Please keep up your wonderful work. You are truly a wonderful person."

(September 3, 2005)
"I am absolutely taken back by this site.  I can't get enough of it.  I am a recovering alcoholic with 13 years of sobriety.  I have turned several of my sponsee's on to this site.  I often will take some of the information and use it as a topic at an A.A. meeting, always giving credit to this site.  After meetings many people will ask me where I got the reading from.  Usually our meeting break up and non-smokers go in another room.  Whenever I chair everyone stays because they know I have found yet another profound topic from here.  I just want to say thanks for having this available to us."

"You are Too Good To Be True!  Thank you for sharing "The Inner Children" to the world!  You are helping so many people who never knew!  God Bless and Keep You Always!"

"Your website has helped me out immensely today."

"Your book is a great hit with my friends and associates. The last two that I had were "borrowed with the intent of not returning." They were picked up by someone on my job. This was carelessness on my part, but the good news is that I work with alot of people in recovery and they picked the best book on understanding addiction & co-dependency.  . . . . I have been in recovery for 27 months and have been on an amazing spiritual journey. Having had a soul awareness over 30 years ago and stuck in my own personal purgatory because of my dissatisfaction with organized religion I felt as though I did not belong any where. The propaganda buried deep in my sub-conscience was in conflict with my common sense. Now I am very much aware that my addiction was a blessing and understanding that we are all,indeed,Spiritual Beings having a human experience. I never paid attention to my interest in Native American Spirituality other than the peace I found in nature. Your book has pulled together all the things I have learned over the past 2+years and has had a similar impact on my friends who are very serious about their recovery. Thank you."

"Hi Robert I love your work"

"Thank you for your very mind expanding book."

"Hi Robert, I have come across your website and just wanted to send you a warm note of gratitude for taking the time and caring enough to create your site and post your articles.  Actually, I came across your site a month or so ago when looking for something else I 'thought' I needed, I didn't think your site was what I was looking for,  but have been drawn back again, so clearly my guides/higher self were at work here! "

"What a wonderful and immensely valuable content on your website. I just wanted to tell you that I've done a relentless amount of research and study in regards to matters concerning spirituality, psychology, self, consciousness, philosophy and pretty much anything that would help me understand myself and my beliefs and/or thought patterns, and I have to say your presentation and meticulous distillation of these traumatic scenarios is just pure gold. Your exposition on co-dependency, emotional incest and all these related subjects of obsessive patterns, etc, should not only be read by all my family members but it should be mandatory that they become experts on it. Experts in the sense that they first identify themselves as protagonists in it, and as a consequence get inspired to work in the undoing of its complexity. As you suggest in one of your writings, I don't try to "fix them" anymore. That was actually my life story with my mother... but it never worked. You couldn't have described my situation more accurately regarding the child who felt compelled to "save" his mother from her emotional helplessness and in the process "learned" that if he couldn't make mommy happy, he must be of no value. Consequently falling in a long, insidious pattern of trying to gain his sense of worth from his parents approval. I finally had to detach myself from her/ them (other family members) to the point of no communication. I became obsessed with the idea of making them understand what was happening, but to no avail... The frustration became beyond words. The dynamic of the relationship so restricted to the stubborn pattern woven since childhood, that not even a resilient mule like myself could succeed in ever changing it in the smallest degree. Arguments would ensue about anything and everything, always ending up in my irresistible need to direct the "conversation" to "the subject" again... Very hurtful. I foolishly thought that if they understood "the problem" we would all grow as a family and be happier.... but I can tell they only interpreted it as my way of blaming them, never seeing that my intention was to move on to a healthier stage by understanding what had happened. I mostly found a wall and terrible misunderstanding. But I've come a long way from that past, although I still find my biggest struggle "to do" and "use" my gifts and talents on a daily basis. I believe now that I have everything to succeed even further in life. I've actually found a "spiritual way" for myself, it's vigilant of my thinking, held beliefs, and what I'm doing with my time in the present. I actually feel blessed in many ways... which is, to say little, still a bit of a surprise and a source of deep feeling and gratitude.  I really hope I didn't abuse your time, it's not everyday that I find someone to share these thing with.  God Bless and much Love to You"

"I just have to say thank you for your online articles.  There are so many pieces of the puzzle that are coming clearer."

"I bought your book the same day I visited your site.I have read it and am rereading it.I have spread the word about your website also which gives me great joy to share.  I believe you have hit the nail on the head. I find nothing in your site that I can disagree with, it all fits in place in my journey of life."

"I do enjoy the website. Your site is the only one that seems to have a grasp of what I have - emotional anorexia."

"I can not tell you how much your web site has done for me. I received your book and was so delighted to have a hard copy of your insights, directions, and wisdom. I too was lost for a long time with an alcoholic husband, an addicted son, a daughter in Kidney failure, and the lost of my thirteen year old daught (killed by a drunk driver). I went to work for a recovery home and it changed my life. My husband and I are together still (47 years) and he is clean and sober, my son is as well and is a successful restaurant manager and has a wonderful family. My daughter recived a kidney from her brother ( the addict) and is now a successful person in the medical field. I of course can't bring my daughter back, but now know why she left to begin with.

I thought that I had it all together until my husband and I adopted a great granson when he was four . He had been sexually, mentally , and physically abused and I was soon to learn that my work was not done yet. More lessons to be learned. He is now seven and I'm still learning. Everyday is a new learning experience and without the knowledge I've learned through reading and your web-site, the job would be un-bearable.

I have learned that once you truly understand the purpose of being here on Mother Earth, you can better understand and accept the happenings of your life path. I only wish that I had the money to help you with your life path of helping, but because we are senior citzens on a fixed income , I can't . I can only wish you the very best and wish that your circle of life will always be in harmony with the Universal circle of life. May you be blessed with whatever it takes for you to continue your  loving life work."

"lately ive been pondering the nature of love and did a websearch and came across your most interesting article - it really stood out against everything else that came up - it has alot of truth"

"my name is ____ and I come from Barcelona, Spain, I am 32 years old. I wanted to thank you for sharing your personal story. A friend of mine sent me the information about your web site two days ago and what I read - specially about your romantic relationship - touched me very deep inside."

"Hi Robert. I found your web site this morning I have not read your books as of yet. I have been in the process of doing the inner child work. I was so relieved to find you, someone that has done this work and so much more. I read the part where you wrote of how you were sure you would be in a padded room to un leash the backed up emotions and I did not think there was another human being that would admit how scary all this can be. . . . Thank you for your wisdom and caring way to put yourself out there to help others. God Bless."

"My name is _____ and thank you for posting all this imformation. I have been in recovery for 16 yrs. but realize I need to do more work on my codependency issues. .. . . I have a lot of work to do on myself but your site has given me some tools and hope that I can stop these behaviours that hurt me and the ones that I love. Thank you and may Creator continue to help you with you work."

"I have just celebrated my third year of sobriety, and was lucky enough to stumble across your website.  I was interested in the part codependancy plays in alcoholic relationships, and discovered a huge array of things about myself!!  I knew that I had some childhood issues, but I didn't realized that they were affecting my life to the extent that becomes apparent reading your articles.  I subsequently ordered your book, am looking forward to reading it cover to cover, and feel that it will be a huge benefit to me in my recovery.  Thanks so much for sharing on your website, I feel like I can begin to discover who I really am, and can help my son to be who he really is, instead of telling him what he can't do or be.  Time to break the cycle. Bless you and may your Higher Power watch over you always."

"What can I say?.......... I am gobsmacked by the contents of your web site!  SO much so, that I can't yet express what your writings have given me!  I have just recently started inner child therapy and found your site through a simple google search.  With all my heart...thank you....and thank Goddess for guiding me to you on my journey.. Love, light & goddess blessings"

"I was about to die before I started learning about inner child healing, codependency and grieving. I can't seem to get in touch with my inner child. She's like in a cold dark scary place. I wish I could reach her.  You've saved my life thank you."

"Over the weeks that I've worked on myself, both with my counselor and individually, I go to your website every day.  On weekends, many times I've cried all day as I process, work, grieve, rage, etc. before going back for another lesson in self-exploration and healing.  I have learned more about myself, who I really am, why I react, and how to heal that I have ever realized was possible.  For those who make that journey into self, reading your work is the best gift they could ever give themselves.  It feels wonderful to let the real me be,  but it feels even better to understand the real me, and to love both the inner ____ and the big girl ____.I have shared your website with others who also hurt, and it is my hope that they too can benefit from all it has to offer.  With my deepest appreciation and heartfelt thanks for all your efforts, past, present and future"

"I came back to your site to check on new information and some of the inner child articles.  You have a lot of good stuff here that makes sense and I know is true."

"I just wanted to say thanks for all you share. Everytime I come to your site I find more useful information. This site of yours is so amazing! Thanks"

"Your website has made so much sense to me on every level. I read it and re-read it, getting something else of value every time. I have recognized my own co-dependency with survival strategies to get my self-worth met by being a passive-aggressive, people-pleaser, it is so self-affirming to learn from you. I have often felt like an emotional energy vampire. I am now in the process of trying to get from God what I thought I should get from people: love, acceptance, comfort, safety, and steadfast reliability. For all those intangibles, I was/am continually searching for people to give me what I want. Vey selfish. Your family history sounds very similar to mine"

"You website has helped me a lot.  Thank you"

"I wanted to write to you as reading your book " dance of the wounded souls" has had a great impact on me. I am from Austraila and I came across your website months ago and it has helped me so much in understanding my personal journey and has highlighted the areas that i need to heal and work on releasing. I spent months looking for your book in all the book shops in Melbourne, Australia only to find that they were not stocked here. I ended up ordering your book from amazon  and eagerly awaited its arrival. Two weeks later i recieved it and i read the entire book that night. It evoked so many feelings in me and for the first time in my life i finally understood. I am 28 and have been through so many experiences which i viewed as negative  i trully believed that i was being punished. It certainly felt that way, I realise now that i am co dependant and i have found a tweleve step program locally in Melbourne which i will be attending in a couple of weeks. . . You book has given me hope, encouragement the answers to my questions and my fears.  I am trully so grateful. I would like to do what ever i can to spead the word of your book here in Australia as it has had such a significant impact on me i want others to benefit form this book as well.  Robert, If i can be of any assistance here in Australia to assist in promoting your book please let me know. I believe in the power of your work and if it can touch other people the way it has me then that trully would be a lovely gift."

"I'm sure you don't remember me but we exchanged several emails before and then I purchased your book "The Dance of Wounded Souls", which I've probably read about 4 times now.  I refer to it in my deepest moments of despair. . . . . Your book is the only book I've ever read that truly reflects how I feel about spirituality and the human soul and that means a lot to me."

"I liked everything you said about relationships - sure made me feel less insane!"

"There are no appropriate words to express how much you, your books, your tapes, your website have changed my life. I received your book and tapes on my birthday (July 12th) it was the best gift I ever received, a gift that made me discover myself. Robert, I feel better already, I feel like I am heading somewhere, I used to feel stuck and confused, mostly because I didn't know any healthy way of dealing with life. Robert, I now allow myself to CRY, I used not to cry because to me it was weakness, I had to be strong and to be strong meant not to cry, but now any chance I get I cry, cry it all out and write it in my journal. Especially that inner child healing, I found out that this is where I was having a hard time with internally. I repressed so many emotions and pains from the past, thinking that they will go away, but they were boiling inside me, trigging me  any chance they get or I get. I was in denial, but now I found strength to face myself. I am learning to love myself and to tolerate myself.  I am learning to surrender to God's unconditional love. I am getting there Robert; Thanks to God and to wonderful people like you I am living now."

"I was on your website last night.  I really love & enjoy site.  I'm doing a lot of recovery work right now & need to really also myself take more risks.  I was reading on emotional healing/relationships!"

"i happened to hit your site when looking for information on codepence/counterdependence. a lot of what you have written actually resonantes with my own experience of myself. in fact the part about wanting to die is a something that i keep hearing constantly within my self.  somehow, the concepts that you have talked about and sharing of your experiences have validated my own existence, and though at this moment it is a lot of intellectual understanding that i have gained rather than going thru the emotional churning,  i am feeling full of hope, that i can recover. i just wanted you to know that. thanks for sharing your experiences and work."

"I became a big big fan of your book and your thought .  it helped me to see picture of me clearly. now I feel a little better myself because ,I discover my pattern of Codependency. thank you so much."

"Hi Robert! I enjoyed your book very much and am very comforted when I read it."

"I leant my copy of your wonderful book to a friend......and just realized I miss it very much...would you please inscribe a copy to me?  ...it's my 50th bday on August 3 and this is a book I will need to carry for the rest of my life.....thanks so much for figuring out all this emotional confusion.... . . . . When I read your words I feel my heart relax.....someone finally understands...god bless and thank you!"

"my deepest appreciation and thanks for all your efforts and for sharing them so that we can become who we truly are meant to be!"

"Thank you for providing that information on your webpage.  It is simply and eloquently worded and spoke directly to the issues that I have been discovering about myself.  From a human to a human, not an academic that is out of touch with how people need to be communicated to in order to heal.  I will buy a copy of your book as soon as I can scrape the cash together.  I hope that your book receives much success"

"I became a big big fan of your book and your thought . it helped me to see picture of me clearly. now I feel a little better myself because, I discover my pattern of Codependency.  thank you so much."

"Robert, your website has opened so many doors to healing in my life. Your story sounds like my own as you shareÖ the emotional incest, the shame and guiltÖ   "

"Thank you, Robert, for your helpful insights. It is so validating to have wisdom from someone who has been through it and has come out the other end with a better relationship to themselves! I will keep in mind that you do telephone counselling, and I would certainly like to be added to your e-mailing list for your web site. Your wisdom of having loving, compassionate internal boundaries is also something that I haven't heard anyone else say. It is also God's plan that I love myself, and if I constantly criticize and demean myself, I will of course allow others to do the same to me. And it's true that I have developed the pattern of attacking myself before someone else does, as a defensive tactic. We learn what we see. I learned that quite well, and am now in the process of unlearning that
very life-destroying habit of thought, and have successfully prevented migraines by recognizing and changing the self-critical thoughts. Thanks again, Robert. You come from a heart-centred place, and I'm sure you're helping many people."

"Your web site has been a breath of fresh air.  I connected immediately when I started reading the material.  We think very much alike.  Thanks"

"I am not going to gush about what a wonderful site you have developed, nor am I going to rave about your writings, which have, with their honesty and forthright delivery, sent a clear message of hope for all of the peope who are dealing with dysfunction in their lives.  I think you already know you have a rare and special gift and you are very much appreciated.  As I read your prolific prose, I realized that I identified greatly with what you have been trying to accomplish. I am working through my own Inner child issues and have benefitted greatly from your insights."


"I have been reading info on your website and the JOY2U&ME, etc  I find it very interesting and I totally see myself in your words"

"Finding your site was such a healing experience, that I wanted to write and thank you. I haven't even read it all yet, but the codepency and healing the inner child, hit home and made me feel so happy for hours. A weight fell off my shoulders. I felt that I finally had the information I needed to move on, and let go. It was so good to find someone who could explain what it is, that I've been struggling with, and validate my instinctive feelings up through the years. I will keep reading your site in the future and try to learn it by heart. . . . Thank you from the depth of my heart. I'll be back reading your pages a lot in the future. They help explain, they show the way, and they make a huge difference. Basically, they help me feel not guilty, about letting go, and expressing myself to the fullest of my current ability."

"Finished your book in one night, I couldnít put it down!"

"Thank you for all the great info."

"Please could I be included in your electronic mailing list.  Thank you!!  Your website is FAB - really appreciate that you are willing to part with your knowledge."

"I stumbled across your web site in searching for understanding of my sonís addictions/recovery and my own co-dependency, etc.  Your writings blew me away ? the most honest and helpful and life changing articles Iíve ever read (and Iíve been reading a lot of stuff for the past few years).  Anyway, thank you so much for sharing so much information and helping people.  You have made me look at things in a new light and a happier one.  I am not done reading everything on your site yet but look forward to it."

"Your website is fantastic!!!"

"You have probably heard this many times but had it not been for my sonís problems with drugs and alcohol over the years (he is now 32) I would not have gone to counseling myself or continued to look for answers and information as to how we all came to do this ëdanceí as you so aptly put it.  A few years ago I thought I had identified my co-dependency and worked through my ëissuesí.  I have to laugh now - that was only the tip of the iceberg.   When I found your web site, I was completely struck by the words you wrote with regard to how women are wounded by their fathers at a vulnerable time ? when we start to develop as young women. (This is in reference to the article Wounded Parents - the tragic legacy of dysfunctional families) I had never heard this or read this before and even though I had mentioned this (the fact that my father completely and suddenly cut off his relationship with me when I was young, and then it seemed he was always full of anger at me - it hurt terribly my entire life wondering what the heck I had done) to a therapist a couple of years ago whom I was seeing with regard to co-dependency and making myself crazy with wanting to ëfixí my sonís drug problems, the only thing she could come up with was yes, this was probably a contributing cause to my fears of abandonment and co-dependency.  But I wanted to know WHY he had abandoned me and I couldnít ask my (quite elderly) mother what had happened and my father had passed away several years ago.  Now at last your comforting words as to a quite likely reason and now instead of holding onto the anger and hurt at my father I feel I can truly start forgiving him and healing myself.  At least the counseling started me on a quest to seek inner answers as to why I chose relationships with emotionally unavailable men.  I am married to an alcoholic ? not physically abusive but emotionally unavailable.  He was so unavailable that I divorced him and then remarried him again 10 years later to have another go at 'fixing' the problem.  So no wonder our son is so confused.  It is sad but at the same time, all that has happened has actually made me a happier person because I am finally getting some things figured out instead of feeling confused, angry and hurt all the time.  And Iíve quit trying to fix people!  When I let go and quit trying to rescue my son and started working on fixing myself, he finally came to the conclusion that he needed help and I am so hopeful that he is on his way to a healthier life.  I also found great comfort in the words you wrote to parents of drug addicts/alcoholics.  I kept wanting to blame myself and/or my husband.  Reading your words on this is helping me to continue to let go of the blame game.  Well, again, thank you so much for sharing your education and thoughts to all of us who are searching on this journey of life."

"i only recently discovered your web page but it is already helping me tremendously. it was as a result of reading the exttracts on the web page that i decided to purchase your book."

""Robert, your website has opened so many doors to healing in my life. Your story sounds like my own as you share, the emotional incest, the shame and guiltÖI have spent hours and hours on your siteÖ thank you for making so much available.""

"My name is ______ and I live in Holland. I came accross your website coincidentally, looking for some support in struggeling with a love relationship I am in. Everywhere I look I read such crummy, non-helpful stuff about this, nothing that goes to the core of my issues. I have done a lot of inner child work the last couple of years and I already knew that again (ongoing) I need to look at my inner child(ren) and all that has happened to her to make sense of what I am doing now. I have been quite able to work with this uptill now, but since I have met this man and have fallen in love with him (or so it feels) I have just felt overwhelmed and unable to make sense of myself anymore. Reading about your work and views just lifted my heart and made it a bit easier to breathe, I found something that touches me and that I can relate to."

"thanks again for your wonderful site "

"Yes, I am finding your Web site hugely valuable . . . although it's somewhat difficult to be reminded of the work one needs to do to heal that inner child."

"Your book and tapes arrived two days ago and I just finished them, today.  They, as well as your websites, are truly Gifts from God. Your book is helping me to see how much I need to get back to rereading all my Al Anon materials and to actually apply your great works.  It was helpful to be reminded that all things happen for a reason and that when a door closes, a window opens ~ that the end of something is just another beginning. . . . . Thank you, Robert, for your great website which will be of help to me over many months.  Thanks for signing the book and tapes; may God continue to Bless You! "

"I found your web site extremely valuable to me, and I guess your book will help me a lot with my healing process and in my spiritual path. Actually it was by reading your articles in your web site that I became really aware that I needed healing more than ever."

Some feedback specifically about my June Update Newsletter:

"I am so happy for you Robert...thank you for sharing this latest chapter of your story...you've always inspired me to heal and grow...your recovery has helped so many...you are a very generous man....'to keep it, you've got to give it away.'  Thanks for the reminder today."

"I donít know if you will remember me.  You sent me a copy of your book a couple of years ago and then I bought some more.  I run a psychotherapy practice in ______, Canada.  I just want to thank you for your great courage, both in the way you live your life and the incredible risk you are willing to take to share your life with all of us, to be an example of how to really be in your own process every day of your life.  I find your story deeply moving and also energizing and inspiring.  You are a latter-day prophet.  There are lots of good therapists who teach. And some who guide, but you are the only one I know of who actually shows others the way."

"I had tears of joys when I read your most recent update about the events in your life - I prayed that you would have some one wonderful come into your life and that you would be blessed with abundance."

"I just wanted to let you know how blessed I was having read your news letter. Thank you for being so real."

"I want to congratulate you on the exciting new developments in your life with your new partner and family.  The closeness you have develped with your son and the chance that he may come with you.  i hope your life becomes happy and fulfilled and that you have found your true soulmate.  Your work has been of great help to me and i feel compelled now to purchase your book."

(July 3, 2005)
". . . I typed in how to find peace with in myself, and your website popped up and I have been on it everyday since.   I finally realized that I could accept God and that he has his hand in everything, and I can see light at the end of the tunnel. ..  I felt so connected to your writing and finally I get it and I know it will take years for recovery but the one thing I can see is me being balanced and okay and its like climbing stairs I am at the bottom and I can picture myself at the top and know I need to get there. I really feel like God sent you to me and I can do this . . . Thank you so much for sharing you stories and am blessed to have stumbled across your path.  You are a true angel from Heaven.  I have already started passing on your web site. "

"A friend I have in the Netherlands also ordered your book.  The burden of years of being depressed, is starting to lift and the sun is coming through in his life and that of his family, you book is making miracles come true."

"I just read one of your monthly entries (I think) at www.Suite101.com and it is like an epiphany. I had actually found the article by Googling "Relationship Phobia" because, to me, my feelings were akin to being a "relationship agoraphobiac." . . I will see where the journey takes me, but your experience is helping me put it into words."

"Thanks so much, Mr. Burney.  I'm the lady you spoke to on the phone from New Orleans.   It's ironic; but besides the wonderful information about your book, I also read something I liked by Dr. Irene Matiatos.  Then, when I checked on something else, I saw where Dr. Matiatos highly recommended your book. Her statement was "Your book was the best she has seen on codependence".  I look forward to reading it."

"Your an incredible person.  You've helped me so much. I know all about that waking up and wanting to die feeling. I have a long hard road ahead of me, but you've paved the way. Thank you."

"I havenít been on your site for the first time today, but not often, tooÖÖand the last time has been long ago. Today I read lots of articles and I (again!) realised how extremely special and wonderful your site is!!!!!!!!!  But moreover today I found so much more of myself in it, and little by little I laughed more and more (I really need it these days againÖÖ!), realising so many similarities. Especially when I finally said to myself ìI have to read the biography of this being now!!!!î I kind of had bursts of hysterical laughter. It sounded all so familiar.  Thank you for your wonderful courage and honesty in sharing all this!!!! I know what a wonderful person you are. I can feel it in every sentence. And the universe loves you for sure ? and by now you know it! And maybe if my financial situation improves, I might just try to call you one dayÖÖÖ! All the wonderful best to you"

"You have a wonderful site and a great way of putting things.  Where you raised in my family?  You've articulated what I've felt for years, but could not articulate and sadly have a hard time facing and breaking what to me is a repeatitive cycle."

"Thanks for the great work you are doing. I was reading your book, on the recommendation of my therapist, and through it found your website on which I have spent the last couple of hours pouring over. Now that my eyes can no longer focus I must stop but have added you to my Favorite places file.!!"

"I found your work after having ended a dysfunctional relationship, and looking inward to find the reason that I have always chosen unavailable women in my romantic relationships.  I have read a great deal of it, and find it most accurate and truthful.  Obviously written by a man that has done massive amounts of his own personal work.  Even tonight, in doing another "Google" for "letting go", I stumbled upon another great article that you have chosen to share. I just wanted to say thank you for putting your work out there, and making it available."

"I use your website, book and the tapes .  Regarding the latter two, I kindly suggest people pruchase both the book and the tape. 'The critical parent discease voice' in people's head/mind is their own voice. When using your tapes, it is your voice, so an additional perspective is added. This enables them to create the distance required to be able to observe themselvesboth as a forest and as trees."

"I just wanted to say how insightful and beneficial I have found your website to be - you certainly are an extremely gifted teacher."

"Just logged onto site after "discovering" inner child issues - was always aware but denial or ignorance prevailed.  Anyway just quickly, I wanted to praise & thank you for a beautiful site. I hope your life is full of joy & love as you deserve it for reaching out to troubled souls like myself. Good on you."

"I just wanted to give you a big THANK YOU for your wonderful website, it has been healing at a time when I have been in a lot of pain.   Thank you!"

"Thank You Dear Brother Robert for Your faithful service ! We Thank God today for placing You in our life ....Grace be with You!"

"I came upon your website by "chance" and have since spent many hours on reading some of your articles. This is exactly what I needed to read. I was in a very dysfunctional relationship with someone who is heavily addicted to drugs, alcohol, who displayed borderline personality problems. It really shook my world, I am still reeling from all the damage: be it emotional, financial, sexual. I began to feel the victim-oh boy did I not wallow!! Now you are pointing out a road  towards inner healing, to, for the first time actually, realise that I was a co-player.  I am a mathematician, I can live for hours in the strange world of mathematical patterns. Now I am facing problems which I cannot solve, I must surrender...and I see a glimmer of something very positive that will come from this. Thank you for your work....I still have a very long road ahead, but I feel positive, for the first time in how many months."

"I wanted to thank you for your insights and experience in the human condition and pentrating the hard wall of co-dependency (liked the term outer-dependency). I will recommend, "Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls" to everyone I know."

"We both think your web site is awesome and wish we'd found it a long time ago.  After 11 years of marriage, we are on the verge of divorce.  ___ read your web site last night for 2 hours and was in tears.  I wish we'd seen it a long time ago, back when I was still able to be nurturing and not so deeply hurt and angry.  Due to the long-term lack of intimacy and rejection, I'm not sure I can carry on in our marriage.  However, when I found your web site, I was very excited to show it to ____. . . . I thank you for putting together your wonderful web site. "

"I have just finished reading your book "The Dance of Wounded Souls" and it was like a breath of fresh air to me. I almost felt that this is something I had always known but never been conscious of it."

"Dear Robert !  Thank You againe and againe . You are precious Gift from God to all of us . I Belive Loving Heavenly Father  speak to me through the pages of Your book our  trusted servant , Brother and Friend Robert  ....  I'm codepended , ACA , alcoholic and addict from St.Petersburg , Russia . Moved to USA in 1989 Now living in _____, VA . Stop drinking in september 1999  Entered  AA program .... Thank God for everything !"

"I wanted to drop you a note, letting you know that your web site is one of the most moving ones that I have come across, and is so comprehensive on the subjects about which you write. I can feel that you have a lot of life experience and that you are truly committed to sharing those."

"Dear Mr. Burney, I am writing to say how wonderful your InnerChild/Codep articles are at Suite101.com and Joy2MeU, and how much they are helping me. . . . Over the years, I've scoured scores of books and websites in pursuit of some semblance of emotional sanity, and nowhere  have I found a more cogent, instructional, and helpful presentation of Codependency and Inner Child issues than your collection of online articles. In my humble opinion, the depth and wisdom of your insights and understanding into Codep/InnerChild issues is exceeded only by your uncanny ability to communicate these intricate concepts clearly in writing.  In short, I am finding your articles to be simply amazing in their breadth, understanding, and presentation. . . . At any rate, I am now devouring your Inner Child Healing series at Suite101.com and have ordered your book, "Codependency: Dance of the Wounded Souls", and am so very grateful ... that I just had to write and let you know that after 10 years of sobriety, dozens of self-help programs, crippling confusion, untold pain, unavailable partners, and well-meaning therapists ... your online articles have given me new hope and understanding into my condition, its origin, and treatment.  Thank you so much for all your hard work, research, and writings"

"I have to tell you that your writings and your website are a magnificent godsend. . . . I count you among my blessings! Thank you for all your good work."

"A friend of mine just gave me a printing of part of your website.  It filled me with such hope.  I determined about three years ago that I was codependent.  I've had such a tough time figuring out what it was all about, but at the same time, I began to awake.  I'm beginning to see what an old soul I really am and to learn what I am to do in this lifetime.  It's been a VERY long and tough road, but after reading your article, it's finally helping me to solidify a lot of things in my life. "

"Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Even though I just started reading your writings, discovered your web site yesterday. You have touched me with a number of questions, longings, and desires I have been searching on for some time. I love the fact that you are so opened minded and relate to levels of all sorts, for some reason I have always believed it deep inside of me,  but didn't know how to precieve it.   I just want to run up and give you a big hug. Of course if you were working on some part of recovery on yourself, does that mean I am that unavailable type of  women ... lol ... I am just  joking. And yes I do have some work to do on myself, but as scary as it seems to me, I am also more delighted that I am starting to see what needs to be done and I CAN DO IT! YIPPIE. "

"I am most excited to recevie your book and I am sure you have heard this many times before, but your words have been very helpful and inspirational. Trying to heal yourself is difficult and having your literature to help disseminate things is a blessing."

"I was reading your book. I have it at home a while now and this afternoon I took it again. At a stage, I litteraly kissed the book and wanted to give you a hug. Yes really. What I read touched me so, liberated me so."

"Let me begin by saying I never contact anyone like this, but I have been reading your web site and I am so touched and feel so happy I found it, I wanted to thank-you from the bottom of my heart for being such a great man to share your wisdom with people like myself who have suffered for years with co dependency. I have been to a lot of different counselors threw the years trying to find out what on earth was the matter with me, needless to say coming away feeling worse as I really had no answer's and just figured I was doomed to always feeling like this. Your writings have given me new inspiration and understanding of what has taken place within my life and steps to begin my healing,let alone stopping the nasty cycle of this disease and passing it on to my children.  I don't even know you, and I hope you don't think I'm a whacko lol( that's probably this disease talking to me), but seriously I think you are such a wonderful man, you have shared this information to millions of people expecting nothing in return, and to me that is something special and unique no matter which angle you look at it. I'm only half way threw the pages and already am noticing the way I speak to myself, the way I constantly judge myself for not being good enough, you have taught me so much, I don't even know how to express what I am feeling. I am sure in the future you will hear from me again, maybe even being able to set up a phone session, but until then, I wish you all the very best happiness in the world, you so deserve it Robert, what a TERRIFIC person you are. Thank-you So Much"

"Hi, my name is ____...and I am finding your work to be invaluable to me.  It's as though I'm reading my story in your writings. I have truly needed to find your writings for who knows how long exactly, probably for 35+ years...(I'm 48 now). Your writings are not the typical writings on co-dependence...I needed the spiritual blend."

"I wanted to email you to say thank you.  I just found your website yesterday, and I cannot stop reading it...About 15 years ago...I found (through counseling) that I was an ACOA.....The problem is...I never did anyting about it. My attitude was "oh...ok...that's why I do what I do....etc..." I went on with my life ....left the counseling and raised three children.... In 2002...I finally left the emotionally/mentally abusive man that I had spent my ENTIRE life with....(from 17 - 35 years old....) Problem is........even though I am happy.. Now that he is out of my life, Something was missing....It wasn't until...last week when my current BF said to me, "hunny...it seems everything IS so negative with you....all the time....even when something GOOD happens....you are waiting for something bad....."I hurt me that he said it....but I know it was true....I had become a negative Nelly..... I briefly explained to him that I learned that years ago...I found out that I was an ACOA....And then BAM...a light went on...and I thought to myself..."WHY didn't you ever do anything with that...?" And that realization led me to your site. I have decided that I want to heal.  It is no longer acceptable that I am 38 and still do not drive....and it is no longer acceptable that I do not know HOW to have fun.  Do you know how many things I have missed out on...in life because I am afraid................of trying new things? Of looking stupid?? etc...(I'm sure you do.....) So thank you...for helping me, And for putting the site there for me to read. So much that you speak of....hits home with me. (my mother was an alcoholic/ drug addict)  When reading your site...I start to cry....But it feels as though I am healing from it....and they are mixed tears. So thank you, once again.  I will continue to read, buy your books when I can, and finally.....after all these years, begin to heal. You have a wonderful site."

"Your web site is great. Thanks so much. "

"Your website has given me hope that I can develop a better relationship with myself and my husband and children...  I need to find more resources to conquer the dark side... Thanks for your light"

"I have been enjoying reading your articles on the Internet.  What you have to say makes so much sense to me.  I have been reading a lot about a lot of stuff the last several months and your site has been a blessing to surf onto.   I just found your site about a month ago. Thank you for creating your web site.   (((((Huggs))))))"

"I have been working in CD (chemical dependency) field for 7.5 years. I want to thank-you from my heart for the wonderful web-site. It helps me every day to guide the people I work with."

"I am anxiously awaiting your book and tapes. I don't even know how I came across your website other than accidentally (but we both know that there are no accidents in this life). My brief story is that I am an adult child of alcoholicism, incest, physical, mental, emotional abuse. Married 3 times and now going through my third divorce. Married an abusive alcoholic. Hmm go figure how that could have happened! I am tired of beating myself up for making so many mistakes. I already knew about co-dependence but I don't think to the depth of how much it can truly ruin your life. I have read many different books on the subject but I must say thanks to you because the information on your website has been MORE beneficial to me than anything that I have read. Not only about co-dependence but so many other issues that play a part in my life. I am desperately seeking wellness and spiritual healing. I do not want to continue down this heartbreaking path any longer."

". . your wonderful book is a really important ingredient in making this happen. ì Iíll show you Iíll get meî was the unconscious mantra of my Life, and You helped me unravel it!  ETERNAL BLESSINGS to you for being Here Now and doing the things you do!!!"

"Yes that will be fine with me to put me on the mailiing list. Thank you very much. I think when I was scanning of some of your different topics I saw one on the Native American, but didn't have a chance to open it up. I have been reading and observing Ted Andrews "Animal Speak" dealing with animal totems, pretty cool stuff. During lunch I go for a walk and a swallow almost flew into me I had to jump out of the way. I'm thinking to myself "Oh boy what is that trying to tell me ... lol". I looked it up and pretty much it is saying to quit rehashing old issues and problems, it's time to move on. Telling me to rise above it, get a little distance with it (like deattachment) for a better perspective. Objectivity is the key. Hmmmm sound like what you are talking about.  I am always amazed at how all these different pathways can come together and work together for good. Keep up the GREAT work for I know God/Creative forces is smiling upon you."

"Love your web-site, its so FULL of useful information."

"I have been struggling with issues for several months now, and today a great therapist suggested I find a CoDa meeting. Instead I found your website. I cannot believe this discovery! . .I know now that answers soon await me to find the happiness I have been seeking all these years."

"I have been in recovery since 1977 for drugs and alcohol. I was passed around like a rubber ball sexually by all the 13 steppers in my home group. It was sickening and I though it all was the love and attention I needed! Then I drank again at almost 13yrs. of sobriety. Now I will have 12 yrs. sobriety again in October and I have joined SAA for my sexual addiction and have recently discovered incest in my past. My inner little girl has been so alone with her secrets and shame.  I just want to say how your web site is exactly what I need now to get in touch with my little girl(s). Since I have talked to her, or more importantly listened to her and hugged her and gone also to survivors of incest meetings to have support, I am feeling like a new person already! I have had so so so much therapy but no one actually worked with all the emotions and experiences of my child within. One therapist told me to buy a doll and act as if that was my inner child but that was as far as we got with that. The doll ended up on the floor most days as I found it to be a nuisance and gave it to the good will. (ha).Now I see how important this inner child work is. The part about internal boundaries scares me because my rebellion with over eating and breaking every rule ever put in my life has helped me to get my anger out. But I also have hurt myself with all that rebellion! I will now see discipline as a loving component to reparenting myself thanks to your wise insights. I could go on and on but I am sure you need your time to keep on keeping on with all your great writings and enjoying your life. THANK YOU for sharing so much great growth with all of us. I will keep your website as close to me as my higher power. For right now God is a scary concept who could betray me at any minute, but I know if I keep loving my inner child I will get to a safe belief in my spirituality. I love your writings"

"i just wanted to tell you how wonderful your work is, i am constantly searching on the internet printing out pages upon pages of information on self help.  and i just by chance came across your website and i think it was just a page that was linked to another page and i was hooked reading and printing. . i am a 39 year old female who is codependant, also i am a addict.  i have never read anything that hits right on like your work it is amazing."

"I have started reading your material and it is so wonderful and helpful. . .  Your information is very helpful....Thank you for sharing."

"And I seldom use honorifics, yet I hope to reach out to you effectively yet using the soul of wit, i.e., brevity. Thank you for your thoughtful insights. I, as yet, have but few. Nevertheless those few encourage me again that the love of wisdom has not disappeared from this earth."

Some Feedback from Workshops:
"People have talked about your visit every meeting since your workshop. With Founderís Day fast approaching, those who missed have expressed a sincere desire to have been there. Itís such a hopeful thing to know that something good happened around here. People speak of you with very high regard. Your work is so awesome. Thanks again"

"Your newsletters are great. I like the way you share your experience and truth. I can get a lot out of reading your journal. Itís also exciting to here about someone elseís journey and what they go through. You are a very good example of expressing feelings in your writing, too. Thatís wonderful that you got to spend so much time with your son. Robert, I cant thank you enough for pulling through on giving a fantastic workshop! Youíre an awesome professional."

"Can't tell you how helpful your seminar will be in my recovery, as the old saying goes, "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear"."

"I attended your workshop in Ohio.  It was great!  I went home and I had to sleep for 5 hours! J  But, I retained what I needed to retain.  Your website is awesome!  There is a lot of invaluable information available for codependent folks like us (me).  Thanks for sharing!"

"I was in your course in Ibiza . . . . I want to thank for everything, your voice still sounds in my head, and it makes ro remember me so many things that I had forgotten."

Someone posted this on another websites's forum - they were confused about my name but seemed to get the rest of it.
"I am reading and applying the skills from Robert Barney's work...  but to simply say, that Robert Barney's work is the 'best thing that happened to me' because it has empowered me with the strategies that I didn't have and the skills that I needed to meet the complication of co-dependency - low self worth, perceived powerlessness, medical complications, repression."

(April 30, 2005)
"Thank you Robert.  I have found your book not only to be valuable but the most valuable and life changing book of my life.  I listen to the tapes every time I am in the car and it is slowly growing within. I am 49 and began my search for my life questions when I was 24 and things have been brought to me when I asked for it.  The baggage I have always had, but did not know it, finally became so heavy that I had to recognize it and when I went to a counselor and heard the word codependent labeled on me I began research on the subject.  My research stopped when I found your website and I had no idea that in my learning experience of codependency that it would lead me back to the cosmic level again.  Thank you for sharing your knowledge and understanding.  It resonates with me to be the Truth and the deepest meaning of codependency and the best explanation of how to overcome it. On a personal level I understand how other paths of my spiritual development has been hindered. . . . Thank you again for your efforts and sharing your Light and Love."

"First of all, thank you so much for being such an ANGEL to all.  I found your site about two months ago and everything rings true. . . GOD BLESS YOU FOR HELPING SO MANY PEOPLE, YOU'RE TRULY A GIFT FROM GOD!!!"

"Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts and your deep understanding of the basis of human life."

"I have read some of the testimonies of your book.........i was hoping in some way that  i could be able to be so happy and lucky to be able to have the same comments as others...but i have to tell you i was very pessimistic....well let me tell you that your book not only saved my life but my sanity and it gave me a whole new outlook on how to live, how  to change my old thinking habits.....the critical parent and how it nearly destroyed me......calling it a liar and confronting the voice was a godsend to me...it is amazing but i am a brand new person and i am looking forward to really finding the new me....i am in the midst of making changes in my life and i am even contemplating leaving the dysfunctional relationship i am in now .. and i feel good about myself and my decisions...

"Keep up the great work you're doing. Your words really spoke to me.  It is helping me understand and move on."

"Thank you for all the important work that you have done over the years to bring this knowledge to the public,,,,,,,you have helped many people move through the pain and shame to a much better place within themselves!!"

"Just a quick note of thanks and encouragement.  I found your site last summer when I was doing a lot of personal growth/healing work and now again today.  Both times I have experienced a great sense of peace, affirmation and hope.  Thank you for your work and your willingness to share your experience and wisdom."

"I found your site by looking up codependency.  You have some GREAT insight and are gifted in how you so willingly share it. . . .Thanks for your website and many articles.  Thanks for being a kind heart.  Thanks for being an obviously thinking, warm, touched person."

"First of all, I have to say how impressive are your website and your online books. . . . . How wonderful to get such reinforcement and even more information and technique for him to assimilate.  Thank you! . . .   So I am writing  . .  to tell you that I am most impressed with your site, your writing, and your mission, which, I can tell, is quite valuable and effective.  Thanks!"

"Finding Suite 101 is a God send. I just discovered it 2 days ago. Now I know I am not alone. . . . .Thank you for your work; it is life changing."

"My name is ____ and I, like so many others, fit the bill to the T of what you speak of as ìtoxic loveî. . .  I think that your insight is right on the money and I wish I could hold it true in my own life."

"I read many of your things years ago, when deeply focused on my own recovery (ACA, Alanon, SLAA). It was great then, and has expanded to an incredible toolbox from which anyone can gain clarity and draw strength.  Thank you so much!"

"Hats off to you! Your site is absolutely stunning in it's range and depth of subjects and full information. So many are just ads for their books but yours is much much more. Thank you for all the work that you are sharing."

"I read your book. Very insightful and honest. I marked areas to discuss where it's almost as if you were writing about my life."

"I do not know if you exactly read these mails, which really does not matter, I just want you to know that I thank you for all you have done to help people on their spiritual awareness. I first read The auto-biography of a yoga by Parahasan yoganada back in 1972 or 73 and knew then there was a force controling things here on earth. Going down many paths to get here today I always knew the force was with me just did not acknowledge it sometimes. There were many things that keep me blind to it but I would say my acohol and pot smoking were part of that but they were also part of why I am here where I am at today. I have been sober for 1 year now and learned of the 12 steps through A.A. meetings 2 years ago. I was enlightened of your web page only a few days ago and have not stopped reading there since,well inbetween my job I should say. I just wanted to share this and thank you for all you have done and will be reading all that you out there!"

"I have been reading from your website for the past month and it has helped me greatly - thanks!"

"Hello Robert, I have read almost all of your literature over the past 6 months and am amazed at how it has changed my life, you certainly must have put time and effort (devotion I guess ) into looking into yourself to find the answers.Thanks for your inspiration !!"

"Hi, Robert.  I recently finished listening to your book, and am in the middle of replaying it again.  I enjoyed it very much.  It did resonate, to say the least.  Thank you for your work. . . I'm finding new and useful areas of your site every time I get on it.  It's huge.  Lots of really good information. I very much appreciate your courage and love to do what you are doing.  I'm sure you are helping many people the way you have already begun to help me.  It's awesome, man.  Inspiring."

"Thanks to you I attended my first CODA meeting this week and found it extremely refreshing, enlightening, helpful, reassuring and more."

"Thanks again.  I can't say enough about this book.  I read it the night I received it, in one sitting with a pen to underline things I wanted to glance back over ~ there is a LOT of underlining, lol.  This book affected me on so many levels that I can't even put it into words here.  You have successfully un-jumbled the mess that was my thoughts for the last few (several) years ~ Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!  Things that I couldn't make heads or tails out of at all are suddenly making sense to me for the first time in so long, I can't even really remember.  Thanks so much for sharing your story, your insights and your Truth as you know it."

"i have been reading your pages on codependancy and think your work is brilliant and it feels so true for me."

"Thanks.  Your book, "The Dance of The Wounded Souls" came in the mail yesterday and I took it with me to my ACOA meeting and was sharing how helpful it has already been to me.  Thanks for all you hard won insights.  It really resonates truth to me!"

"Thanks Robert, I am grateful that you use your energy and talent this way. Tis a truly wondrous experience to wake up to life and understand why I suffered, how I suffered, and especially today to see how life guided me lesson by lesson along the way so that I could easily open up the deepest wounds, rage and cry out the hurt as I see what those wounds cost me in terms of dreams and pain. So I don't have to act out the pain now.  Then to take one more step and truly appreciate what incredible beings we are. Me too. And to fall back into the universe, trusting more and more in the wisdom of the connection of all things. One thing really does lead to another. The wheels are in motion. The roles we play for one another are perfect, moment by moment. All it takes it seems is authentic being. I can do that. "Be where you are and let love, god, the universe, the truth, peace, IN. "  I rewrote the serenity prayer for myself. I like to simplify everything I guess.  God grant me the serenity to accept and learn from the past, Be in the present, and let go of the future. Play time!""

"I stumbled (thank you Google) across your website a couple of weeks ago (an arbitrary search re: setting boundaries) and have been enjoying it almost daily, since.  Lots and lots of information, WOW!  Thank you for doing this "work""

"My personal healing of late has much to do with your writings.. . . I did some powerful grief work over the winter and feel I have come to a much more peaceful and accepting place. Your articles encouraged me to stay with the grief, as painful as it was, and in doing so I was able to let go of so much.. . . Your bumper sticker is on my car and I continue to share your work.Thank you."

"Dear Robert: I am a recovered alcoholic of 18 years and have recently come to know your web site which is fantastic."

"I have read about 100 books in the last year and your book was the one that finally helped push me to a new level of healing and understanding that I so desperately was searching for. God bless you Robert. Thank you for setting the tone for the age of peace and enlightenment."

"I've got your book and I've almost finished it. It's fantastic. As you say, we already know these things, we just need to be reminded!"

"It appears as if your site and your insight is an instrument for healing beyond what other sources have to offer. I pray that the healing you offer to teach others-spreads. I think we live in a time where spiritual healing is gaining momentum and that future generations will keep building on this-it is starting with all of usóhere and now. The great insights and teaching from you on your site will transform my life. Actually, the information on your site has already begun to help me. I look forward to reading your book and listening to your tapes. I hope the topic of codependency and healing gains more attention. It seems as if this would be perfect for a series on PBS. Peace-"

" I look forward to reading your book, as I have found your website helpful. It is encouraging to know from your website that I am on the right track. (I had a "breakthorugh" last week in therapy that allowed me to identify and "feel" the anger and sadness that I have been carrying from a childhood incident. (I suppose this is the beginning of healing the inner child). Surprisingly, I felt an instant relief. I am healing.  I hope to be as helpful and encouraging to others one day as you are as I continue my journey."

"I have just finished reading your book: "The dance of wounded souls" It has helped me so much. I have been in recovery/ healing path consciously for the last 12 years and I am finally getting how to love and care for myself. I picked up your book at the right time. It went right to my heart!."

"Thanks again, Robert, for the great work you are doing the world! I enjoyed your site immensely and am looking forward to reading your book. Thank you for having so much wise and insightful info available for free on the internet! With gratitude."

"I really enjoy reading your articles.  I wish I had all the time in the world just to read and read and do some intense healing.  Or sometimes I wish I could just take a break from the world and commit myself somewhere to be pampered and be coached on how to do some healing. "

"I am a white haired Granny on the Gold Coast in Australia and I wanted to say that I just came across your work as listed and I am thrilled with what I have read.  Of course I shall have to read it several times (if the old eyes hold out of course).  I rarely peruse the Internet these days but I did this morning because the Angelic realms pushed me to do so, so here I am writing and thanking you.  I am one of a group of grandmothers who do transcendental meditation.  Be assured that your words 'ring true with me' and I thought that I would just let you know.  Light and love to you"

"Hi Robert, Thank you for your wonderful web site. I have enjoyed my visit there this evening immensely. I've learned so much from your articles and am very grateful. I look forward to receiving your book. Please also watch for a small donation as an expression for my gratitude for having this information free and available on the internet for those who need it. Thank you again"

"I am reading your material with great interest -- frankly, I am glued to the screen. . . I absolutely recognize myself in so much of your writings. . . Thanks for your writings. I am SURE God has a hand in your pen,"

"I posted your website on another site,  Anyway, I thought you might like to read some of your "reviews" at the site. A couple of people have ordered the book. I received your book and will continue to support it. As a result of your work, lives will be changed. I know that you have sacrificed a lot because of your work, so I hope you remain encouraged to continue. You have and continue to make a difference in the lives of many."

"I feel like you are an answer to something I have been looking for."

"Hello Iím in recovery for about 10 years Al Anon. Recently I purchased your book the dance of the wounded soul.  Iím glued to the pages of the book and have never wanted to look at myself more. I also have been faithful to reading material on your web site.  I put codependence in a web search and up came you web page and book. I immediately had a connection to the material.  Thank you for such a wonderful honest way of getting healthy. I know Iím on the right path I just need some guidance.  Thank you for demonstrating true honesty in your life that I believe will help me to be emotionally honest with myself and help me learn to heal from the inside out. I know I have to look @ me and deal with my issues but I donít want to put a band aid on a broken arm . I Also thank you for making yourself available to others thru this e-mail what a great gift."

"It will be wonderful to be in your mailing list. I use your material not just in my personal recovery but with the clients I work with. Thank-you for sharing and taking the time to do a good job!"

"I just wanted to let you know I would like to be on your email list.Your site is fantastic !I went to a A,A. meeting 2 years ago and learned about the 12 step program.I have been going to A.A. every since that day march 17,2003 and have 1 year continuos soberity.I have read many books on spirituality but what I have read on your website the last 2 days is the most comprehensive for me.You are doing the world a great service and I thank you for this.I ordered your book last night and am waiting the arrival so I can start learning more.For me you take the 12 steps to the next level.You have helped me understand more clearly why I need to make my amends,I have stagnated here .I was reading poetry at a site I have my poems and a very nice lady gave me your site.SERENDIPITY AS SHE WOULD SAY.Thanks and please keep up the good work!"

"thank you so much for having the courage to share your journey, insights, and experiences with so many. I believe that sharing our stories is very important in the healing process, you sometimes never know how much they have touched/helped someone!  Many blessings on your journey."

"I have enjoyed your on line articles and have read many more than once. I look forward to learning what you offer. Thank you. God bless."

"my name is _____ and i am 23 years old and i wanted to write and tell you how much your inner child healing section helped me..i read it last year when i was 22 ..i was in a rut with my past..i had a lot of wounds from my childhood..i was mentally abused..i tried talking to my parents telling them how i felt and what they did but all i got was "get over it" but i simply couldnt i was made to put my feelings aside as a child i wasnt allowed to say what i felt and anything i did feel i wasnt suppose to feel it.. i was searching online looking for a way to heal my inner child and i came across your site and i started reading and for once you were hitting spots that were so true..and the way i was feeling i wasnt "crazy"  you gave pointers that i should let my inner child know that whatever i went throu as a child i had every right to feel the way i did..i started doing all the things you suggested and after 5 or 6 months of deep healing i felt free....i felt like the past has been lifted and i can move on..that i felt i could say what i felt to my parents and not be in fear like i was as a child...i felt my inner child grew up and i let go of the past and can move foward.. the real test thou is that i am home in the states visiting my parents and i dont clam up..i dont feel like a child anymore and i DO say what i feel and without fear..  i just wanted to thank you for making all that stuff on your website avil to read...it has helped me greatly and i have passed your link on... thank you SO much :)"

"I`m reading your articles and it feels like something that I were looking for, starting when I were 6 years. Excellent, finally."

"I read your site almost every day lately, and have passed it on to friends as well. It has helped me recognize a lot of my fears that are mostly caused by black and white thinking, and how many of them come down to basic core issues. It's true- just recognizing them is the first step in calming them. Thanks again!"

"I am reading your articles on inner-child healing and grief work. I got so excited reading your articles that I could barely contain myself. You understand the entire process, the consequenses and the repcussions of soul wounding,and exactly what culminates if a release and healing does not take place. . .Thank you for your articles, they are so right on. I was just so encouraged reading them. It was like I just kept saying, someone else really does understand and know about the misery I've endured from childhood scaring. I felt a ray of hope surface in my heart. Thank you!"

"Good Morning I was reading an article on the website and came across this thought ìThe missing ingredient for so many people is how to integrate what you know into how you feel about your experience life.î I guess that is why my higher power has led me to you and your teachings.I want this for my life and realize that is why Iím so drawn to your writting.I just wanted to let you know that your material is helping to change the way I think about my life."

"Thank you for sharing your information.  I have already listened to my friend's copy of your tapes and found them remarkable.  Great sense of humor, by the way!     I am not sure what our past relationship was (whether you killed me off or "just" gouged out my eyes as a Roman souldier).  I want to assure you that the debt has been paid.  In a strange way, I feel like listening to your tapes has saved a part of me that I could not reach.  I feel more grounded, more solid, and even more lovable.  My umbilical cord connection to my higher power is much less covered in belly button lint.  My connection with what is going on behind my belly button is much more real and honest.  The mask has come down for longer and longer periods and the joy of life is coming through.  Even though I believe I have never met you in person in this lifetime, for all that you have done for me in this lifetime I consider you friend. Thank you my friend."

"First of all, I would like to thank you for efforts to put together this website.  I am a codependent in recovery myself. It wasn't easy for me to face myself and decided to take some steps to overcome my codependency. And sometimes, when I was reading passages from this website, it was as if I was reading myself.  ..... As I was surfing the net like 3 months ago, I came accross your website, and I never left since then. I visit your website everyday and read. My recovering process is not easy but it is worth it because I have to shout down all those small voices that tell me that I am a loser, and I don't deserve happiness, and all kind of shaming voices in my  head. I came to understand that God is Love, and even if He took my parents away He loves me and He is here all the time to assist me, and He didn't take my parents away, as some sort of punishment. .... I now live in Toronto Canada, and once again I want to thank you for your efforts to share your experiences so humbly."

"I have to write and thank you from the bottom of my heart for this article. I read your article and saw so much that I have had no answers for so many years."

"Hello Robert,  Your ' Dance of  Wounded Souls' keeps blessing me so abundantly. It is helping me get my own being back."

Here are a few of the ones that were specifically about the March Update Newsletter.
"What a wonderful update!  Thank you for sharing with me.   I especially liked this declaration:  "Once again I reaffirm and declare my commitment to being an ally with the Spirit where Love lives instead of with the disease where fear rules. Bring it on Universe!!!!  Whatever it takes!!!!  Screw the fear - I Demand to be Guided to Love!!!"

"WOW - Loved getting your update - truly enjoy reading what you have to share and usually it comes when I most need to hear it "

"Dear Robert: Once again your work in writing always comes along when I need it most.  You have such a gift of insight and an ability to express it in a manner that is clear and helpful to me  What a gift you have and what a gift you are able to give to me as a result.  Thank you very much for taking the time to share.  All best to you!"

"Thank you for the email update.  It has been long overdue but I will take this opportunity to THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for sharing your message.  I have listened to your audio tapes approximately 3,465 times (ok maybe I'm exaggerating a bit) and each time I listen I gain new insight.  You have been truly blessed with this message and I personally am grateful to you for sharing it.  I am not exaggerating when I say that your words give me continued strength and insight to continue to fight the battle within and go thru the pain.  As an ACOA member for 12 years I have been struggling with the devastating effects of codependency my whole life.  Your message is powerful and I wish you continued success in sharing it.  Wish I could do the Spain thing with you but alas my motherly duties take precedence.  Wishing you much much love, happiness and continued success."

(March 6, 2005)
These are excerpts from couple of recent e-mails from a 16 year old girl who has been writing asking me questions periodically for about 6 months.  I am so proud of her.
"I wanted to thank you a lot for your website, it has helped me tremendously. Coming up our school is having a fieldtrip and I was stressing out for some silly reason and reading over important quotations from the website has made me feel better. *I* have the power to make the fieldtrip fun for me, no matter what someone else does *I* have the power to make it better or fix it by myself and by my attitude. So thank you a lot, I know you're helping so many people. :-)"

"Hey Robert, I went to Knotts Berry Farm on Thursday and had an AMAZING time, it was so great! Reading your site helped me so much because I just kept telling myself that everything didn't have to be perfect, it calmed me down so much. Of course, Knotts Berry Farm was not perfect but it was so great that it made up for it's little human imperfections and when I told my Mom all about it, I told her about the positive things first instead of dwelling on the negative. That's what reading your site has done for me--it's made me a calmer person, I've realized that things don't have to be perfect (but they can still be great), and that how I react to others correlates with how I treat myself, I've also learned to be more independent and feeling the feelings. :-) And feeling the feelings, although scary at first really does work and I'm seeing amazing results.

On Wednesday, I lost two people I considered "friends." That night I had an emotional breakdown, I screamed so much my ears were ringing and my head hurt really bad, I was also crying. I felt out of control (but I knew that feeling out of control would not last forever) I think this is what you would deem as "rage" because it was far from normal anger. Anyway, the next day I felt much better (and stronger.)

On another front, about two weeks ago I was feeling annoyed and frustrated with a guy in my Physics class, I had told him that I didn't want to be called something and he continued to call me it. So finally I just said: "I think it's really disrespectful and rude to call me a stupid little girl when I already told you that I don't like it. You can continue to call me that but I won't talk to you" and he said, "you're right, I was totally wrong" and I was like, wow this is so easy! When I was passive agressive he had no idea why I was mad, he was baffled, but finally when I told him things straight out he understood and even agreed. It is so much better to put the feelings on the table instead of stuffing them down, once I let him see how I felt (instead of being rude and passive agressive) he seemed to actually "get it" and hasn't bugged me about it since. . . .

Oh, and I thought I should tell you that you have become a household name in my family, I frequently cite you "well, Robert thinks that..." or something similar.  Anyway, thank you!"

"What an excellent book - Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls."

"I've found your therapeutic work and the spiritual and cosmological canvas you've laid out to be absolutely sanity-saving over the past several years, as I've moved through some difficult points in my own life. I've recommended your writing to a dozen other people in the hope that they'll find similar inspiration, explanation, and solace in the Joy to Me & U site and in your Suite 101 articles."

"Thank you so much Robert.  I enjoy your books and have gained so much and learned so much about myself, it's amazing."

"It is interesting as to how my path has led me back to you.  I had purchased and read your wonderful book, "The Dance of the Wounded Souls".   I've kept it on my bookshelf and, frankly, had forgotten it was there.  However, I am now assisting my brother in an assignment he has for college, a paper on verbal abuse and how it has affected him as a child, and as an adult.  I've been researching for him and found your site. This has brought back to me how wonderful you are.  I am re-reading your book. . . . . . . Your site has come back into my life at an incredibly opportune time.  You are truly an angel that has crossed my path, yet again.  "

"Thanks again for sharing your experiences. It's cleared up so much for me and is helping me on my way to looking at life in a more positive way."

"For what it's worth....Thank You for having the interest and taking the time to put the words down......as painful as they are to read....they hit home....and are gut honest...again, Thank You."

"I don't really know why I am sending this to you, I have been alone my whole life, even when I was married, I was truly alone, and right now I just don't know exactly where to turn. I have been reading your web site for hours, and the way you describe things seems so familiar to me. It is like someone has opened me up, and written down what they found inside of me. Up until about a week ago, I could not have even told you what Co-Dependent was, but I guarantee you I can now."

"WONDERFUL!!  INSPIRATIONAL!!  The help that I was looking for!"

"I just finished your book on Codependence and enjoyed it very much.  I agreed with so much of what you said.  The symptoms you described sounded very familiar to me, however there is definitely much hope for me and all, simply because this problem is recognized and has a name.  There is great joy in understanding, even a little bit, of the problem and knowing that a much greater level of happiness is possible. Your book is one I will enjoy reading over and over.  Thanks for your insights and help.  Much appreciated."

"Your site is amazing. It is me. I didn't grow up with alcoholic parents, but they were/are definitely workaholics. There isn't enough time in the day to express how grateful I am for finding this site. I am just in the beginning stages to recovery and find your site so valuable, as well as the therapist I have been seeing for just a few weeks now."

"Do you ever provide conferences or workshops. (see Upcoming appearances page)  I was reading you site last night it is so freeing.  Thank you."

"Just wanted to let you know - your thoughts and your book and of course your website have made a big difference to me!!"

"I would like to thank you for your web site. It has given me the tools to understand myself in a way that has been truly liberating."

"Although having used the internet for quite a few years, I have never written back to anyone before, but I felt compelled to do so, to you.  Thank you so much for putting your articles and words out there.  I have just spent about an hour reading your many articles. It is the first time I have read anything that speaks FOR me and how I feel. I now realise that I  suffer with co-dependency which is not a label I have ever used to describe my issues."

"I have found the exerpts to be most helpful. I am fighting 3 different cancers as well as my spouse has deserted me at this most trying time.  Your book has helped me reflect on my inner child and codependence.  Great work, and please keep me informed."

"Thanks a million and blessings on your minstry."

"I just read your marvelous book, "The Dance of Wounded Souls" and must say that it's perhaps the most incredible literature I've come across.  I've searched for appoximately 10 years for a sympathetic view to my own spiritual struggle and the conundum of evil in the world, not so much for the sake of altruistic study but because my life has been afflicted with disabling depression over my relationship problems beginning with God, to my family, and into my most intimate girlfriend/spouse.  . . . . . the turbulence of emotional disarray that arose from my own lack of developement and the rational difficulties in my faith have all been exactly addressed within your book.  God bless you for this endeavor and I . . . . ; would like to at least extend my appreciation."

"Your writings on the web have been of great help to me.  I am spreading the word to those I think could be helped by your thoughtful words.  Keep up the good work!"

"WOW!  I am extremely touched and inspired by your words. You described aspects of my being that I barely recognized."

"I happened upon your site, and it has been indeed life changing.  God does have a way of giving exactly what is needed, if we are available to Him. I not only feel inspired after 8 years of AA, I feel connected when I read..."We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience"  I believe your book will be far more than valuable."

"I found your website when I put in "awakening the true self" in Google. . . . I like the distinctions that I read on your site. Thank you for spreading the word.  Thank you for healing the world through you Self and your work."

"Have been reading your articles and they have provided a life-line to me."

"Dear Robert!!!!  Today I came across your page by searching about Magdalene. From there I read about Romantic love and the Adventure in Romance - loving and losing successfully.You on story touched me very much because I am my self on the QUEST for ever and reading you story was almost reading about my self. Interesting enough two days ago I started my new line of affirmation and begins.... I am asking for Divine Guidance and help to connect me to Essence of my creativity....and today already  got STUCK by some memory from distant. past, the energy somehow connected to Jesus& Mary Magdalene ..... obviously connected to issue about sexuality, talking about Universe working for you or coincidence or what ever you wan to call it...so anyway I just wan to let you know that your page was a great source for me ...thanks"

"Thanks for your work and your book. It has helped me immensely and I am now on the path of Recovery. Affirmations DO work! Your website has proved to be a huge help as well. I know in time, with determination, I will move forward towards a better place in my life."

"This latest purchase of mine is actually my 3rd copy of your book; the first was for me, the second for my qualifier, and this one is for my Al-Anon sponsor, ____.  He finds your work as miraculous and powerful as I do.  Please inscribe it to him?"

"I have been browsing through your website and find it very refreshing.. . . . . Reading what you have on the net was great. I am familiar with the AA program and familiar with the fact that it is not dissimilar to what various actual spiritual masters have prescribed as the means for undoing the false sense of "I", the 'me' that appears as the cloud that blocks the sun (the Self) but does not detract from its ability to shine. . . . . Maintaining a website can be a pain, so thanks for providing one of the better ones."

"Congratulations on your excellent page. I really think that you  make a difference in many lives, mine included. I have been working with my codependency issues for many years, have read many books about it, but I really liked your approach dealing with codependency through healing the child within and spirituality."

"I guess it's not important how I came upon your website, the only thing that matters is that you, by your writing, have shown me the Truth, and for that I am eternally grateful. I know we all have the capacity to find the Truth, it's just our fears that hold us back from realizing our full potential. Robert, please let me say that I am profoundly changed and humbled by your writings, inspired by God, which, in turn, have inspired me to help others who are wounded souls, as we all are. I feel I've now found the so-called "Fountain of Youth," the ultimate Truth everyone searches for but few ever find. For that, I cannot thank you enough, I feel blessed."

"I've read excerpts from your book, and I found them fascinating.  Thanks for your articles.  They are very enlightening, and inspiring."

"Robert, again I have to say how profoundly your writing has touched my Heart, allowed me to release nearly 40 years of repressed memories and emotions."

"You don't know how happy I was when I came across your website, totally by accident. "Someone else had this besides me" I thought, and no sooner had I read some of the many quotes, I could feel a sense of tremendous joy come over me. I wasn't alone, and you've don't know what that felt like."

"Your work is monumental in my recovery.  I wanted to thank you for taking the time."

"Your website is full of so much useful information. I have been on a spiritual quest since reading the Conversations with god series last year. I can relate to everything you say so clearly. . . . I have spent the past few days reading all the information on your website and have found it so very interesting and exciting. I couldn't agree more with all that you seem to say. I am really looking forward to reading your book.  Thanks you very much for presenting it to us."

"I write a column for Recovery Times entitled, "What About You?"  My most recent article includes a quotation from your amazing book.  We have it hotlinked directly to your web site.  Go to www.RecoveryTimes.com and see for yourself.  I am a huge fan of yours and am so grateful for your work.  The article is called, "My First Signs of Codependence.""

"I just found your website via Ask Jeeves.  I LOVE it.  It is just what I need.  Please add me to your mailing list. Thanks. Love and light,"

"This brings me up to where I discovered your writings.  In June of this year I found myself suddenly single after being in a long distance romantic relationship.  I did a lot of soul searching and identified some of my issues and did my grief work (I didn't even know what to call it until I read your book) and had been 'out there' willing to meet other people,  make those emotional connections in the hopes of finding a healthy relationship. . . . . He bought me your book "Co-dependancy: Dance of Wounded Souls" on Audio cassessettes.  This is where I have to say I LOVED your book and have spend the last few weeks reading the Suite 101 website, and the JoytoUme website.  Your work really resonates with me. . . . I realize you must be swamped with emails, and I don't actually expect a response.  Part of the reason for this emai is me wanting to tell you how your work has helped me.  As I said before it resonates on levels that... well it REALLY resonates.  I remember driving in the car and laughing my ass off when you said you sometimes called your Higher Power "Fucking Asshole." . . . Goddess bless you for all your good work!"

"I've been hugely admiring your work since 2000. Now is the moment to finally buy the book, since _____ (husband) just scored a PayPal account.  I look forward to reading your wise words somewhere besides online.  Keep up the excellent work."

"You are so Beautiful. You are a Beautiful Piece of God. I admire you for the incredible courage and honesty you had to gather within yourself to emerge through such a mission as your own life's journey. . . . . I could write so much more to you but no need for it, for your book is also my book."

"Thank you for your wonderful web site and for all the work you do to help broken, lost people like me find there way back to the path of hope, healing and happiness."

"I am a counselor (CADC) and probation officer.  I also have been recovering from codependency and alcoholism for 10 years (just got my medallion on Jan 14th).. any way.. I have passed on what I have learned from your website to help many, many people suffering from the torturous disease of codependency.  You are the only person I have encountered that thinks the way I do about the disease.  I am now in graduate school working on my masters in counseling and plan to have my own practice doing inner child work. . . . . . I truly believe, a dry drunk is nothing more then untreated codependency.  Thanks again for all your insight.  I believe the gift that you have is god given.  Take care and god bless."

"I can't believe what I am reading on your web pages. It is as if you are describing my life. Fantasizing to escape feeling in childhood for example. I have reflected on those years and thought, this is how I survived my childhood. Now you are putting words to my feelings. It is amazing. . . . I look forward to reading more of your work."

"I have spent all afternoon reading your articles! I am going to re-read over, and do more work by writing about my hurting inner child. And now realising how the 'Critical Parent' has dominated my progress!!  I have written lots over the past year especially, as part of my therapy, but getting down to 'little Rosies feelings'... I know I need to go that bit deeper over her grief.........Thats why she was kicking and screaming last week!  I am learning all of the time, wish I could meet you!...its an inspiration reading your articles, I live in England, and what I learn.... I will pass on, as there is a giant hole in Mental Health care needs, and so many people are yet to gain from working with their inner child, and heal."

"Your webiste has been a blessing to me."

"I'm so excited about everything I'm reading on your site.  I cannot believe you've been out there all this time and I didn't know it! . . I've been trying for years to work through things and have thought the very same ideas that you write about so eloquently.  Your 'additional level of consciousness', I think of as going into 'observation mode'.  But, I could never quite connect the dots..and I see  now, for the first time, what I was missing.  And I could never find anyone to agree that we have the ability to choose our feelings.  All I run into is, "Well, I can't help how I feel..." . . . Thank you for the work you're doing."

"I came across your name while doing a search regarding the Jesus and Mary Magdalene debate. I must say, what I found on your site far surpassed my expectations. Just a brief read on some of the issues you cover has awakened a surprising drive for more in me.  Thank you for providing this gateway."

"Thank you for your valuable words in what you write on the net."

"I wanted to write to say Thank You for the wonderful web site that you authored and maintain. I have been aware of the 12 step recovery programs for a while and have been standing on the outside looking in until recently. It was the word "divorce" that sent me back into the rooms again. This time though I think I was finally in enough pain to stop thinking I knew it all and started listening and with that started to recover. . . I, through no fault of my own, stumbled (God sent me) upon your site. What a wealth of Knowledge! Written in an understandable language! Thank you for sharing.  PSS My sponsor also has enjoyed your site and has sent others to it through his daily e-mail. We're spreading the word."

"I have been meaning to write to you for a while now to thank you for your wonderful website."

"Hello, I received "The Dance with Wounded Souls" book and tapes last night, Thank-you.  I was fortunate to have a day off today, and managed to listen to the tapes first time through.  There are far too many thoughts and ideas for once through to pick it all up.  The part that grabbed me today was on page 106 about Polarization.  It makes perfect sense to me that our battle began at the tree of good and evil.  It was a relief, really, because even though I knew it was useless baggage, I have been carrying that old Christian idea of Eve's guilt around. I am now going to dump that. . . . Thank-you for sharing your understanding so I can move forward in my own.  Thank-you for a well thought out book.  I look forward to enjoying it over and over and glean something new each time."

"Your website is amazingly helpful. I have done alot of 12 step work over the years. Read many, many, self help books. I am very spriritual. The inner-child stuff is where I really need help. .....This is good stuff."

"My name is ____ and I am a recovering alcoholic, of 23 years, and co dependent (consciously)  of 15 years. I am ordering your book dance of wounded souls, and also getting some inner child information from your web site.  The reason for my email is that I am so intrigued and brought to tears by your biography. . . . .There are not words to thank you for the work you have done and are doing."

"Robert, Thank you so much for the website with all the wonderful healing materials just for me. . . I am writing to you to give you your flowers right now. I could write and write how the pieces of the puzzle are coming together. . . . I don't know where I am going, but I know I ain't lost."

"After reading what I wrote I starting looking into codependency and found your site.  It is helping me greatly to deal with my life.  I wanted to share the story with you and say thank you for your words of help and healing."

"I was originally in touch with you back in 2000, when I first discovered your website and the healing message it contained. I'm an alcoholic and I've been in AA & ACOA since 1997, however, I went back out to do some further "field research" in 2002, an experience that came close to killing me. Like they say, "if nothing changes..." Since returning to the program I've had to get real about myself, and I've had to take an honest look at who I actually am, as opposed to the person I wanted to be, or the person I'd rather you thought I was. As you so eloquently put it in your articles on "Emotional Honesty and Emotional Responsibility", which I've just finished reading, I had to get honest about the "real" cost of my drinking, I had to learn to be able to see it for what it really was, rather than the so called 'escape' I'd fantasised it to be!

"thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!  am i ever glad i found you...great information, meaningful presentation.  hope and help and healing....thank you."

"Robert -- I haven't read your book yet, but will be buying a copy this week for sure.  Don't understand what drew me to the computer tonight or why I typed "Mary Magdelene" in the search engine.  I have done a lot of reading along these lines, which I have felt to be the truth, but reaching your website gives me such a warm feeling that I am not alone in the world -- so much of what you say is my own "gut feeling" about what is real and true.  Robert, please keep the web site up. . . . Thank you for sharing your knowledge and beliefs."

"I have just read some of the webpages on your Joy2MeU.com site and would just like to relay my appreciation for your diplomatic yet convincing tone throughout....and also my gratitude for you sharing these brilliant thoughts with the rest of us.  I am very impressed, and relieved, that people such as yourself exist in today's world. Anyway, Just wanted to say that it's great to know there are people out there who can see the good in the world...like Jesus wanted us to.  Keep up the good work Robert. You are an inspiration to us all."

"Hi, I have come across your site, and may I say how great it is, I'm wanting to purchase the book but trying to find it on the Amazon, uk  web site as it isn't coming up at all." (Unfortunately the book is not available on Amazon Uk - but is on Amazon.com)

(January 12, 2005)
"Thank you SO much! I love your book!  I just wanted to thank you.  I have been searching for an answer to the way I have become since I moved out of home.  I can really identify with what is in your book.  I really don't know how much I could thank you.  You have dramatically changed my life, thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!  May God bless you and increase everything for you.  You are such a godsend.  You have no idea how I feel now that I found this.  I know I'm not the only one and I can't believe that I may be able to have a "normal" life.  Thank you so much!!!"

"hi Robert . . . your site has inspired me to return to school and take the course i have dreamed of for years....thanks so much for a new life."

"Hello dear Robert, Allow me to briefly introduce myself: I am a 45-year old Lebanese woman, married, with two teenage kids.  It is the first time I write to a website author. I just wanted to thank you for making me " make sense" of what has been going on in my life up till now. All the hidden hurt, pain, dysfunction, bi-polarity, all the depression, the suicide attempts (first one was at 12 years old), the hours counting till some merciful god would decide to shut this body down...Through you, I have been able to finally stand up and face the fear. No more concessions, no more throwing dust under the carpet, no more allowing people to abuse me, no more "victim syndrome".  I have been finally able to talk to my parents about the hurt, the need, the fear, the want. And, guess what... :) They both said: "mea culpa", and the most beautiful gift of all is that they BECAME AWARE themselves about their own hurt!!! It was so magical! Such a Holy Instant!!!

I have also realized that I was conducting my spiritual quest backwards, meaning I was trying to get into God the wrong way, using Him as I would a drug or alcohol, in order to numb the "valley of tears" I was going through. Now I now better. I know I cannot reach any meanigful spiritual sense unless I become whole first. I cannot pretend to call Him "Father" if I do not accept, in my core, to be his daughter, in Love, in acceptance, in EQUALITY.  Moreover, I have asked both my therapist and my pastor to take a look at your website, and they both warmly advised me to explore it in depth, as my therapist said:" It is high-quality work" ( he believes that routine inner child self-healing techniques can hurt the person much more than cure them. But here, wow!!!!) :)  Thank you, Robert, thank you for saving so many people from the dark mumbo-jumbo of incoherent and useless stuff any true seeker might encounter on the net, without touching at very core of the problem. It is not enough to numb the symptoms. True strength comes from discovering the cause. God bless you, Robert. Warmest wishes for the New Year."

"Thanks once again for being you, having the courage to do so and the wisdom to speak out."

"I wanted to take moment to thank you for being in the world and for writing this book.  I received the book and tape on Saturday and am so glad I purchased them.  We have read many of the same authors, as I went through a local drug and alcohol counselor training program for what I thought would be a career change, but turned out to be more to heal some deep rooted ACOA issues. I particularly liked Melodie Beattie as well.  I am sharing this book and the tapes with a friend who is at the beginning of her journey.  I feel that since I found your website, I have renewed my journey, as it is almost as if I had been reading a book, put it down for a time, and now am ready to finish it.  I thank you for giving me a sense of order during a time of chaos, for showing me the ability to find light, love and happiness during a time of darkness and pain, and for sharing your ideas and experiences which must have helped thousands and thousands of people to date.  May God bless you greatly for sharing the gifts He has given to you to assist others on their paths to enlightenment and healing!!!!!!!! "

"Thank you so much for the great work that you do.  Your work came into my life at a time in which I very much needed to hear your words.    Thank you for being a part of my journey."

"Dear Robert,
I wrote to you a while back about the grief I was feeling that my youngest daughter (age 19 now) had to "parent" me due to my PTSD breakdown over her last years at home. You recommended that ..."Part of what you can do is letting her know that you are aware that you weren't able to be a very good mother to her in many ways because of what you were going through - and that any time she feels like talking to you about it, you are willing to talk.  In other words, don't try to push things.  Keep working on your healing and recovery, and being available to her..."

I hope I already thanked you for your advice, but anyway, here is the good news.  I have done just what you suggested: I let her know that I know I had not been able to be the mother/parent I wanted to be, and that I admire her for what she did even though I wish she had never had to do so. I told her that if she ever wanted to talk about it, I would be willing.

That was only about 8 weeks ago. I went about my business of recovery, called her when I felt I could  talk with her relatively comfortably, listened past her "stiffness" as she went on to talk freely (every conversation), and was invited to spend Thanksgiving with her!  It was wonderful, heavenly, all I could have hoped for: She asked for my recipes, did many things the way I'd taught her when she was little (and I was well). We shopped together, I admired her new apartment, "approved of" her new boyfriend, and helped her house-clean and do a new craft I had learned.

I wondered what it would be like to ever experience joy--couldn't remember the feeling, to tell you the truth. Okay, who would've thought that taking your daughter out to buy her a plastic tablecloth and potholders would be so lovely? I am blessed; she tells me she loves me all the time now. Oh, I may be on disability, but I am a rich, rich woman. Thank you."

"I would like to thank you for your web sight. I did not realize I was a codependent until I looked up a problem I was having. Your sight gave me the information I needed to know. I went for counseling and attend a coda group. You have no idea how much help you have been. thank you again and keep growing."

"I love reading your stuff.  It helps. I just read this: "The more we heal our childhood emotional wounds and change the dysfunctional intellectual programming the clearer we can see reality. The more we learn to have boundaries, to ask for what we need, to be direct and honest in our communication, the healthier we become in our relationships. Healthy enough to get out of them quickly if we see too many warning signs." (from Healthy Relationships - Part 6, Romantic Love as a Concept)

"I want to THANK YOU for your work and the love that comes thru on these pages.  i have been looking for a while and when i least expected it the universe came thru again. . . . Thank you, thank you, i truly appreciate you."

Dear Robert,  A few months ago I was extremely distressed coming to terms with my codependency.  I think you know well enough the pain, sorrow and grief that goes along with the realization and the events of a broken life leading up to the day when you finally ask the question "Why is this happening to me?"  I found your site and read, and read and read.  At first, I thought oh, I wish I could feel this good about my self and my life.  It's been about two and a half months now and each time I read your pages, I get something new, and something deeper about what I've already understood.  I am here again tonight, reading and I realize how I am actually looking forward to my future and my life.  I guess it takes reading your words over and over for the reality of a loving life to finally begin to take form.  I am in therapy now and I am deeply committed to myself and my 'self' I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your true giving of self, your honesty and your generousity in posting your information online.  I am going to buy your books and recommend them to all.  Again, thank you for making such a difference in my life and lives of the people I love.  You have touched many."

"I just discovered your web site as I was looking for a piece of work entitled "Letting Go" in preparation for a New Year's program during a 12-step Celebrate Recovery program at ______ Church in _____, NC.  As a counselor and one of the leaders, I am celebrating recovery from co-dependency myself.  I am enthralled with your site, will forward the web site to other leaders in this ministry and will definitely purchase the book.  Thanks for your work--I can't wait to delve into it."

"I "googled" the word heartbreak one day and found your websites and couldn't stop reading! I ordered your book immediately! Can't wait to get it....even ordered it Priority!....lol Looking forward to moving forward! Thank You"

"Thank-you.  I can't tell you how directly your article on Christ Consciousness and Jesus and Mary Magdeline have meant to me.  I have been on a quest for understanding for a long time.  I belong to an email 12 step emotions anonymous group that led me to do some inner child work. . . .I took level 1 and 2 Reiki, and only practiced it for a short time until my old fundamentalist beliefs convinced me that I may be sinning -severing my line from eternal life.  As I reverted back to my old beliefs, I lost the feeling of joy and well-being that I was only beginning to cherish as part of myself.  My Higher Power led me to your website and your thoughts on Jesus give me new understanding that can stand up against some of my old shame-based inner voices.  I have already ordered your book and tapes, so can hardly wait for them to arrive.  It was only yesterday that I discovered your writing on Jesus - something very crucial to those of us raised in the abusive understanding of Christianity.  I cannot deny Jesus - my inner voice tells me I will burn in hell if I do , but also I feel the reality of Jesus - and I can change my understanding because the old understanding just was not filling me with joy, Love, laughter or peace.  I will just let this settle into me, and know that Higher Power will take me where I am to go next.  Thank-you for sharing your insights."

"Well let me tell you.....i never imagined coming across something that will change my life forever i'm sure! My name is --- and i am just about to start this process of healing. My husband thinks i am such a mystery that he cant even begin to figure out! After all is said and done, i wont be a mystery anymore, finally someone can help me help myself....thank you!"

"I'm reading your book right now Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.  I'm really touched & it is incredible, Truth, Inner Child, etc.  Everything is so true."

"All I can say is "WOW" Hello Robert, and Thank you!!  The reason I say this is because I found your site at just the right time in my life. . . . . . But anyway, going back to the reason I say WOW!  When I read how you described  disease --  "a disease is a disturbance in a natural process - literally dis-ease, a lack of ease, of harmony"  -- It totally hit home, I knew it, and something you mentioned on another topic - " there are no mistakes, no accidents, no coincidences" .. everything is unfolding perfectly!   WOW!!  You are so right, the fact that I found your site proves it!  I am finding comfort in the fact that I am not alone, and I really do believe that we are here for a Divine Purpose - to learn, grow, and heal so that we may go on. I am going to be doing a lot of reading, and soul searching. I would say wish me luck    but I think things are pretty much planned. Now I just need to learn how to start healing, learn, grow, and accept what I cannot change, and change what I can. Thank you!!"

"I have just finished with your tapes and books and passed them on . . .Thank you,...............thanks Robert, i hope you have a life with lots of loving, joyful, wonderful experiences and that any darkness empowers you to shine your light still brighter."

"I just want to say Thank You for all you insite and for sharing your experance. I found your site only 2 weeks ago. It has made a difference all ready. I have shared the site with a number of friends and they have found it helpful to."

"My name is  ---- and I have found your website wonderful. . . Thank you for your website it is really good."

"Your article was outstanding.  I particularly enjoyed reading about how our feelings and experiences in childhood deeply can have an impact on how we see ourselves in our adult life. . . .Thank you so much for also helping me to understand and view God in a different way.  I recently stop going to church because I felt that it was not healthy for me.  Now, I understand that the people at church had an unhealthy view of God--thank you for reminding me that God is an unconditional loving God.  Your article also gave many practical tips for overcoming the feelings and the thinking process of co-dependents.  This is the first time in my entire life that I had the time to think and reflect upon the co-dependent nature within my family.  I am learning not to beat myself up about my imperfections and also learning to reinterpret my feelings and emotions. . . . Again, thank you so much for this article---I will be telling my family and friends about the great insights and wisdom on your web-site.  I enjoyed reading it and I even took notes."

"Thank you for this profound work- that I can relate to."

"Just a little note to say - thank you - for giving me directions to a better way of living (I may not always be able to stay on the path - but at least I have a map now)  I am so grateful that I found your website (about a year ago now), I check in regularly for guidance, support, understanding, enlightenment and truth!  Thanks for the wonder that is you!"

"Re: Your article on suite101.com - Hello- I found your article on 'fear of intimacy' incredibly fascinating. I am still (very) deeply affected by a relationship that ended for me some 14 years ago now. The love of my life found me, and I turned and ran from it. . . . I had a very lonely, unaffectionate childhood and at 24 (at the time) she was my first (and probably last) love. It amazes me how it tangled my mind and how I didn't know what I had in her. Your article offered some comfort to me that there had to be something wrong (with me) at the time, and I'm still trying to understand what it was."

"I consider it such a priveledge to write to you.  I recently viewed the website about codependency and joy2meu.  It really had a lot of valuable information and it was comforting to read something that was so well understood by someone.  If only it was as easy to apply it as to reading it!"

" Recently I have been hearing very fleeting discussions on the subject of Jesus being married. The discussions were fleeting because no one seemed to want to really find the truth. The subject is a taboo item. It is as if one is in danger of being struck by lightning if one dares to voice the name of Jesus and sex in the same line.  In recent years I myself had begun to wonder about man's attitude (more specifically western Christian man's) toward his sexuality.  The attitude made human sexuality seem like some sort of necessary evil. It is as if the worse gift that the Creator could have given to man was his sexuality. But I say that if sex is a crime, then the evidence is overwhelming. Nature all around us screams sex and sexuality.  I stumbled across your site and read it with delightful interest. Your statements about touching were very much on target.  I believe that the human need to be touched begins with a simple handshake and ends with the ultimate touch which is copulation.

Anyway just thought that I'd drop you this line to let you know how much I enjoyed your site, and I will follow up on all the links and keep reading.  You just keep on writing Sir. There maybe many readers who like myself are on the same page with you. Your writing which you may regard as a mere flashlight may well develop into a major floodlight."

"I was referred to your website from a friend.  I love your site."

"Thanks for taking all necessary steps to achieve inner healing so you could be a guide out here for so many of us.  My name is ____.  I too have taken time out, in a big life transforming way, to find out the why about my being, and the how I should be living.  The answers lead inward to ongoing transformation, and outward to ongoing service, as you no doubt know.  In the country my name is associated with personal growth.  For several years I hosted call-in  radio programs on growth and development, relationships, and spirituality.  I with the support of several others, am about to produce a monthly paper addressing relationships, growth and development, spirituality, and holistic development in general.  We hope to bring help to many, here in Trinidad, in the Caribbean region, and in Caribbean populations beyond the region. . . . . . . I have been reading your articles, and would like to have your permission to print any of them in our paper, giving you full credit.  Everything you say in each article is information and self-help needed by so many out here."

"I discovered your site four or five years ago.  I don't remember exactly how.  I suspect that on a dark evening I did a search for some dark term - depression, suicide - I don't remember.  Some internet magic led me to your site. Thank you very much for your saving rope of words."

"I'm a nurse in Boston and have been reading your stuff for a long time. . . . I have found comfort in your words. . . . . Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with the world.  It really makes sense to me."

"my name is ----, and i'm a recovering co-dependent.  i absolutely *loved* how you described the evolution of the term 'co-dependency' on your wounded souls tape -- i see it exactly the way you described it!!!. . . . .  i've listened to your 'wounded souls' tape twice, and am planning to listen to it again and discuss it with a very dear friend of mine who is new to inner child work, and looking forward to starting his healing in that area  . . . . i am *so* enjoying listening to your tape, and sharing it with my friend (i bought us both copies of it, by the way...  and i think that was money well spent!)  keep up the good work!!!"

" I've been reading your articles for the last 6 months and they have given me important insights in happy moments,  incredible support in difficul ones, and that awesome feeling of having contacted a kindred soul. Thank you for sharing your ideas and feelings."

"Hello Robert,In my excitement of having found you, I do not wish to forget to ask to be added to your e-mail list.  I have already ordered you Dance of Wounded Souls.  Every word that you have written has profound meaning to me.  I am 71-years young. . . . . You are probably the only person in the world, I feel, to understand what I have been subjected to the past few years.  Now that I know there are others out there who also like me are suffering, it somehow makes my situation more bearable.  In anticipation of receiving your book, I have just printed up the two lots of 8 pages, with the extracts from the book. This will help me ' last', until your book arrives.  I feel you have given me a new lease of life.  God bless you abundantly for all the wonderful work you are doing out there for us males. Best wishes always - Latvian Born"

"I just returned from a road trip from Ann Arbor to Chicago...I listened to your tapes multiple times there and back and they are fabulous.  Thank you so much."

"I look forward to receiving your book and continuing my journey to become an emotionally healthy adult."

"Hello & thanks for sharing.  I just got through reading several of your articles which have made a really strong impact on me - bringing me to tears.  I can relate to and identify with many your experiences since I have had many similar issues.  This past year has been both enlightening and painful as I am going through a divorce and have reached a new level of consciousness where I am discovering the same issues and behavior patterns that you describe.  It is comforting to read about someone who has gone through a similar experience and has come through on a progressively healthy path.  The extent of my codependency is still shocking and painful to me as I process what I subjugated myself to in order to deal with my own neurosis.  I have been making great progress and have been seeing a therapist since February.  I have read many self help books including all of Harriet Learner, which have helped with understanding this whole life experience.  I look forward to reading more of your articles and I just wanted to express my gratitude to you for sharing your observations and thoughts."

"I have been reading your website for some time now and have found it to be immensely informational and helpful. I feel like I have finally put a name  on whats "wrong" with me ? Codependence."

"One last thing I just wanted to mention that your site is the best co-dependency site I have seen online, and I have seen your book Codependence: Dance of the Wounded Souls advertised or mentioned on many of the other co-dependency websites I have visited."

"Happy Holidays and I love your site!"

 "Your book was a great inspiration to myself. As i started reading it, it was like it had been written just for the way i have felt all of my life. And i said to myself my god someone finally understands the way i feel. A good friend of mine gave it to me to read, because i have been having a hard time with life and felt it was falling down around me. But now i have a different out look on things it's like its all going to the way it should. SIMPLY PERFECT.  There was a couple of things that help me to understand why other people do the things they do and i am not to blame they are simply in the codependence stage of their life and are not ready to forgive yet. As was i.  I loved your book The dance of wounded souls so much i want to buy it for everyone i know to help them understand themselves more. . . . . Thank you for your inspriation into a new less angry life."

"Robert, thank you so much for sharing so unselfishly this wisdom and help. I'm sure you are touching thousands of walking wounded such as myself and god will and is blessing you for your kindness. Thanks again."

"Thank you for creating that web page. It has opened my eyes and certainly made some things clearer for me on this journey."

"I am wishing you some sense of the gratitude and appreciation I am having for you this holiday season.    I stumbled onto your site, writings and ordered your book just a few weeks ago, my first venture into acknowleding my own co/counter dependency and trying to understand why every one of my relationships has failed so miserably.  My process so far has been deeply moving and cathartic.  I am 2/3 through the book, savoring every page, and marinating each with tears.   I delivered the second copy of your book anonymously to the wonderful and wildly hurting woman whom I tried so hard to be connected with the past year and a half.

I am praying for her healing, while focusing on my own.   I doubt she and I will ever connect, but the understanding and acceptance about why we were so good/terrible together has been a blessing.  Thank you dear man and may all my relations bless you and guide you on your own path.    I will say a prayer of thanks and blessing for you tomorrow when I sweat in the lodge . . . . Peace and love brother."

"Thanks for your website and book, which I've purchased and found healing in it. . . . . .you seem to have deep insight into subselves and personal healing . . . .I respect your opinion highly after reading your book and reading articles on your site . . . . . Keep up the excellent work on educating people on the many topics found on your site and in your book. It has helped me as a tool in my healing."

"Just wanted to say this is a GREAT site and that I look forward to a copy of your book."

"I am only up to Inner Child Healing Paradigm.  WOW!  I can only say that your website came at the right time and the right place.  I have suffered my entire life of Anxiety and Internal Fear, that would knock ones socks off.  I started therapy  for the fourth time a few months ago.  My Doc started talking about Healing the Inner Child so what the heck I typed it in the search engine and pop, you came up.

I have never been so focused on my behavior EVER before and its makeup - finally I see the light a the end of the road and finally I am beginning to understand.  I don't think "Thank you" really expresses my gratitude for your writings, but I will say it away for lack of anything else to say right now.  Thank you!"

"I am looking forward to receiving your book and reading it.  The title was very aptly descriptive of how I feel about myself and my life.  I am glad you wrote the book."

"the website is full of interesting information, it really makes a lot of sense to me, although I have so far only touched the surface of this subject I think!"

"As for your book thats my second order,its for a friend. While waiting for mine to come in i read a friends copy,could not put it down,as well as your websites...Life changing stuff!"

"I'm writing from Brazil and I´ve been reading your website about codependence, etc. and it's a short period of time that I discovered myself as a codependent. . . . Thanks for your time and all the website!"

"Thank you for your email, and for your book and website!  It is the single most helpful site on the internet. Here in Hungary I don't see much of a movement unfortunately for Inner Child Healing. There are some good therapy groups, but nothing regular that would keep me on the right track."

"I discovered your pages and have been devouring them. I have also ordered your book from Amazon.  Whenever you write about your own childhood experiences, I'm going  "Hey, that sounds like my childhood!""

"dear Robert, thank you first of all, I went to your web site and knowingly knowing I too need help and healing. I was very pleased with all that you do and your process, in helping people as myself.(that need to heal their inner-child to move on)"

"Robert, I have enjoyed all the information on your site, thank you very much for freely sharing it with me."

"Hello, Robert I have tried calling 3 stores in california where I live and I can't find the dance of the wounded souls. I want to buy it for both my parents and give it to them as a gift for chritmas I also want to keep a copy for me. I was researching about emotional abuse about 3 days ago and came across your website and I've been reading for 3 days this website is so wonderful because I feel that I finally have the answers for why I have been sad and hopeless and angry all my life and I've been crying for three days and whenever I read some of you experiences I cried with you because I can relate and I am so grateful to have come across your website I think my prayers to god to help me find the answers have finally been answered. Please tell me where I can buy this book?  Why it is not being sold anymore?  (It has never been carried in the chain stores - but is definitely still being sold, see info at the bottom of this table.)

It is worded so great I am getting teary eyed again and I am  finally starting to feel the joy that has been robbed from me all these years. I just had to share that with you I feel this book is so powerful and so true that I feel that 3 days ago I was reborn again it is hard after I stop reading to actually take the action but I go back and read and then feel strong all over again. I want enlighten my parents too because they unhappy and are trying to find answers but can't."

The following ones were in response to my December 2004 Update Newsletter.

"Thank you for this greeting.  I have listened to your tapes so many times that when I read your greeting, it was almost as if I could hear the cadence of your voice saying the words.  I live in Michigan near Ann Arbor and plan to attend your workshop in Akron in May, so I hope to have the opportunity to meet you in 2005.  Thank you for sharing your love and vision and honesty with us...many new to the journey of the spirit, acceptance and unconditional love.  Peace and love,"

"Dear Robert:  "Thank you," with all my heart and soul for this profound and unbelievably true message.  You sent me your book, "Dance of Wounded Souls" in September, which I have now read twice.  It has changed/given-me-hope-for my life (I have reluctance admitting that aloud for fear of jinxing myself.....)....but it is a fact. I have been remiss in sending you my thanks and appreciation for you sharing your recovery, your personal hard work, and most of all, your courage and skill(?--lack of a better word at the moment) for sending forth your experiences, knowledge, insight, foresight, love, etc., etc., etc.   You are one of my angels, and even though I know I did the work to find you, as you say, there are no accidents or coincidences, we are on a path....  I love you and hope to shake your hand one day if not give you a hug."

"Dear Robert, Thank you for being you and doing the wonderful work you do. Thank you for sharing it so generously!  I have been saying most mornings, "I am a Spiritual Being full of Light (and Life)  and Love!" many, many times while I do my strengthening and stretching exercises. I think the words while I do my acupressure techniques. I am doing better than I have in a long time just holding my own space, maybe even the best I've ever done with that! Bless you! May you experience the Best of Christmases! May your New Year be the best and highest of your life!  Many Blessings to you!"

"a big thankyou for your newsletter (happy/sad holidays) on christmas day, just what i needed to read to get me back on self love."

"hey----right on essay--thanks---love to u"

"Thanks a lot for this timely message.  After having supper with dear friends, I am now at home , alone and in peace.  After my separation, it took me many years to feel like that  on a Christmas evening.  Or even during my married years... But now my ex is my friend, I am my friend, and therefore real friends are being attracted."

"Robert... Thank you for being like a piece of crystal.  Thank you for each surface you offer, that the sun may espouse you with sparkle and shine.  With Gratitude for your work."

"I've been reading your articles for the last 6 months and they have given me important insights in happy moments,  incredible support in difficul ones, and that awesome feeling of having contacted a kindred soul. Thank you for sharing your ideas and feelings."

"still love your articles.......they touch me like a tibetan singing bowl . . . much love vibration bowl"

"Also, thanks for the holiday update.  I concentrated more on the real reason for the holiday and what things did make me feel good and was able to appreciate the time and be calm."

"Thank you for the holiday update and newletter.  It was very informative and just what I needed about now. Want to wish you a softer, kinder year and hope you will continue all the good work you do for so many.  As always I use your sight for many, many helpful ways to understand what I need to know without having to always be asking somebody for help, it goes so well with my face to face meetings and all the ways I keep trying to 'grow-up'.  I say that with tongue in cheek but it's true, that is exactly what I need to do and am doing.  My heart went out to you as you tell of your own growth struggle and yet all I can say is "well done."  I know we all have it to do.  You are courageous."

"You do wonderful work and should think very highly of yourself."

"I am so very grateful for you in my life. to this day you are an amazing person who has and can share such intimate life experiences. Thank you. You are truly a gifted healer!!"

"And I wanted to email you, to make sure you were OK, knowing that you don't even know who I am,  but I came to the computer and turned it on, and there was your name,  and it was YOU emailing US ALL, to ensure that WE all feel OK this day when many of us are alone despite the children running around us, and the presents and the food............Thankyou for brightening my Christmas Robert, for being the thoughtful, loving one you are;  if Jesus were to be here today, I believe he would be doing exactly what you are - getting the Truth out there to as many as possible, in as loving and compassionate way as possible,  and knowing that THIS time it would be part of the mass changing of the consciousness of Humanity, to bring about a New Age of LOVE and PEACE."

"Hi Robert. I was introduced to your site about 5 years ago and when I can get to it, I enjoy it very much. Very helpful topics and issues. I read in your update that you will be here in the Akron, Ohio area in May 14th, 2005. . . . I look forward to hearing you. Thank you and God Bless, "

"Thank you for this reminder.  You confirm my thoughts exactly and I guess I did my best this year within the limits of the enormous amount of illness I now see and hear in my family.  It was a pretty good festive season and a fantastic celebration to bring in the New Year.  I just adore seeing one year out SOBER and a new year in SOBER.  What a gift we are privileged to receive. . . . Bless you for all the help you have given me in the past through your book and tapes.  Where would I be with out them (you), I wonder???????  Prosperity, peace, fun, joy and love for 2005."

"I read most of your Christmas Eve message, and saved it as I need to digest what I read to this point.  It makes perfect sense to me.  I really like the horizontal and vertical alignments.  About 3 years ago I was sent a similar mental picture of myself, floating on a small island and the insistant urging that I align upward, because I was bent at the waist trying to reach over to my husband.  I am learning to reach outward to him and others in an upright manner, and life gets better and better.  Your writings are like ah ha's - explainations of what some of the messages I have been receiving mean.  It is just so AMAZING how Higher Power works when we let it."

(November 22, 2004)

This first one is referrering to a workshop I did at a Bay Area CoDA mini-conference in October.
"I loved your talk at the CoDa Conference yesterday - it was the most eye-opening, heart-opening couple of hours of the day for me. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and your wisdom with us. The idea of the Critical Parent being deeply embedded in us really hit home for me.....and answered a question people who know me have asked: with all that you have going for you, _____, why can't you just relax and be happy? Anyway, I wish you all the love and happiness in the world for doing such good work."

"I am loving your Web site and getting so much from it, it's like a soothing balm on a bad sunburn. Thank you so much for creating it and putting so much valuable information - and love - into it."

"May I introduce myself, my name is _____, and I am an avid believer in your work, I have the book and tapes and the knowledge contained becomes more and more meaningful to me as I keep listening (almost daily).  For me you have been the ìIcing on my cakeî of recovery and just make so much sense. . . . .  a friend introduced me to your work back in 2002.  I was blown away with all the identification, sense I found in your words and recognition of a whole lot more healing I could do and want to do for myself."

"This morning I was attempting to find information regarding the Dead Sea Scolls.  As with many mysteries of life I was connected with your web site, the information I found was what has been needed to continue on my path.

Thank you so very much, my heart is filled with joy, my soul soars, of the many, many blessings I have received thru this information....I am speechless in wonder, enjoyment and gratitude for your loving helpful hand.  Truly this is priceless for me and again, thank you.  Blessed be to you and all with peace, love and joy"

"Hi.. I read your webpage on love and abuse.. and it was just great--the way you worded everything."

"Thanks for having the courage to change the things you can and doing so. This action of yours; your book and audio tape; have probably saved my life.  I love the realism; the intellectual mixed with the emotional; and well a parallel to my way of thinking. Good luck on this endeavor called life and being a spiritual being having a human experience. This makes allot of sense to me."

"I purcahsed your book several weeks ago and have enjoyed it immensely."

"I felt a need to write you on how I found your wonderful site. I was doing a search on Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Then I found your Web Site. I liked what you wrote about the couple. I then read more about healing the enter child. Well to get to my reason, my mom told me a story about a baby and dirty water. That was the very first time I had heard this. Through your site I came upon the story a second time. I know am going down a path through a door with a lesson to learn from you. It was no mistake that I found your site. The only thing for me now is to learn from what you have freely given. The All Loving Being works in ways that just makes me smile with joy.Thanks for the gift you have given me by your higher being of self. Also thanks for toughing my young soul and my old spirit."

"This morning I stumbled upon your website.  I have been on it now for two hours and I have to tell you... it touched me to the core."

"Robert, I listen to you in my car, when I am driving along.  I listened to the tapes about a year ago when I purchased them and I am STILL learning from them.  So many of the spiritual teachers tell us to think of ourselves in the now, which is great, but when the past keeps coming up and biting you on the bum, it is it almost impossible to stay in the now, and what happens to me, is that I keep going through the same growing process over and over again, because I am not learning what the pain is telling me.

By listening to your tapes, I have been attempting to feel all the pain of my horrendous childhood, without become a victim of it, or blaming anyone, including myself, and very slowly I am feeling a difference.  You, by your experiences and continued recovery, are making a difference to my life and I wanted you to know that. So thank you for sharing it with me/us"

"I love everything u are saying and i've been feeding on your writings for 2 days."


"I purchased the book and audio set a couple of years ago and they have immensely helped in my recovery process."

"I wanted to tell you what an inspiration your website has been for me. I have read and enjoyed your book and agree with it pretty much in its entirity. I have sent it to my mother to read, and although it was hard to part with it, I think that everybody should read it.  I really enjoy your website, because it allows me to pinpoint what I am feeling and what the problem is and read a related article. I hope you keep up the good work for many more years, because you are really helping and touching us out here in cyberspace."

"I really enjoy your website...it talks about the answers that I have been looking to find for a long time."

"My friend gave me your book and tape almost two years ago and I refused to read it or listen to it. It sat on the shelf in my living room. Then when I had hit my lowest I put myself in therapy and pulled it out your book and could not put it down. I still have a lot of work to do but I feel stronger than I ever have before. I no longer feel void of emotions and can actually feel feelings I have never have before. As hard as they are they are very clear. So 36 years later I was feeling grief for the first time ever of all my losses. Your book has helped me look at the process of healing in a completely different way. . . It has taken me 40 years to come face to face with face who I am and accept that I am a much better, stronger person than I ever thought possible. "

"Thank-you for your inspirational website and writings, they helped me to get through an emotionally challenging weekend.  Your dedication to your work and sharing of positive energy is truly kind!"

"Thanks. God is so loving. It is my 52nd birthday . I am experiencing some grief and new my little girl needs to heal at a deeper level. So , I came to my computer and look what I found. YOur web site.!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the birthday present. I have been on this healing journey for about 14 yrs. The AA recovery will not address these issues. And I am sick of going back and trying to talk about my grief with no acknowledgement. Soooo, here is where I begin.  Happy Birthday  _____. THanks Robert. GOd Bless. I look forward to using your web site and reading your book and articles. I am ready for the next level of my recovery . I want to fly like angles. Is this not why we are here , to get ready to fly?"

"I've just discovered your web site, and I think that it is so wonderful and informative."

"i have been reading over your site for the past few weeks. It has helped me so much on my journey. I have seemed to let go of many of the lies my desease has been telling me...i have a desease that tells me i have a desease ..i have known this for years....but now i know i was on the money with out gettiing real help. ....i need to keep reading the info u have avaliable to me because i can only absorb so much at one time ...i am seting myself free one day at a time ..........thanks so much."

"Actually, I find you fascinating and scary.  I find myself drawn to your work (because Iíve had many of the same thoughts), but I donít really want to read it.  I'm evaluating why exactly I feel that way.  Perhaps it has to do with me leaving the Spiritual path many years ago but now finding myself being compelled to turn to it again and struggling against that compulsion because of how it will change the present course of my life.  Damn I hate life sometimes.  Oh, and if Oprah calls goÖ.you MUST go mainstream for the sake of those who are looking for you but don't know where to look and to hell with the rest of them."

"I came across your website and found your information quite insightful."

"I hope this email finds you as I feel as if your insite and years of soberiety are an inspiration to me.  I am fighting with myself right now, trying to find answers to so many questions and I desparatly seek spiritual relieve from my hurt, anger and pain.  Funny how this catapolted yesturday.  I guess if I am going to be honest, I have felt it coming for a long time, but yesturdays events sent me searching for a meaning to this "feeling" that I needed to be doing more.

You see, I am a workaholic...still.  So I have been using work as an excuse to avoid my program.  In the interim I have been experiencing a number of health problems that by my doctors account have no medical explanation.  Reading the information on your website has energized me and put clarity where once lived confusion.  Your words inspire me to continue to battle the demons within and have put hope back into my vocabulary.

I have written all this to say thank you.  I am sure you know that your teachings have the ability to change lives and I wanted to take a moment to let you know that it has and will be a huge motivator in mine!!  Thank you for the courage to put into words what I have experienced.  Thank you for showing me that there is still hope for me.  Thank you most for taking the time to put together a website that is abailable to everyone!!"

"Your site is helping me a whole lot more......I want to say, I absolutely LOVE your view on God......I just want to say thank you for sharing all this with the world over the internet.  You have made at least one person not feel alone."

"I cant describe how I feel when I read your words. I have many feelings. You are so right on in describing codependence and the inner child. I have been looking all my life thinking one of these days I would find the right "thing" that would heal me. I didnít want to work on it myself. Now I read your pages like a dry well looking for water."  God bless you for allowing us to learn from you. I hope you never stop writing, whether it be by book or internet. The number one thing for me to heal myself from is being from the "church of Christ" and believing I am going to hell. My problem is wanting to read all of your pages right now today!"

"I have the courage to detach myself and begin the healing of my inner child.  Through your words I found the strength to believe that I can be the parent to myself and my son that I have always wanted to be.  I now know the feelings I felt yesturday are a by product of bigger issues and I feel confident I can handle them... I am not going to run from them."

"Thank you for your email.  I look forward to receiving the book and tapes.  As I read through your site last night, so much resonated that I am sure I will be a frequent visitor to the site."

"Bless you for providing so much wonderful information on the internet!  Take satisfaction that you have helped me tremendously with this information.  I was spending another weekend crying & obsessing over allowing someone to hurt me for the HUNDREDTH time and not understanding why I let it happen over and over again.  And reading your site just changed my entire perspective.  It's like a door just opened up within myself - a door that was always there, but I never bothered to open the door to see what was behind it.  I never knew what codependency was.  I asked a girlfriend who had a similar problem of having a difficult time getting out of a bad relationship and she told me she went to codependency meetings.  So I looked it up on the internet and found your site.

Your site is written about me, to me and for me.  I thought codependency was people who didn't do things for themselves and depended on other people.  I'm an independent woman, so that was not ME - I never realized there was a lot more to it."

"I have very much enjoyed your website so far and even started on the Jumpstart Your Recovery exercises. I have NO DOUBT I will find your book valuable."

"I find your writing to be very refreshing and something that resonates deeply with what i feel is a genuine, humble and loving way to interact with the world. thank you for using your voice - you do so very well. love to you."

"I have come across your website Joy2meu and read it daily. . . . Your web page has been inspirational and educational . . . Keep writing your work, it really can inspire people."

"i've been reading your work on Suite 101, and have found answers to questions that have plagued me for a lifetime.  thank you.  the biggest puzzle piece that i found tonight was why i have trouble combining emotional intimacy and sexuality.  your article on Emotional Incest provided an answer that made sense instantly.  again: thank you."

"Thank you for getting the book to me so quickly.  It was helpful and I enjoyed reading it. I am also a mystic and it is so refreshing to read spirituality that rings true to me."

"I thought I'd take a moment to send you a quick email thanking you for the info you share on your website.  I visit a lot of websites and yours is the first that covers so many topics that are of intense interests to me (inner child healing, spirituality, dysfunction, etc.).  You have quite a
collection of articles and I'll be taking my time reading thru them."

"I enjoy your website. . . . Thanks for the website and i hope to find answers and growth in your words."

"Thanks for your email. Itís not often that one gets a thank you for purchasing something online. I came across your web site when I was trying to sort out why Iím at a critical crossroads in my life right now and how best to proceed. I found the material you had written on the ìlost child/adjusterî really interesting and applicable. Iím just starting to come to terms with that after 45 years of living on this blue/green ball. I look forward to receiving your book."

" hi, just read your book, I'm 41 and still living in an abusive co-dependent relationship. I grew up on metaphisics am native american and majored in Psych. Go figure... all the right ingrediants an I still have to learn MY lessons! Anyways, you wrote what I needed to SEE Thank you."

"Dear Robert, a good friend of mine introduced me to your writing on the net. Thank you very much for your approach; it has made me see into problems of the past from a different perspective."

"I received your book in April, about one year after I "crashed" from alcohol abuse, sex abuse, and suicide attempts.  It has been a wonderful enlightenment for me, thank you so much.  I am on a good recovery path for my Human Condition.  At 60 I am suddenly waking up. Thanks."

"What a precious, precious human being you are.  I was directed to your website while looking up the word codependence.  My past has been riddled with much heartache and disappointment in relationships; family, friendship, romantic.  I have been looking for the answers as to why I have screwed up my life for what seems like forever.  A friend of mine, 11 years ago, suggested that I might be codependent.  I refused to listen, and became defensive and beligerent with him.  I guess I wasn't ready to accept that yet.  I have been brought to my knees recently because of remembering things from my past, and realizing how the decisions I've made (and the decisions I chose to let others make for me) have affected myself and others in the present.  I realized that I have actually been abusive to other people, which hurts me deeply. I had up to that point, thought of myself as being so sweet and kind to everyone I knew (especially men).

I began reading through your information on relationships, and was hooked when you referred to yourself as "beautiful."  I was amazed that a man would refer to himself that way.  Most men would be severely offended, or even hurt, (from my experience, that is) to be called "beautiful," because they relegate that term to a woman's outer appearance.  I have logged on twice, and the last time, when I read the part about Earth being the real hell, and we have already experienced it, I clapped my hands and smiled!  I just had a similar revelation to that a mere few weeks ago!

You have such awesome insight, and such a gentle approach to humanity.  I was so happy to read what you said about sexuality and making love.  So many men (and, I suppose, women) take sex to mean a penis and a vagina, and nothing more.   Thank you so much for your work, your book and your website.  I will be back to visit it again and soon.  You are doing God's work on earth, and I pray He smiles down on you and gives you protection, so that you can keep going and reaching as many people as possible."

"Thank you again for the wonderful words in your web-site, I am still heeding them closely, they ring so true."

"mr burney.  i wanted to thank you personally for your note to me.  i have begin the inner child healing process.  i got your information off the net and made a copy for my therapist.  we have discuss how much it sounds like me.  i have found 7 seven inner children i am working with right.  it is stressful but the spiritual part is wonderful. i would love to share that with you .  i see you have telephone conversations with people.  i would love to talk to you someday.  i am 57 years as of nov. 17th.  i made my first choice in life by myself on nov. 15th.. it was a exciting experience.  i have and continue to try to love them.  i thought it was only one time and i was done.  you opened my eyes that it is a lifetime process.  this is what i thank you for.  i have learned so much from your writings and i know i will continue."

"Thank, Thank You, Mr Burney...At last "real" help for my case.  I have been reading all your materials gobbling it up like a starved child, so very hungry to read I have been thinking and feeling for years.  I see me all over the place. I will stay in touch later for my progress. I am still in awe that at this season, age 67, in recovering 29yrs I am going to do this, heal the inner child, or begin. I worked in the field of substance abuse for 19yrs, retired, and am a stroke survivor too.  I keep saying Ah! Ah!...My main partner is mother, age 92. I have allowing her to harm me all my life and in just one week I had the courage to detach from her again, this time for the right reasons.  I had been such in a hurry to get into forgiveness because God would get me...Regardless of my health challenges or mother age I am not in such a hurry to get it right.  God Bless..."

"It give me such a pleasure when surfing the Web to find a site such as yours...thank you."

"I love your website...I am learning so much!  I have a quick question...can two co-dependents be married?  Or is just one of the partners co-dependent?  What happens when two co-dependent people are married?"
answer: I believe that codependence is the human condition - that is outer/external dependence.  So, yes, both partners are co-dependent in my definition - although one usually exhibits counterdependent patterns rather than classic codependent patterns, but those are just two different varieties of codependency in my definition.  Check out my series of articles on Codependent Relationships Dynamics part 1 - Power Struggle

"I happened upon your website by typing in the engine (emotional healing). I can only believe that God sent me directly there. I live in an area of Florida where our two largest bookstores have been closed due to the recent damage of hurricane Ivan, I thought maybe you could help me to locate where I could purchase a copy of your book ,"The Dance of Wounded Souls". Thanks for the website, I hope to be able to visit often, but I have to do so on my lunch time or before work , since I do not have a computer or internet access at home."

(October 12, 2004)
"I found your site and it was like a miracle and blessing - you truly are a wonderful person and have such a gift.  I have been working on some of the inner child quick start pages and it is already helping.  When I read the pages on your site I have hope that I will be ok with time and everything makes sense and I feel peaceful.  I just wanted to thank you for that. . . .  Thank you again - you are sent by God in my humble opinion."

"I am an MFT Intern and also a member of Al-Anon and I also attend a meta-physical church.....so your belief systems and sharings are very similar to mine. . . . I too am in recovery for codependency and it is really hard.  Especially when in a (dying) relationship with someone who isn't in recovery and does not have the level of insight into themselves and their "wounded" behaviors. . . . Anyways, just wanted to say that your writings resonate with me on a deep level and I find myself quoting them and telling friends about them all the time.  Thank you for taking the time to bring your wisdom to others."

"Thank you for your prompt reply and thank you for the wonderful gift you are giving to me, and others I'm sure, with your web site. In many a dark moment I've found some peace and hope there."

"I thank YOU for speaking to ME.  I have been doing spiritual work for the past ten years and nothing has resonated with me as much as your book has."

"The universe has guided me to you and I am grateful. I am receiving great gifts and healing from the words you share both in your books and your websites. I am learning about myself through your experience strength and hope. I invite you to continue your path and know you are loving and being loved."

"I stumbled across your website recently and find it to be compelling reading.  The information contained within your website is thought provoking and, as a result, I am changing the way I view my day-to-day life and interactions with others.  No longer do I live in a type of no-mans land where my self-confidence was subject to others' spoken or perceived thoughts and perceptions of me.  I now continue to work on this on a daily basis."

"I have spent hours over the past couple of days reading your work at  suite 101 ...what marvellous insight you have and  what sense you make out of such tragedy. . . ....thank you for the fabulous work you have done and will continue to do I am sure...you have rounded out my education (provided the last piece of my puzzle) and I intend reinforcing what I've learned at every opportunity.  God Bless you"

"It was through the excerpts on your site that I finally know how to address the fears and pains that have hounded and influenced all of my reactions in life.  I know that I need your book in order to fully work on healing the past issues and becoming a healthy, whole adult. Thank you soooo much!"

"I thank you with all my heart. I am from Argentina, don't write in English well, but I need to tell you how happy I am to read your experience and all the things you  are giving to the world."

"subject: thank you so very much.  I would like so much to thank you for your book and your web site.  I have 11 mos of recovery.  I have been doing much sole searching and fact finding, to help me understand me.   Then one day I stumbled across your web site.  What a gift you have made available to people like me.  I can relate to everything that I have read so far.  This information has helped me in writing my 4th step, and with really taking a truly deep look inside myself.  I find myself using the tools that I have learned from you in my daily living.   God be with you"

"thank you for a wonderfull, wise, loving  site."

"I am a 33 year old woman from South Africa who has accessed your website for the first time today.  I felt obliged to contact you to say how very much I identify with and recognize the truth of the philosophy you express in those pages.  My arrival in the space where I can feel this was preceded by roughly 3 years of a journey begun in the realization that to live the life I was living was no longer possible, and the journey continues today, but now driven by a sense of joy, stillness of heart and contentment rather than demons. Thank you for the opportunity to read your words."

"My name is ______. I am an American Indian, I am in recovery from alcohol and drugs, formerly a chemical dependency counselor, treatment coordinator, tx center director, an IHS area alcoholism coordinator, I carry a Medicine Bundle, I am a combat vet from the Viet Nam conflict, I am a Warrior, a Pipe Carrier, a Sweat Lodge Keeper, I run Vision Quest Camps, I just finished my apprenticeship and now I run Sun Dance. The one thing that I want to say is that I am co-dependent and only recently have begun looking at the depth of my  co-dependent dysfunction as it relates to my physical life, my mental life, emotional life, and my spiritual life. I have experienced countless miracles in my life as the Spooks have been good with me. When I look w/ my heart, I find the next piece and I was looking with my heart when I found your site. I have not read your book as yet but intend to, what I did get from your site is a knowing that I have found a path that will bring me close to my Divinity. Thank you much and my Prayers are with you. Peace and Love,"

"subject: CoDependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls Thank you so much for writing this wonderful book! And congratulations on saying, so effectively and so clearly, what matters so much.  Your view ring true to me, in the light of my own experiences."

"Greetings from Africa I have today ordered 3 copies of Dance of Wounded Souls.   Please could you inscribe one copy to me, one to to ____ and one copy can be uninscribed.  My copy was recently stolen (along with my motor vehicle!) and, even though I've read it many times, I feel as though I've lost a dear friend and I really look forward to receiving my new copy!  Thanks for your wonderful and life changing book."

"I forgot to mention ...I particularly like your article 'Men and Women are from the same Planet!'  Hooray ...there is such nonsense written at times it amazes that  people buy it ... I firmly believe that the majority  of  problems between men and women can be traced to brain washing over centuries."

"I just wanted to drop a quick note thanking you for all the great & inspiring info. on your web page, and also esp. for the therapist referal page! (I have a wonderful therapist, but was looking ((very discerningly)) for a residential treament center.) Your web page really helped me a lot. . . . . Your web page gave me some very helpful info. The wholeness I felt reflected there also helped give me hope, at a very challenging time. Thank you for these gifts."

"I've been reading your website for some time now - its tremendously inspirational."

"Reading the blue type following the red quotes as written in your book have given me far more clarity into your logic and reasoning behind your words as written in your book.  I want to print out your entire website so that I may refer to it when actually reading your book. . . . . I am in the throes of trying to afford a couple of print cartridges so I can make me own copy your expanded awareness instead of having to refer to the website all the time.  Brilliant stuff!"

"I received your book in the mail today. I'm really looking forward to learning from it. I have already found so much valuable information on your site.  Thank you for putting all of these ideas--12-step recovery, spirituality, codependence and inner child work, etc. together."

"I have been helped and encouraged by your wonderful web page, so full of useful information. . . . Keep up the good work Robert."

"I am the one to say thank you for offering your wonderful book and website to individuals such as myself.  I received your book, read it, and will reread it quite often, as I continue my journey.  I am 15 months into recovery from alcoholism and codependency.  I became familiar with your website and literature through my counselor.  Yet another message from my higher power and not just a coincidence."

"Thank you for creating your website - of all the reading and research I have done, your website by far has touched both my senses and my soul."

"Your articles on the website are some of the best I've ever read about this topic. They hit so close to home, especially since right now I'm agonizing over a seeming "soulmate" who turned out to be a wounded soul unwilling or unable to share the journey of recovery with me. The abandonment has hurt me to the core. I hope your book will help bring some peace. Thanks!"

"Thank you very much for sending your book so quickly!  I am really enjoying your wonderful wisdom. . . Again, thank you for writing an inspiring and important book.  May you be blessed with great abundance and joy."

"I read the book and found it so real and beautiful"

"My name is  ----, I am 44 years old, a Black guy and live just outside London UK. I purchased your book and the audio tapes version via Amazon.com last week after finding your website. I just wanted to thank you and let you to know that your work has deeply touched me on many levels. I now have a clearer understanding regarding my 'inner child' and so much more. I thought I was having a major 'problem' in my life at present but as you say every problem is an opportunity for growth. You have helped me grow and really change my perspective. I am very grateful.

 Within the last 18 months I have purchased the complete Conversations With God series (bar one), The Celestine Prohecy Experentially Guide, The Power Of Now, The Seat Of the Soul, The Life You Were Born To Live and a few more besides. Prior to this period of time, I have read books on Sprituality, Christrianity, Life afte Death, the Paranormal and others over the years. My apartment looks like a mini library!

I have been in a long search for the 'answers' about life and what this existence is all about. I was attracted to your book as it said it dealt with the inner child issues and codependency from a metaphysical perspective. However, I was not expecting to 'connect' and understand with your work so completely. It makes perfect sense how you explain the larger cosmic issues as well as the 'inner child' and the healing required within.  The books I had read previously gave me a grounding in the cosmic perspective and I probably would not have connected with your work as deeply if I had not read them before coming across your work. But as you say, it is not a coincidence that I have now found your work at this time anymore than it was a coincidence I was guided and found previous works on similar cosmic perspectives. I was ready for your work not only to confirm things I had read previosly and felt on a deep level but also to enlarge my thinking and my perspective.

Whereas before I was angry at life and God for the things that had happened to me which I felt were grossly unfair and a punishment, the way you explain 'life' - it all makes sense. I still am stuggling with a few points as it is alot to take in. I have played the audio version of your book every day (in fact its playing as I type this!) as I pick up something new to consider everytime. I doubt I will not look at my life the same way or indeed others. I have experinced so many 'coincidences' lately (especially directly connected to your book) and sometimes its difficult to share this with others for fear they think you are mad! However, I have also recently met a few people who are on a similar path and in many ways further along the path of understanding what this 'life business' is all about who I can share with so thats good. I trust and have faith my healing is in progress.

I just wanted to let you know you have made a great difference to me and (as is my nature) I have been sharing what you have contributed with others and recommeding your work. I have, for a while, had a urge to write a book myself. My motivation is to touch people or have an impact on others how you have touched and impacted me. For thier highest good and deeper understanding."

"Hello again Robert, I just want to thank you again for the information on the net . I find it the most nourishing, even if confronting, recovery wisdom I have found so far"

"I have read many codependency books in the past, but I know that I am now at a point in my life where I needed something more. I prayed for God to guide me to the right reading materials for my growth, and I found your website. It looks like exactly what I was looking for. I am printing out several sections right now. I cannot wait to begin reading. Thank you, thank you for sharing your work. I will keep you posted on my growth."

"Enabling & Rescuing vs Tough Love . I quickly read your article on the above subject.  It was really enlightening and I will reread with more deliberation later.  In fact I will share with my Tough Love Group tonight."

"I have read a lot on your site just recently.  So far i am amazed at how it all strikes a chord wtih me.  Its like when i meet someone in recovery ( i have 18 mo clean after 35 years of using) and our 'like minds' connect. . . I just wanted to thank you for your honest free expression, sharing yourself, on the net.  If i could i would gobble it all up and digest it all in one sitting...but that would never do the content nor myself justice."

"I've meant to email you for some time.  Your book has been really significant in my personal/spiritual evolution.  My father's alcoholism and mental disorders didn't leave me with codependent behavior as it's typically defined in my outward actions.  I have had pretty strong boundaries dealing with others.  But with respect to healthy inner emotional boundaries ... well, I've never even heard of codependency referring to this part of a person, and I really have had lots to learn and heal here.  Your book has been one of the ones I will look back on as having helped me to open and grow."

"I love your work, it's been very helpful."

"I have just discovered your website quite by ëaccidentí this afternoon.  I am a counselor in New Zealand and have really enjoyed reading your words here.  I want to thank you for making such a wealth of wisdom available in this way.  I am interested both as a therapist (Gestalt psychotherapy) and for my own personal growth."

"Wow, what a wealth of information! will take me days to read it all.  I have been overwhelmed lately by my recent reality acknowledgement of codependency and love addiction issues, i have been reading Pia Melody's Love Addiction book and what an eye opener! but i have so much work to do.  I spend 24 years in this vicious cycle with a boy/man not knowing what it was- but knowing it wasn't right.  I blew through by teenage years, twenty's, thirty's now i'm 40 and am devistated by my role in this disease.    I really have been searching for help as I have no idea who I am or what I'm here for, I am so glad i stumbled onto your site via google."

"I just happened to be browsing the web for information on emotional abuse when I came across your very informative site.  I was intrigued by the writings and felt compelled to read on for hours.  Thank you for providing such a wealth of information, making it clear and interesting to the reader."

"Robert...Your work has become monumental in my recovery because the words you write are worlds you've lived...your footprints are on  the road that I now find myself on.   I'm not sure that you can really  care about me without knowing me but I am sure that our pasts' are a universal language.  My spirit thanks you deeply for reaching back as I reach out."

"The book is AWESOME!!!  Lots of insight I've been needing.  Now, I am beginning to get a perspective on why things have been the way they have in my life.  It is a masterpiece and explains the disease of copendendency like I've never known it before, and you hit the nail right on the head.  Again, awesome!"

"I happened upon your site while searching for information about codependencey. I really agree with most of what you say . . .  Thank you for your research and writings, they have already helped me very much understand myself and my inner child."

"i find your pages correlate in meaningful ways with what i have discovered to be helpful in personal healing and growth. . . . . i do so appreciate your work along with the great multitude that have and will benefit from your work."

"I just wanted to thank you. I was having a very hard time with some obsessive worry and your book really helped me to begin to understand a new perspective on living and what it is for. I feel like a great burden has been lifted off me and I appreciate it. It was The right thing at the right time.  thank you so much."

"I noticed that you have suffered quite a bit of financial hardship (as many of us have, esp. when on a spiritual path) as well as many other hardships. You seem to have had much of your ego bashed out of you. It seems that the flood gates have opened with respect to your writing and your words are getting out there. Your genuine concern for people echoes loudly. God Blesses you."

"Your website has been a Godsend to me these past few weeks! ........Then, I found your website.  I started leaving messages on his voicemail with small affirmations and explanations from your website.  He began to reach back to me.  Yesterday, he came home and opened up to me for about 2 hours. ....I know you must be a very busy man, so if you cannot return the e-mail, thank you so much for all of the soul searching you have been willing to share with the rest of the world.  It has already afforded me the blessing of being able to re-open dialogue with a person I love dearly."

"I printed out the book. (inner child healing e-book)  I am impressed with your wisdom, insights and understanding.  I have done inner child work on and off since I was 19 years old (19 years ago!) and I never came across anybody who has as much knowledge as you.  I really admire John Bradshaw but you go even further than him in the recovery process.  I am glad that I came across your website and finally have your book printed."

". . . . . website gave me the inspiration to finally confront my demons and work through the pain and come out the other side somewhat intact.  The website is amazing in all of its context on the full perameters of childhood abuse and the resultant codependent behaviour - it is indeed an insight into who I am and why I am.  Thank you so much for the documentation of all your experiences on your website.. . . . thank you for allowing me (through your website) to look at myself honestly and now know there is a valid reason for why I am the way I am.  I feel honoured to have read your website and I am eagerly looking forwards to reading your book."

"hi robert great site makes alot of sense."

"I received my edition of "Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls" and sat up reading it until 4:00 a.m. . . . I just ordered 5 more books. . .  This is one of the best "self-help" books I've come across! (at a time that perhaps we all need it the most).  As one friend recently said, "the planets aren't aligned right now."  Perhaps your wise words will help to re-align them!  Thank you."

"I'm so glad I stumbled across your website; it resonates perfectly and has helped me to clarify where I'm at.  I've just made a start on the inner child healing work, writing my fairy tale. It's proving hard going, but this time I wan to stick with it. Thanks again for your great website, it's inspirational."

"I just wanted to say that this is one of the most all encompassing websites I have ever read regarding the healing process. I have read almost every article in three days. . . . .I am a therapist and have traveled and continue to travel this journey of which you write so eloquently about. I know your writing to be true, as it is so similar to my own healing. I hope to share your articles with clients. Thank you for such insightful and honest inner revelations."

"Dear Robert: I work in the capacity of Employee Assistance Counselor and am a Licensed Clinical Social worker.  Your website is absolutely A plus and I am requesting your permission to distribute some of your articles, as appropriate, to my clients."

"Dear Mr. Burney, Thank you, thank you for your Web site.  Last Sat. nite, with no one to call because it was zero hour, I found your site.  I had reached that point of crisis with terrifying emotions that felt like a huge abyss that would destroy me if I felt them.  Although I have differing spiritual beliefs, I'm sure God led me to your site that night.  It was so comforting to read exactly what I was going through, to know I was not alone, understand what was happening to me, and be reassured there was a way through. The freeing concept of "no judgment, no shame" felt like a huge soft pillow that I could sink down, down, down into forever and rest. God bless you."

"Just want to send a note to encourage you to keep up this great web page.  I don't know if that's the right name for what all this is but it sure is a help. I do want to say thanks, for a place to go and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money."

"Happy to be added to the mailing list Robert - your web site  was a real help to me over the weekend ! . . . . I was moved especially to hear about your own inner child and have been trying for several years not to be so hard on mine and to talk properly to that part of myself that feels to be so demanding and greedy. There is so much on your site and a lot to share and think about and gain support and steadiness from and I love the positive and non-patronising language you use. . . . .Anyway! It was a joy to find your site and I loved it and thank you for it!"

"I am ____ i read a few article on your interesting website , you writings is very strong and to the point."

"I am enjoying your website immensely, thank you (and thank the God-Force) for helping you publish it.  I have recently ended a 'raving' codependent relationship (she ended), and I am finally starting to see hope, hope for me that I can heal and find the relationship I so desire.  I am truly looking forward to reading your book and listening to the tapes.  Thanks So Much"

"I ordered your book; however I haven't read it yet. Searching on the web and came across a few more of your articles I have experienced the feelings you speak of; but could never express them in words, you have opened my eyes up to how much work I have to do... But I am grateful, for at least I know what it is now that I need to work on. Your god sent!!!   Thank you!"

"I decided to sh*t or get off the pot and searched the net for titles that I could relate to.  I came across your website and purchased The Dance of Wounded Souls.  Your 180 degree view of us as spiritual beings in human form has been one of the only things I've found that alters the dead-end way I've been searching. . I'm going it alone right now, and I use your writings as a surrogate therapist or support group... Thanks for everything."

"Hi Robert, i found your website through Google. I have to say a big thank you for putting so much good informatin and advice and knowledge on the web. i've always been skeptical of 'inner child' stuff but have recently realised how much of a 10 yr old I am. In fact, i am a 10 yr old living in a 47 yr old man's body. Not coping well at all with life. Have a series of ever more painful relationships in my life and quite co dependent with myself. am doing some counselling and have started on the road to recovery, I hope, but your words and insights are extremely helpful and inpsiring and reassuring. Thanks."

"Thanks for the opportunity of sharing your page, I've read a few topics, and again I agree that when the disciple is ready, the master will show...sorry for the translation (I'm Hispanic) lots of love!!!!"

"This is a fascinating web site.  Reading this makes me want to meet you in person although I don't know how that could ever happen. This is the MOST incredible work I have read in years.......all encompassing......Thank you"

"Dear Robert, I fell in love with your website and the pages were just popping out at me. In other words I so related on a deep level. I have almost 6 years clean in a 12 step program and I have been very diligent in doing the work of the 12 steps however the last 6 weeks I have gone through the worst depression I have ever felt since I have been clean. I have had suicidal ideation but know that I would be killing the wrong person. . . . Thank you so much for your insight and you have already helped me just by the information and awareness."

"I just want you to know that you have made a profound impact on my life.  I typed in codependency in a google search about 2 hours ago & have been exploring your website ever since.  I have teared up, I have bawled hysterically, I have laughed, I have looked @ myself in the mirror for SURE I can tell myself I love myself only to face the mirror with shame.  I am so grateful & it was so meant to be that I found your site.  I am on the path to finding & recognizing & embracing my magcial, magnificent spiritual self and saying thank you doesn't even begin to give you the appreciation you deserve.  Keep doing your wonderful stuff!!"

"Dear Robert,Thank you very much for the reply!, i would appreciate your offer to personalize the second book to my friend ____. You have made me realize that our friendship came about as a result of emotional energy attraction, a familiarity of wounds. . . . . i'm glad there's people out there such as yourself to help guide the wounded in the right direction,thank you very much."

"I have printed so much off your web site.  I have been reading all of it and crying too boot.  I will get your book.  Thank you for sharing & caring"

"I recently read The Dance of Wounded Souls, and hoped it would be nice for you to know that your book has helped in my lifestyle change!  I have, and am currently in, fairly difficult therapy, and am learning to accept my inner child.  I had some real issues growing up, and along with the therapy, the book made me understand that I am the woman who suffered... not 'that kid suffered'! . . . On a spiritual path, a friend of mine posted this book to me whilst I was at a particularly low point, an it came at the time I needed it to.  I have studied spiritualism for a while (religion fascinates me, and I have studied many!), and whilst I cannot bear labels, I would happily say I share a belief. I gleen inspiration from a number of sources, and now I no longer fear these senses, I find these experiences most valuable.  I ramble.. I apologise. Your book truly inspired me, and I wanted the opportunity to say thankyou!"

"I am finding vast amounts of very useful information in your web pages.  Thank you for adding me to your mailing list."

"I got what I needed today from your writings. I' thrilled I didn't have to spend a week reading a book.  You wrote the key points short and to the point. Thank you."

"My name is ______, I live & work in the Shetland Islands (very far north of Scottish Islands) in the UK. Currently I am working with women in the mental health sector. I am also involved with our local Alcohol advice centre. As an ACA member myself, I am always on the look out for new & innovative ways to pass on healing & personal development to the people I work with. I came across your website....I am very keen to hear if you ever come over to the UK to do workshops etc...?"

"I am sure that you recieve emails every day, but I'd like to personally thank you for starting this website.  I am a survivor of insest/sexual abuse by my biological father/mother/aunt.  I am at a loss for words.  Your website has helped more than any therapist could.  All of the symptoms...I used to think I was alone.  I don't feel that way anymore. Thank you for the tips....EVERYTHING. Thank you."

"Thank you for having these pages on the web for me to find!  I have had confirmation of most of what I have recieved during my meditation sessions with myself, where I have been looking at the abust inflicted upon me as a child ahnd telling my inner child she is not responsible she was a victim, and slowly begining the healing process, one day I may be healed enough and have enough self love & respect to be able to have a Healthy relationship with some one, as I said ONE DAY maybe."

"The Dance of Wounded souls is easily one of my favorite books.  I could not measure how useful it has been in my work as an AOD counselor in terms of helping me to put some of the deepest and most important concepts into easily understandable words.  Its taken me a very long time to read due to the think content on every page but I am finally ready to share it with others."

"Just a quick note to say thank you for your writings (I bought the book and always visit the website) and your insight. We all need someone to light the way however much we think we know. Thanks for doing that. I hope to book a phone session with you some time in the future. I need to read more first. Best wishes."

". . . . wanted to thank you for your hard work, honesty,and generosity."

"Hi, just to say I found your website at work (so havent had a chance to spend the hours required to read it all deeply) and am amazed ? thank you so much for putting this on the WEB, its really what its all about.  We do sincerely believe that every time we heal a hurt within us, we (the beings who are struggling for enlightenment in everyday modern life) are truly healing our planet, our past and our future.  Thanks again, may you be blessed with a smile from everyone you see today"

"Thank you!  By sharing your karma, you have give me a completely different perspective on my own.  You are an inspiration for me to "dig deeper" into my own healing and continually remind myself that I am exactly where I am supposed to be on this precious journey of life.  Only through acceptance of myself am I able to set bounderies both internally and externally.  Thank you for your messages and gifts of self.  You give me great hope for healing."

"God Bless.  Dear Robert, Everything I have read on your website, I already know. I was trying to find the right words to help someone  who thought I had all the answers. I was looking for the right words to say to her. I cannot even remember how I found your site years ago. I thank you,  I love you for helping me reach my destiny and help other in our spiritual journey. You helped me connect the dots. Many people have the answers, but God gave you the gift to relate it in the written word. One day I want to meet with you."

Feedback specifically responding to the August 2004 Update Newsletter.

"What an inspiration your August, 2004 update is...I Thank You deeply, and look forward to reading your other writings."

"thank you for the last update. The articles, "A romantic tragedy / a Spiritual Transformation" is right on target for me because I am going through a similar experience with the gift of an intense romance.  I am grateful that you share your story with other recovering alcoholics like me. Thank you."

"I read the latest "Update" last night when I arrived home from a trip. I wish I had better skills at expressing myself through writing. I wish I my writing could keep up with my thought process? My best editing comes out as this...I sincerely thank-you for sharing your "journey"..it touched my soul. I can't put into writing the many ways it did this. But I felt it was important to express my gratitude."

"I hope this finds you well today. I purchased your book some time ago...and I found it to be quite priceless for me. My recovery has been slow, but feel with each new experience it takes me that much further on my journey. I received your newsletter at the perfect time. I feel your assignments will be invaluable to me as I choose to take on this new challenge.  My reason for this email specifically, is that I have a website that I would like to add your link to. . . . You have been such an amazing help for me, and many others. If just one seed is planted from your link on my page, then so a vine could grow from it."

"dear robert, it appears we are on the same path, twin souls.  my previous ex had the same problem as yours, (heart closed) I discovered this after checking his chakras with a crystal. The crystal was conmpletely still over his heart. I was shocked that his heart was completely closed........ I gave his heart some healing, which seem to open him to marvellous feelings,(as he put it) but the next day he closed off again. Mean while my higher self instructed me to get the hell out, i acted on my intuition and was supported by the universe all the way. I felt considerable grief, and questioned the universes motives. we were so right for each other on every level, but this closed heart, that i suspect had never been open. Buddha's say, that in order for a heart too open it has to be broken..........He rings me still, he would still like to see me as a friend, but i cant do that, it hurts to much. i then read your writing, which capped it all. love your work robert, you must help so many to find them selves........"

"Good for you!  I know you will get many emails from people who can relate - but I am one of them.  I know I  have met my twin soul - We have had an on again off  again romantic/friendship relationship since 2000;  We have been going  through the same cycle you have experenced - a couterdependant tug of war.  The secario is interesting because he uses his AA commitments as a sheild and a reason to not live - at the moment he is too busy with his 3 sponsees and AA friends (6 years!) to spend any meaningful time with anyone outside of the program, a nice safe place to be a hero and not  have to look at his own wounded child.   Hang in there..."

"Well, I've been reading your updates for some time now and really I appreciate your sharing and your total honesty and vulnerability. I guess you do know how much this deep sharing is helping others, otherwise you wouldn't be doing it. In case you do need some reassurance (because afterall we are all human!!!) - here it its!  Your latest sharing about your emotional intimacy with Luscious Love, has touched me deeply because (like the 100th monkey theory), I have been through the same intense learning, and believe it or not, it started 20 Feb '04 and ended 24 June (and energetically, is continuing because my Luscious Love does not know what is happening).   I do believe that we do go through things together and it takes people like yourself to share on such a deep level, for the rest of us to realise that we are experiencing things with you/together. Wow! how the process is speeding up ...It is so reassuring for me to read what you are going through - its very comforting - THANK YOU!"

"Re: Joy2MeU Update Announcement  I have been reading it and associated pages on your website for hours! You touched on many issues I have been thinking about recently but as I now understand more fully there is no such thing as 'coincidence' I guess I am being guilded somewhere which will lead to Love and Light and Joy. I have to get where you are when you said: 'Accept the reaality of my path as it is presented to me and make the best of it'. Easier said than done! Once again thank you for your insights, your sharing and generousity of Spirit."

"Thank you Robert for the notice.  As always, I appreciate and grow from your personal words and spiritual thoughts.  The events of this year for you are somewhat similar to events of my past, and your spiritual reflection of those events are an inspiration to me.  Thank you for sharing."

These testimonials fill my heart so I thought I would use the hearts here.
In January 2005 I have moved the rest of my testimonials pages (3 more) to my silcom site to decrease the size of this one a little.  You can read more by going to Testimonials.

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