The True Nature of Love - Romantic Relationships

"No matter how far along we are in our healing however, there will still be issues / levels that are more healed than others.  There will always be a new layer of denial to peal off in relationship to our relationship with some issue.  And the way we will uncover and discover those new levels is to have them triggered by some outside stimuli.

Romantic relationship is the arena of interaction that produces the most stimuli in connection with the vast majority (if not all) of our issues."

"Unfortunately, men in this society have been trained to be codependent on their work/careers - and have been programmed to be emotionally dishonest.  This results in many men being incapable of emotional intimacy, and - since their self definition and self worth are focused on what they do rather than their interrelationships - to not have the motivation to change."

"We are taught in this society to play games.  To act a role, put on our best face, when we are starting to get to know someone.  We are taught to be dishonest in the beginning of a romance in order not to scare the other person away.  Like "duh", how can we have an honest, healthy relationship if we start off dishonestly."

On this page is a part 5 in a series of articles by codependency therapist/Spiritual teacher about The True Nature of Love.
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This page includes quotes from Codepenence: The Dance of Wounded Souls, quotes from other articles, columns, and web pages (indented) written by Robert Burney, and quotes from The Dance of the Wounded Souls Trilogy.  The internal links within this article open in a separate browser window.

The True Nature of Love - part 5, Romantic Relationships

By Robert Burney 

Well, my column on the True Nature of Love has now become a 6 part series.  The final column in the series will come next month with an article on "Twin Souls, Souls Mates, and Kindred Spirits." . . . . . 

. . . . . It would be good to read the previous articles in this series if you have not already.  I am trying not to repeat myself as much as possible - but the core issues of the wounding and the healing will be repeated somewhat.   Here are a few quotes from the last column just to lay a foundation for this one.

"We have to clear up our relationship with our self in order to see our self clearly before we can start to see our relationship to other humans clearly.  And I want to make a point right at the beginning of this article that this is a gradual process of finding a sense of balance - not an absolute destination."

"The real point that I am trying to make here is that the healing process is an inside job.  No one outside of you can drain you of energy, or exert power over you, unless it fits into the intellectual paradigm that your emotional wounds have set you up for.  The cords / chains / threads of energy that connect us to other people connect us because of our beliefs.  By changing the beliefs we can disconnect from the unhealthy linkage we have to other people.  We can then learn how to connect energetically in ways that are healthy and Loving - We can learn the difference between healthy interdependence (which involves giving some power away over our feelings) and codependence. . . . . In order to get clear on how to connect to others in a healthy way we must first realize and define how we are separate from others.  On the level of our physical being, our ego-self, we are separate and need to own that before we can open up to consciously experiencing how we are connected to everyone and everything.  We need to see our relationship with ourselves clearly in order to see our relationships to others clearly." 

The True Nature of Love-part 4 Energetic Clarity
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Outside or within ?

So, how to differentiate between looking outside for the source and combining our energy with some outside influence to help us access the Source within. . . . . .

Emotions are key

. . . . . The more you align your intellectual paradigm with Spiritual Truth and heal your emotional wounds, the more freedom you have to be in the moment no matter what you are feeling.  The more that you can have the faith and courage to walk through the fear, the more you will take the power away from the fear and start being Truly free to Live.  The more you open up to receive Love and Joy, the more opportunities you will have to tune into Joy in the moment - and the more moments you will be able to stay in the Love.

Then you can, in the moment some of the time, learn to Love as if you have never been hurt. . . . .

. . . . . Love - The Grandest, most sublime adventure available to us - it is worth doing the work, it is worth the risk.

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The True Nature of Love - part 6

September 2005 - Articles 3 through 6 of this series are now exclusively available in the Dancing in Light pay to view component of

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The Dance of The Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1 "In The Beginning . . . " is currently being published in installments in the Joy2MeU Journal.  It is possible to read the first two section of it in the premier issue of the Joy2MeU Journal The Dance of The Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1.