The Ten Commandments of Self Esteem, Rules for Being Human, Risking

This is a page of the Joy2MeU web site of codependency therapist / inner child healing pioneer / Spiritual teacher Robert Burney - who is the author of the inspirational, life changing book of mystical Spirituality: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls. These are some handouts that Robert has found helpful in his codependency recovery.

The Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem

I. Thou shalt not consort with people who make thee feel bad about thyself.

II. Thou shalt cease trying to make sense out of crazy behavior.

III. Thou shalt not keep company with those more dysfunctional than thyself.

IV. Trust thy body all the days of thy life (thy mind doth fornicate with thee).

V. Thou has permission at all times to say "NO," to change thy mind, and to express thy true feelings.

VI. What is not right for thee is also not right for thy brethren.

VII. Thou shalt not give beyond thine own capacity.

VIII. What thy brethren think of thee mattereth naught.

IX. Wherever thou art, therein also is the party.

X. Thou shalt sing thine own praises all the days of thy life.

by Catherine Cardinal

The Rules for Being Human

1. You will receive a body.

You may like or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons.

You are enrolled in a full time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Growth is a process of trial and error experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."

4. A lesson is repeated until learned.

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end.

There is not part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here".

When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again, look better than "here".

7. Others are merely mirrors for you.

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you.

You have all the tools and resources you need, what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie inside you.

The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this!

By Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.
A handout she created 25 years ago that circulated widely and anonymously until recently when she published If Life is a Game These are the Rules

Risking

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To Love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope it to risk despair.
To try it to risk failure.
But, risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing at all.
The person who risks nothing still does not avoid suffering and sorrow because suffering and sorrow are an unavoidable part of life.
What they avoid by not taking risks it the opportunity to learn, feel, change, grow, Love, live.
Chained by their certitudes, they are a slave. The have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

Someone sent an e-mail to let me know that this poem was written by Ralph Waldo Emerson. I found out that there were a couple of words missing from one line - this color above. Had I known it was by Emerson I probably wouldn't have made a change in it. When I ran across it as an anonymous work years ago, I did a slight adaptation because I thought one of the lines was shaming - and I do not think it is possible to avoid suffering and sorrow. Here is the last part of the poem as is it credited to Emerson with the text that is different from the one above that I have had posted here in that other color.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing...has nothing..is nothing.
You may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but you simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love...live.
Chained by your certitudes, you are a slave; you have forfeited freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Abundant Spirituality + codependence recovery + inner child healing + Love = Joy2MeU