Abundant Spirituality + codependency recovery + inner child healing + Love = Joy2MeULogo of Joy to You & Me Enterprises, publisher of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls Joy2MeU Home Page
This is the Newsletter of the Joy2MeU web site of codependency therapist, inner child healing pioneer, Spiritual teacher Robert Burney - who is the author of the Joyously inspirational book of Spirituality: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.
These Update Newsletters are posted online 3 or 4 times a year at about 3 or 4 month intervals - although this year it is working out that I am posting them at shorter intervals.  A short announcement e-mail is sent out notifying people - who sign up for the Joy2MeU e-mailing list - when a new Update is posted.  (Links within the text will open in a separate browser window, while most of those in right hand column will take you away from this page.)
Joy to You & Me and Joy2MeU Update
Hello Magnificent Spiritual Being,

It is 3:06 am on August 13th as I sit here trying to figure what I want to say here so that I can get this posted and announcements sent out today.  The last couple of nights I wrote the Newsletter portion of this Update below - focused on explaining "What is an Intensive Training Day?" - and have been sitting here for awhile this morning trying to figure out what I am going to share in this first portion of this August 2006 Update.

I wanted to make early mention about the Intensive next weekend in San Francisco;  the one in September in Las Vegas; and the successful one in July in Los Angeles; - but also wanted to give you all a quick update on what is happening on the personal front for me - without getting into one of my really long writing binges.  And I just realized that something I had written about an hour ago held the clue for me to not only what I want to mention here - but also of a shift in the focus of my recovery, my work, and my life that was just revealed to me in the writing I did over the last couple of days.  It is something that I have been getting messages about - mainly from my life partner and Marketing Director Susan - but I just now became conscious of a blatant message concerning this shift that the Universe recently sent me.  This is a real "duh" kind of moment because the message is so blatant - a "light bulb going on" / "aha" / "oh I get it" feeling that I get when I get conscious of an intuitive message.  What I started out writing about earlier this morning is the weather - here it is: 

"Has it been hot where you are this summer?  It has been really hot here!   One of the reasons that I liked living on the coast in Cambria so much was that it never got too hot, or too cold.  After growing up in Nebraska where the summers were very hot, and the winters very cold, I really appreciated the more temperate climate of the Central Coast of California. 

We moved inland 30 miles to Paso Robles at the end of last December because of a combination of not being able to find a large enough house to rent at an affordable price in Cambria, and what seemed like a good investment deal in a rent to own option the Universe had manifested for us here in the inland wine country.  At the time of moving here, I knew that it got really hot here in the summer - and warned Susan about that - but the way the Divine Plan was being revealed to us, it was obvious we were supposed to move here.

Well it got really, really hot for awhile here.  Up to 116 on several days.  And it still is getting into the 90s.  We were more than ready to move out of here during the really hot days, as things were quite miserable - especially with the air conditioning not working in my car.  That combined with the reality of the real estate market taking a downturn that made the investment opportunity much less promising, and a change in our need for a large house because our family (which in December was 5 looking like it might become 6 if my son came to live with us) is now down to 3 - made living here much less of a desirable situation."

Believe it or not, the key in what I wrote has to do with the car.  I just got a newer car - with air conditioning of course.  So now Susan and Darien - my precious step grandson / God son who just reached 21 months - and I can travel in much more comfort.  I mentioned in my June update that Susan and I had been acting as primary caretakers for Darien most of the time - and that has now evolved into being the full time guardians and virtual parent figures to this amazing little man.  Thus our family size is down to 3 now - and a lot of the energy in our lives is devoted to taking care of him.

Part of the perfection of the realization I just had about the importance of the new car - is that in my October Update for last fall I talked about some of the amazing miracles that have marked my recovery in the same Newsletter in which I talk about the history of my relationship with Susan, and the family she brought into my life in 2005.  I was prompted to talk about those miracles partly by the fact that at that time I was working on accepting the possibility of moving out of Cambria and needed to talk about how important it had been to me - and partly to reinforce my faith in my Path by reminding myself of some of the incredible miracles that have manifested to help me through seemingly hopeless situations along the way.  The story of those miracles included talking about my experience of doing positive affirmations and practicing faith in relationship to the symbolic importance and role that cars have played in my Spiritual growth process.  (Which I just remembered includes the role my car played in me entering codependency recovery - something I talked about in my June Update.)  If you want to know more about my relationship with Susan, with Cambria, with cars, and with the miracles of my Spiritual Path and recovery journey, you can read that October 2005 Update (one of my long writing binges.;-)

In that Update, I talk about how the thing that made this relationship possible was that I knew from the beginning I need to surrender to the Universe's plan.  That I needed to keep following where the Spirit led me, and letting go of trying to figure out where my journey was headed.  Well, the car that I had for the past couple of years was a Dodge Spirit.  The new car that we just got - thanks to finding a deal with no down payment and high monthly payments for many years - is a 2005 Ford Focus that had been a rental car.

The realization that I had about an hour ago, is that what I have been writing the last couple of days about the Intensives has been an exercise in getting focused - in getting clearer about this shift in focus.  (So, the Universe gives me a car called a Focus - quite blatant.)   I mentioned to Susan that it has turned out to be a kind of mission statement - and that is indeed true.

In answering the question "What is an Intensive Training Day?" I was guided to become clearer on where my focus needs to be in my life and recovery in the immediate future.  I have been surrendering to the Divine Plan and trying to figure out how to take care of my family and create more income so that I can do that.  That was a primary motivation for starting these Intensive Training Days.  But it wasn't the Highest level of motivation.  The Highest level of motivation has to do with spreading the message - with following my path and speaking my Truth because that is what I need to do for my recovery, for my Spiritual Growth process.

In the writing I did below, I make mention of the difference between codependent ego selfishness, recovery ego selfishness, and Spiritual Selfishness.  There are always multiple levels to every thing - including our motives.  Recognizing the different levels to my motives is something I wrote extensively - and I think, quite clearly - about in my January 2002 Update and Newsletters.  (In the first of two Newsletters attached to that Update, I also talk about "aha" intuitive insights as an internal pager that vibrates to let us know a message has been received - some good stuff in those Update Newsletters.)

"I learned to focus on my recovery as my number 1 priority because it worked to make my life easier and less painful in the long run.  It took me years in recovery to really understand all of this - and to give recovery the priority focus - but eventually I came to understand that I could make a conscious choice to be a positive co-creator in my life instead of a negative one.  That I could start creating cause that would have better effect. 

I focus on recovery because it works.  By paying attention, being conscious and willing, I get to follow the messages instead of forcing the Universe to use the stick on me.  Choosing to make recovery the number one priority in my life makes life easier and less painful.  Bottom line. . . . . . 

. . . . . . . I have touched on the two primary levels of motivation for me.   My primary motivation out of Spiritual Self is to follow my intuitive guidance because it the path home to Love, to discovering my True Self, to accomplishing my Karmic mission in this lifetime.  One of the reasons that I have committed myself to following that intuitive guidance is because of the level of motivation that comes out of human ego self.  Following my intuition makes life less painful in the long run." Joy2MeU Update January 2002 Newsletter

I talked in a CoDA meeting this last week, about how I have been forced at different times in my recovery to focus on practicing surrender and acceptance and patience during difficult times when it was necessary for me to really live one day at a time in faith because I couldn't see a way out of the situation / opportunity for growth I was experiencing.  And I mentioned that in those times I would sometimes go out of balance the other way - that is being so focused on accepting what was happening and making the best of things one day at a time - that I would forget to also be taking action to take responsibility for what I was creating for the future.
"We can go out of balance with anything.  I can use acceptance as an excuse for not taking action or responsibility.  I can use forgiveness as an excuse for not standing up for myself - to avoid confrontations.  I can say I am taking care of myself when I am really isolating and indulging in instant gratification." - The Recovery Process for inner child healing - emotional balance
What I am seeing clearer as I write this, is that I have come to a point when it is time to focus on my Higher motivations - on my mission and my work, and on taking the actions that are in front of me - because that is what will help me to meet the other level of needs more effectively.  Focusing on the Higher motivations helps to motivate me to take the actions necessary much better than the more mundane level of motivation (like paying the rent.)  Trying to make money has never been a motivation that works for me, because I have so many issues around money.  (Something I talk about in my October 2000 Update that I will be quoting below.)  Following my Spiritual Path, being True to my Spiritual / True Self - those are the levels of motivation that it is time to focus on in this next chapter of my life, because that will help me take responsibility for taking the actions that will make my life easier and more enjoyable in the long run.  Great insight.;-)

So, this got longer than I had hoped - oh well.  Additions to the site are in the right hand column. 

Additions to the web site since the June 2006 Update include:

Ordering info for new CD version of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "An Audio Spiritual Experience"

Two articles from my Suite101 series on Higher Power of my own understanding:

Vibrational Dance

Love as a vibrational frequency

In addition:

A new batch of wonderful Testimonials for the book, tapes, and web site.

 A testimonial for the Joy2MeU Journal on Journal Testimonial page 

A new selection of diversified and interesting looking links were added.

Two book stores in New York have stocked my book

Graphic of two hearts with an arrow through them - signifying both Love and heartbreak.
Links to past Update Newsletters for the Joy2MeU site (launched February 4, 1999) can be found on the Information index page.  Links to the Newsletters of my original Joy to You & Me web site (launched February 28, 1998) can be found on the Joy to You & Me page which list pages from that site not moved to Joy2MeU.


What is an Intensive Training Day?

The past week or so, I have been considering whether I should change the name of the appearances I have been scheduling to train people in the formula I developed for codependency recovery / Spiritual Integration /  inner child/emotional healing.  I believe that at the time I came up with the name for these appearances, I was reluctant to use the term workshop - because that term conveys the impression that the people attending are going to have to do some work.  These "Training Days" are workshops in one dictionary sense of the term - i.e. "A seminar or single session for training, discussion, etc., in a specified field" - but they do not involve the attendees being forced to actively participate in some way. 

In other words, people attending these "workshops" are not going to be asked to do exercises, or emotional processing - or be put in a position where they feel they are being pressured to take a risk of revealing themselves or being vulnerable.   The "work" that is asked of attendees is to be present and actively listen - to be open to hearing that they can own the power to transform their experience of life into an exciting adventure.  Attendees have the opportunity to absorb information that will give them a blueprint / formula for learning to access and manifest Love into their relationship with self in a way that helps them to start experiencing Joy and inner peace and freedom from the past.  A formula that includes practical, powerful, effective tools and techniques for helping them overcome their fear of intimacy and change their core relationship with self, life and other people.

These "workshops" are interactive in that participants are encouraged to ask questions that will help them clarify and understand the information being presented - but no one is required to say a word.  I once observed a one day workshop given by John Bradshaw in which he actually had people break into small groups and do exercises designed to get them in touch with their inner child wounds.  There were more than one hundred people in attendance - and he only provided 3 or 4 facilitators to help people get through any emotional breakthroughs that might be triggered by these exercises.  I felt that it was irresponsible - verging on unethical - to have people pressured into doing exercises that were designed to get them into an emotionally vulnerable place, without providing an appropriately safe environment and resources to insure that the experience would not be a traumatic one for the participants.

I do not believe that a one day (6 to 8 hour experience) is an appropriate setting to put people in a position to be emotionally vulnerable with no previous work or knowledge of their issues, or appropriate follow up resources available.

We are in the process of designing a weekend experience - probably 2 1/2 days - as a follow up to the Intensive Training Days.  This would be an environment where people would have the opportunity to do some emotional processing and potentially experience some grief work in a small group setting - probably a maximum of 8 people.  These weekend workshops would be open only to people who had attended an Intensive Training Day.

So, the bottom line is that these Intensive Training Days I am offering, could be described as lectures - except I associate negative connotations with that word.  One of the dictionary definitions of lecture is "to rebuke or castigate authoritatively or at length" - and that is definitely not what I am doing in these Training Days.  They are lectures in another dictionary sense of "A discourse delivered aloud for instruction or entertainment."  And I believe that though my presentation is designed to be instructional, it is also quite entertaining.  What I am really doing in these Intensives is sharing my experience, strength, and hope - sharing with the participants what I have learned, what has worked for me in my recovery.

Intensive is an accurate term

I am not sure why I chose the word Intensive for the title of these training workshops - but as I write this in the early morning hours of August 11th, I have decided that the choice was made out of intuitive guidance - and that Intensive is actually a quite appropriate word for the experience that I am offering to those who have the willingness and commitment to them self/Self and their recovery to attend.

In checking the thesaurus for synonyms, here are some that I found - and why they are appropriate.

"Highly Concentrated"  These Intensives are truly highly concentrated - thick with information.  But the magic that happens in them is not a result of the attendees needing to take in all the information.  The magic happens in experiencing a shift in consciousness that results from absorbing this information in a setting that allows a paradigm shift - an awakening to a larger perspective of self and life - that facilitates an opening to intuitively understanding the dynamics of life from a much larger perspective. 

"When we look at reality from a different perspective, on a higher level, in a larger context, then we can start seeing how what we perceive as tragedy on one level, can fit into the plan perfectly on a higher level.  How it is a perfect part of the larger picture, of a longer journey.  Then we can begin to understand how the pieces of the puzzle fit together.

The Twelve Step Recovery process is so successful because it provides a formula for integrating different levels.  It is by recognizing that we are powerless to control our life experiences out of ego-self that we can access the power out of True Self, Spiritual Self.  By surrendering the illusion of ego control we can reconnect with our Higher Selves.  Selfishness out of ego-self is destroying the planet.  Selfishness out of Spiritual Self is what will save the planet.

It is because there is more than one level of reality that life is paradoxical in nature.  What is True and positive on one level - selfishness out of Spiritual Self, can be negative on another level - selfishness out of ego-self.  What a caterpillar calls the end of the world, God calls a butterfly."

(Quotes in this color are from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls)

As I tell people all the time, there is nothing wrong with who we are - we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience - it is our relationship with our self, with life, with being human and relating to other humans, that got so messed up in our childhood.  We have the power to change our relationship with self and life - which changes how we relate to others.  That is what this work is all about - becoming empowered to become positive co-creators in our own lives so that we can transform our life adventure into an exciting adventure instead of a pain-filled, fear-driven, heart-breaking, endurance contest.  Learning how to be our own best friend instead of always feeling like we are our own worst enemy - feeling like the victim of our own thoughts and feelings.  There is a lot of information involved - highly concentrated - because there are multiple levels, facets, and dimensions involved in our relationship with self, life, and everything in life.  But once we make a shift in perspective, that information starts falling in place in a logical, rational way - the pieces of the puzzle become more visible because we are viewing the whole experience of life, and our relationship with self, in a larger context.

It is not necessary to learn a whole bunch of new information - we just need to open up our intuitive inner channel to remembering what we already Know on some level.  When we stop viewing life from the emotional perspective of a wounded child, from the perspective of the dysfunctional programming our ego adapted to help us survive - then we can get more clearly in touch with our Spiritual Self.  And what I teach people is a practical, powerful, effective formula for opening up to remembering, and accessing, intuitive Truth. 

"Truth, in my understanding, is not an intellectual concept.  I believe that Truth is an emotional-energy, vibrational communication to my consciousness, to my soul/spirit - my being, from my Soul.  Truth is an emotion, something that I feel within.

It is that feeling within when someone says, or writes, or sings, something in just the right words so that I suddenly feel a deeper understanding.  It is that "AHA" feeling.  The feeling of a light bulb going on in my head.  That "Oh, I get it!" feeling.  The intuitive feeling when something just feels right . . . or wrong.  It's that gut feeling, the feeling in my heart.  It is the feeling of something resonating within me.  The feeling of remembering something that I had forgotten - but do not remember ever knowing."

That is why I get so many people writing to me saying they are amazed that I am saying things that they have been thinking.  We are accessing the same Source.  It has just been my path to painstakingly learn how the internal dynamics of this disease operate, and what works to facilitate recovery from it - because it was necessary for my own recovery.  Someone at the last Intensive in LA said something very similar to something I shared in my very first Newsletter for my original web site in 1998.

"I had someone in a workshop say to me one time "Boy, you really know this stuff!  You have really studied this, you are kind of like an Olympic athlete or something in this area."  My immediate reaction - as it so often is - was to react out of my disease: "That's because I was so sick."  But then I caught myself and changed it to wounded." - Joy to You & Me Newsletter I - July 1 1998
The person in LA said something like, "Boy, I am glad you were so f---ed up so that you really had to learn this stuff to be able to teach it to us."

The reality is that the 6 hours or so (10 to 5:30 minus the time for breaks) that I talk in this Intensive only allows me time to touch on some of the information that I have to share.  In sharing the information, I go off on tangents in which I tell stories from my recovery on how I learned whatever aspect of the process I am talking about at the time.  (Each Intensive is a different experience because the group consciousness is different - and the questions asked are different.  The tangents I go into can be in regard to romantic relationships, inner child healing, fear of intimacy, setting boundaries, metaphysics, spirituality, grief processing, parenting, etc. - that is part of what I meant when I mentioned the different dimensions, facets, and levels.)  The feedback so far, shows that these tangents in which I share my experiences are some of the most valuable information that I am sharing in the Intensives.  It is the personal sharing that helps people to really understand the information about the wounding and recovery dynamics I am sharing.  As one person in the San Diego Intensive put it: "You can intellectually understand key points by reading his book, but the training allowed me to really internalize it.  It's like the difference between learning how to fly an airplane by reading a book vs. actually getting in the plane." 

Some of the other synonyms are:  Blood-and-guts;  Deep;  Intense;  Profound.

Instead of blood and guts however, I would say Heart-and-Soul.  Because this work enables a person to get more in touch with their own Heart and Soul - the formula I share will help you clear out your inner channel so that you get more in touch with your own heart and soul.  In sharing what I have learned, I am sharing my Heart and Soul.  Here is a continuation of the quote from my book referenced just above:

"In this dance of life that we are doing there are different levels - even of Truth with a capital T.  There are ultimate Truths, and there are relative Truths.  The ultimate Truths have to do with the eternal, everlasting reality of the God-Force, the Great Spirit.  The relative Truths have to do with each individual's own intuitive guidance.  These are the messages we receive individually to get us from point A to point B on our individual paths.  The guidance we get from our Souls that tells us what the next thing in front of us is.

Our individual, relative Truths expand and grow as we expand and grow.  We each have our own unique path to follow - our own individual inner guidance system.  No one can tell you what your path is!  Your Truth is a personal thing.  Only you can know your Truth.

It is through following and being True to our individual Truths, as they relate to our path through this physical experience, that we reach balance and harmony with the ultimate Truths.

I am sharing my Truth with you here.  I am sharing my heart and my Soul.   I ask you, if you can, to be aware of the emotional messages coming from your heart and your Soul as you read this."

Deep and Profound are both definitely appropriate synonyms for the Intensives.  Intense is accurate in some ways - except I would prefer to use the word passionate, because I am very passionate in sharing what I have learned with people - in sharing my Truth.  It is a privilege and an honor to share the message - and it is an opportunity to connect to the Source.

"Anytime I have a chance to speak my Truth, to share the beliefs and knowledge which I so passionately embrace, I get to touch the Divine.  I get to be a channel for Love to flow through.  (One of the things I want to talk about in this Newsletter is that it can be easier to be a channel for Love to flow through than a receptacle for Love to flow into.)"- Joy to You & Me and Joy2MeU Update10-20-2000
As I mention in this quote - from my October 2000 Update, which was probably the most important Update I have ever written in relationship to my process - getting up in front of people to share my Truth is something that I Love doing, am passionate about doing - because I get to touch the Divine.  My ongoing lessons right now have to do a lot with opening to being a receptacle for Love to flow into.  That is part of what my partner Susan is helping me to learn how to do more effectively now - and is also part of what I do when I asked you who are on my e-mailing list for help, as I did when I needed help in getting my book reprinted. 

I want to ask you for help now in spreading the word about my Intensives - and coming to them if it is at all possible for you.  It is a powerful demonstration of your commitment to your self and your recovery - and also an opportunity to give to me by helping me carry the message.  An opportunity for you to take a positive action to invest in your self/Self and your recovery - and to align your conscious Intention in this lifetime with not only healing your self, but also with healing the planet.

"Each human being is an energy field, made up of interacting atomic and molecular energy fields.  When people come together they form a group energy field.  Groups have incredible power because they form a more powerful energy field than an individual does.  It is sometimes easier to access the higher vibrational transcendent emotions in a group than as an individual.

That is why it feels good, why it feels like the energy is powerful and positive in most Twelve Step meetings, and in some churches and Spiritual gatherings, because it is.   It is a higher vibrational energy field.

Whenever two or more are gathered in the name of Love and Truth, in the name of healing, there is incredible power.

Any single soul's evolution, its awakening, affects all souls because we are all connected.  We can, like Imo the genius monkey, create a space, create a new level - a new aspect - of consciousness that other humans then have access to.  It is not any accident that most great inventions, most great breakthroughs, were formulated in more than one location in the same time period.  Once one breaks through and creates the space, others may follow.

A single soul's healing advances the healing of all souls - imagine the power of two or more.

The effects of group healing and awakening ripple out through human consciousness to affect all Souls.  It ripples out in geometric proportion."

Aligning with Truth is where the magic comes from - through accessing the power of the Spirit.  Accessing and opening up that magic is much easier when we do it by combining our energy.  The power of coming together with a group of people committed to healing / recovery / Love, can concentrate that magic into a transformational experience.  The magic to not only accelerate your own recovery and transformation - to take it to a whole new level of consciousness - but also to contribute to healing the Human Condition.  This next quote, in which I talk about the difference between giving / helping out of codependently selfish motives and giving out of recovery selfish and/or Spiritually Selfish Intentions, contains a link to a page on my site about the Hundredth Monkey Effect - which is what "Imo" the monkey in the last quote references.

"Giving and receiving are inseparable parts of one dynamic energy exchange / flow.  I mention often that everything is both good news and bad news because there are different levels to this life experience (what a caterpillar calls the end of the world, God calls a butterfly) - so also, giving and receiving are two different levels / facets of the same dynamic.  When one is giving freely from the heart (not the codependent types of giving we learned in childhood, i.e.:  giving to try to prove our worth / taking ego strength from giving to someone we feel superior to / giving as a way of manipulating to get what we want), one is giving to Self and Honoring the Spiritual Truth that we are all connected.  It is what I call both selfish and Selfish (one of my phone clients who didn't like the word suggested that Soulfish would sound better.)

It is Soulfish because I Know that giving is an act of Love, is Honoring my True Self.  Opening to receive is also an Act of Love.  Asking for help and allowing someone else to give to me, is giving them the gift of allowing them to Honor and demonstrate Love for their True Self - and for the Truth that we are all ONE.

It is out of Soulfish purpose that I freely share so much information on my web site.  In freely giving Love I not only open to Love flowing into my life, but I am also manifesting Love into the Collective Consciousness and reminding you of the Truth of who you really are.  The more of you that remember who you Truly are and open up to Love flowing into your life, the closer we get to the Hundredth Monkey Effect that will bring about critical mass in the energy field of Collective Human Intellectual Consciousness and allow us to escape from the polarized thinking that has kept human beings warring on each other for thousands of years. (The New Age - An Age of Healing & Joy

It is selfish because I know that aligning with Spiritual Truth and Metaphysical Law is what is going to make my life experience less painful and more Joyous in the long run. . . . . .

. . . . . . If the Spirit moves you to align with, and energetically connect yourself to, the Karmic Settlement and Positive energy associated with being a channel for Truth and Love to manifest in the world, then this is an opportunity." - Donations to the Cause / Love Offerings

Being present and participating in one of my Intensives will help you to make your life experience less painful and more Joyous in the long run - and will allow you to help me manifest Love into the Collective Consciousness.  Absorbing the information I share in these Intensives as part of an energy field of consciousness aligned with Love and Truth, will accelerate your transformation and help you to become more aligned with transforming the Human Condition.  Now is that a cool opportunity, or what?

You will get an opportunity to experience my passion if you can come to one of these Intensives.  You will get to experience the level of emotional honesty that I have attained in my recovery because you will undoubtedly get a chance to see me cry.  One of the things that people seem find the most helpful in my sharing, is my emotional honesty.  You will get to see me cry during the Intensive - probably from both pain and Joy - but you won't be put in a position where you will be forced to.

Another one of the uses for the term Intensive is in conjunction with a specified something that is heavily invested in relative to other factors - such as energy-intensive, or labor-intensive.  In that regard, my workshops are recovery-intensive, spiritual-intensive, healing-intensive, Love-intensive.

So, what is an Intensive Training Day?

The Intensive Training Day is an opportunity for me to stand up in front of people and share my Truth, share what I have learned in my recovery - as part of my ongoing commitment to manifesting Love into the Collective Consciousness as an integral part of my recovery process and learning to Love my self.  It is a highly concentrated, profoundly inspirational sharing of the information that I have learned - sharing with you a formula that is practical and powerfully effective in helping you to learn to integrate Spiritual Truth into your relationship with self and life in a way that will facilitate learning to Love your self and opening your own inner channel to your Self.  What is required of the participants is to show up and listen - to be present in the moment as part of a group vibrational energy field that will facilitate a transformation shift in consciousness in your own personal process, while also demonstrating your desire to be part of a Transformational Healing Process for the planet.  Your willingness to show up for your own recovery will help you to open up to manifesting more Joy, Love and serenity in your life experience - by helping you to remember Truth and access your True Self, and by giving you the tools to integrate that Knowledge into your relationship with self and life.  Attending an Intensive Training Day has the potential of being a life changing transformational experience that could mark a milestone in your journey / a new beginning / a new chapter in your life - one in which your dance through life becomes significantly more of an adventure that includes experiences of Love and Joy, instead of an ordeal defined by fear and pain, guilt, and shame.

"We are involved in a process, a journey, on multiple levels.  One level is, of course, the individual level.  Another much higher level is the level of the Collective Human Soul:  the ONE Soul of which we are all extensions, of which we are all manifestations.

We are all experiencing a Spiritual evolutionary process which is unfolding perfectly and always has been.   Everything is unfolding perfectly according to Divine plan, in alignment with precise, mathematically, musically attuned laws of energy interaction. 

Both the individual process and the larger human process are marked by milestones.  These milestones feel like endings and beginnings, in many instances they feel like and appear to humans to be tragedy.  They are in Truth a perfectly planned series of lessons.  A perfect part of the unfolding of the Divine script.  These milestones are benchmarks in the progress of the process.  They mark the beginnings of new phases, new stages."

This Intensive experience will help you to more clearly remember who you Truly are, and why you are here in human body on the planet at this time.

"We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience.  We are here to experience feelings and touch and Love.  The goal of the healing process is not to reach someplace where we are above all the human experiences and feelings. We are here to feel these feelings.

When we become willing to feel the pain, then we become capable of feeling the Joy.  The Joy of doing this healing is incredible!  Our job is to heal and enJoy.   Our job is to be.  We are here to be human beings, not human doings.

Our job is to follow the Joy to the Truth.  Our job is to feel in the moment.

As long as we are reacting to old wounds and old tapes we cannot respond to the now.  The more we heal, the more responsibility we have - that is, ability to respond.  The ability to respond in the moment.

By honoring and releasing the sadness and the pain and the anger we can get to the Joy and the Love and the Peace.  By stopping the war within we can create world peace.  Not today.  Probably not in our lifetimes.  It will take generations (unless the "hundredth monkey effect" kicks in) but the process has begun!

The planet's energy field of Collective Human Emotional Consciousness is now positively aligned with Truth.  Besides the planet, putting the world together is not our job.  Our job is to find wholeness within ourselves.  Our job is to heal - that is why we are here."

What is happening now

On July 6th I added this announcement to the Intensive Training Day information page:

"I had attempted to set up an Intensive in Portland for the same weekend as the San Francisco Intensive - but have decided to cancel it for now.  I spoke of this possibility in my June Update Newsletter: 
"I did some investigation, and found that we could get an early morning flight out of San Francisco to Portland - that was already reasonably priced, and even more so with some credits I had with the airline.  So, I decided to try putting on two Intensives in one weekend to minimize the travel expense.  I haven't actually bought the tickets yet - (been working on getting the rent together) - and probably won't until July 1st or after.  If I don't get any sign ups for Portland by then, I will consider canceling it - but I don't feel like that will be necessary." - Joy2MeU Update Newsletter June 2006
The low priced fare is no longer available, and with no sign ups so far, I decided to go ahead and cancel the Intensive in Portland.  Hopefully, we can get there one of these days - but for the immediate future the Intensives will be held in locations within driving distance.  There are sign ups for San Francisco - including from New York and Michigan - so that one is a go, and I trust will be successful."
As I stated then, for the time being we are limiting our planning of future Intensives to locations within driving distance.  The resources for purchasing plane tickets in advance, and for reserving space for the Intensives - as well as for marketing them to a wider audience than those of you who are aware of my web site and book - have not manifested as yet.  At this point in time - 4:02 am on August 12th 2006 - there are only 6 people registered for the San Francisco Intensive.  My Marketing Director and life partner Susan has raised the possibility of canceling that Intensive so that we don't incur the expense of the trip.  This gives me a perfect opportunity to turn her words back on her - something that she is doing to me all the time.  That is one of the Joys - that at times can be very irritating (having her make a point by quoting to me from my own book is always pleasantly irritating;-) - of being in a relationship with a partner who is working an active recovery program.  It was Susan who inspired me to start doing these Intensives.
"Susan, my significant other (who is now the Marketing Director for Joy to You & Me), . . . . has been pointing out how my fears have kept me in deprivation financially.  How I am spending so much time and energy in counseling people one on one in my telephone counseling, when there are so many people out there who desperately need to hear what I have to share with them.

Once she saw me in action, speaking at the CoDA conference in San Francisco in October, and saw how dynamic and passionate I am in teaching people what I have learned - she started pushing me to set up more workshops / appearances.  It was that appearance that really helped her to understand that what I teach people is how to radically change their relationship with self and life into a more Loving experience - and that what I do has very little to do with traditional counseling or therapy.

As I talked about in the Update portion of this Newsletter, the formula for integration and inner healing that I developed is the missing piece that so many people have been looking for.  I knew that when I published the book, and that is why I thought it would be a best seller." - March 2006 Update Newsletter Part 2

We will be doing the Intensive in San Francisco next weekend - Saturday the 19th - even if there are only 6 people, as an affirmation of abundance to come.  And because success in putting on these Intensives is not measured just in how many people attend or how much money energy flows our way.   Creating more financial abundance is certainly one of the goals, but not the only - or even the most important - goal. 

I would certainly like to have more people sign up.  On August 3rd, in response to several e-mails I had received from people out of state asking when we would be coming to their part of the country, I posted a special offer for people from outside of California to come to the Intensive in San Francisco for $150 - in hopes that it would help people who really wanted to come, to fit the trip into their budget.  I am now extending that offer to people in California also.  Anyone who reads this Update to this point, can use the $150 option to sign up for the Intensive in San Francisco next Saturday.  In additions, any two people can come for $275.  That is the price on a special offer that includes the Intensive, 2 follow up phone counseling sessions, and a copy of my book and CDs.  You can use the payment link for that offer to sign up for you and a friend to attend - just include the friends name in the space for messages if using PayPal, or in the "shipping information" portion of the form for regular secure credit card processing (not necessary to put an address in that portion in this case, just the name.)  And if you don't read this until the last minute, you can show up and give us a check or credit card to pay for the Intensive for those prices at the time you get to the Hotel.

The Intensive in Las Vegas will be held at the Circus Circus Hotel - a good playground for inner children - on Sunday September 17th.  Hopefully we will get a good turn out for that one.  Beyond that falls into the category of the unknown / More Will Be Revealed right now.  Given the situation now, it looks like the only way that it will be possible to do any Intensive at a distance for the rest of this year will be if I have some other appearance in the area that pays a fee and travel expenses to get to that part of the country.  Possibilities of this type have been raised by an organization in Oregon that has inquired about bringing me up to speak for them - and by a person in Jamaica that is trying to organize some appearances there.  If the trip to Jamaica materializes (that would be wonderful;-), it would probably be possible to set up an Intensive experience on the East Coast in whatever city it is necessary to make a plane change - either on the way there or returning.  I just got an e-mail from a New Thought minister in Canada who proposed organizing a tour for me of New Thought centers there - but I doubt that could happen very soon, and am not sure about the viability of doing a tour of Canada in the winter.  There is still talk of me returning to Ibiza to work further with the people who attended the two day retreat I did there in April of 2005 - which if it happens might allow for setting up some Intensive dates in England on the way there or returning - but the earliest that might happen would be February of 2007, and probably not even that soon.  I have hopes that a company that has offices in Florida and New England will be wanting to fly me back there to do some trainings for it's employees - but that is just a seed / idea I have sent out into the Universe right now, not something that discussion has even begun about.

Another possibility that has come to mind has to do with the fact that my mother is going to be doing Thanksgiving at home in Nebraska this year for the first time in quite a few years.  While my Dad was still alive they went to Phoenix every winter - and it became kind of a tradition for me to travel there and fly my son in from Albuquerque for Thanksgiving.  The thought that I have had, was that it would be nice to be able to take Susan to visit the farm I grew up on in Nebraska, and have my son travel there also - which could be facilitated by doing an Intensive in Denver on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  If I hear from enough of you who would come to an Intensive in Denver on November 26th, I will start planning it.  So send me an e-mail if you would be interested.

I will probably not be doing another full Update before November - so when I get some future dates set up, I will just send out an e-mail announcement to all of you who are on my mailing list.  If you want to get notified when I announce new locations, you can sign up to be notified by e-mail when the workhsop/future appearances page changes.  That page only changes when I announce new appearances - while the Intensive Training Day information page changes more often.

There is a chance that Susan, Darien, and I will be moving to San Diego. (On August 30th Robert did announce he and his family are moving to San Diego.) It is possible that being there (where Susan would be near her kids, and have more opportunity career wise) would help us in spreading the message and bringing in more income.   So, there is a good chance that the next Intensive after Las Vegas could be down that way - in October, or November if the Oregon or Jamaica possibilities become reality for October.  As usual, More Will Be Revealed.

Wishing Joy, Love, Peace, and Abundance of all types 2 You & Me,
PS.  Realizing that I have been strongly prompted by the Universe to pay attention to my focus in relationship to what I am creating in my life - and looking at the January 2002 Update in the process - has led me to decide to include the quote, and some comments, here that I started that Update with.  I am doing that as a reminder to me & you, of the Truth of who we really are.

On New Years Day of 1999, a friend sent me a quote that I had seen previously but needed to see again at that time.  I think I would like to start off 2002 by sharing it with you.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

 Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

 It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

 We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"

 Actually, who are you not to be?

 You are a child of God.

 Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

 There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

 We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us: it's in everyone.

 And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

 As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."

 1994 Inaugural Speech
 Nelson Mandela

I believe that Marianne Williamson actually wrote this and Nelson Mandela used it without attribution.  (8/1/04 It turns out that attributing the quote to Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech is one of those internet myths - something that never happened.  Thanks to John F. for letting me know the straight scoop on this.)  It is a wonderful quote in any event.  In my article on New Age Misinterpretations of Metaphysical Truth, and again in the online book that I just finished, I express my extreme displeasure with some things that Marianne has to say - but this is one of her gems.

The Truth that resonates in this quote is an important reminder of who we Truly are.  The natural reaction to reading this for most codependents is to judge and beat ourselves up for not being as en-Light-ened as we "should" be by this time. 

It is important to remember the Truth in this quote - and to remember that we need to learn to let the Light shine within, in our relationship with ourselves first and foremost.  As I discuss towards the end of my book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls, there are some very good reasons that we have incredible resistance to owning our power - to owning, and opening up to, the Love and Light that is our True essence.  Shining the Light within starts with learning to stop judging ourselves for where we are at on our path.  Manifesting Love into the world has to start at home by learning to stop giving power to the "shoulds" and the comparisons of the critical parent voice within.

An analogy that I find useful - and have heard myself sharing in several 12 step meetings recently - is that recovery is like climbing a huge mountain.  If I stop and look at how far I have to go, I can feel overwhelmed - and my disease will try to beat me up.  It is important for me to remind myself that it is the disease / critical parent voice that wants me:  to feel overwhelmed and hopeless;  to compare myself negatively to other people;  and to judge myself against false and unreasonable expectations of perfection - of where I "should" be.  The only comparison that is helpful to me occasionally is to compare where I am now to where I used to be. (Where I used to be in my True emotional reality - not the longing for the good old days of denial the disease tries to get us to indulge in occasionally.)  It is important for me periodically to stop and look back at how far I have come - and both congratulate myself for the actions I have been willing to take to align with healing, and express gratitude for the guidance and the miracles that have been part of my climb.  Most of the time it is best just to stay focused on what is in right in front of me, with just an occasional glance upward towards what feels like the next milestone I am heading for (not all the way to the top) - just to make any adjustments in direction that may seem helpful. - Joy2MeU Update January 2002

Go to Update November 2006

Abundant Spirituality + codependency recovery + inner child healing + Love = Joy2MeULogo of Joy to You & Me Enterprises, publisher of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls Joy2MeU Home Page

New PageSacred Spiral with tail pointing to right signifying 'going toward.'Site IndexSacred Spiral with tail pointing to right signifying 'going toward.'October 2005 UpdateSacred Spiral with tail pointing to right signifying 'going toward.'Intensive Training DaySacred Spiral with tail pointing to right signifying 'going toward.'Information Pages Index

Contact RobertLogo of Joy to You & Me Enterprises, publisher of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
Privacy Statement

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995.  Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005,& 2006 by Robert Burney  PO Box 977 Cambria CA 93428.